Enneagram Compatibility Chart for Relationships + Dating Tips

10 May 2023

Ever wonder if there is a recipe for a successful relationship? You may be surprised, but actually, there is such a thing.

The Enneagram compatibility chart for relationships helps you better understand your and your partner's needs. By analyzing it, you can improve the quality of your relationship or, if you are single, understand what kind of partner you need.

In this article, you will learn more about your Enneagram type and what you need for your love life to flourish. Besides that, our Enneagram compatibility chart will help you reveal exactly what kind of motivation drives your relationship. Wait no more—dive right in!

What is the Enneagram?

Enneagram is a well-rounded system that categorizes people into nine personality types. Each type is thoroughly studied so you can easily understand your core motivations, strengths, challenges, and fears once you determine your type.

It is a powerful tool that helps you quickly come into contact with your essence. This is of immense importance when you are having trouble making a decision, feel stuck in a particular situation, or are overwhelmed with stress. So, in other words, the Enneagram helps you understand yourself and the people around you better.

Enneagram Personality Test

The first step to improving your relationships with others is working on your relationship with yourself. By taking the Enneagram personality test, you will find your Enneagram personality type, which will help you understand who you are and how you connect with others, build relationships, and choose partners.

The test is formulated in such a way as to give you enough room to give as precise an answer as possible. It is in your best interest to be honest because once you get the results, you can embark on a journey of self-exploration.

Enneagram Compatibility Chart

While it is not good to believe that there are compatibility rules and that you can't flourish with someone who doesn't fit you according to the Enneagram personality chart, it is still important to understand why you are drawn to certain types and not others.

This table will allow you to quickly learn which personality types you are most and least compatible with:

Enneagram Type

They Are Most Compatible With

They Get Along Well With

Challenging But Can Work If They Try Harder

Type 1

Type 2 and Type 7

Type 3 and Type 9

Type 8 and Type 4

Type 2

Type 3 and Type 8

Type 5 and Type 6

Type 7 and Type 9

Type 3

Type 9 and Type 2

Type 1 and Type 5

Type 4 and Type 8

Type 4

Type 9 and Type 5

Type 7 and Type 8

Type 1 and Type 6

Type 5

Type 1 and Type 2

Type 7 and Type 3

Type 8

Type 6

Type 9

Type 8 and Type 2

Type 7, Type 3

Type 7

Type 3, Type 4, and Type 9

Type 1, Type 5

Type 2 and Type 8

Type 8

Type 9 and Type 2

Type 2 and Type 6

Type 1, Type 3

Type 9

Type 7 and Type 8

Type 6 and Type 4

Type 2, Type 5

The Reformer - Type 1

Type One of the Enneagram is called the Reformer due to their deep urge to improve the world through changes that they find necessary. Needless to say, they relentlessly strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.

This Enneagram type holds high moral standards and is particularly merciless to themselves. This is because of their core fear of being defectivein some way, which they believe others will eventually see in them, no matter how hard they try to achieve perfection.

Enneagram Type 1 Compatibility

In love, Ones may be drawn to the other types with the same drive but are most likely to find true happiness with the nurturing Two. That’s because they need the reassurance and the emotional warmth of the Twos to open up, while in return they help Twos feel safe as they bring some steadiness and consistent commitment into the relationship.

The Reformer is also naturally drawn to the vivacious Seven. Though very attractive to a Reformer, Seven may often be one of the least compatible Enneagram types for them.

The reason for this is that the childlike and unreliable nature of Sevens who seek fun and excitement may trigger One’s deep feeling of inadequacy.

Ones are also often attracted to the bright and charming Threes, who are just as result-oriented as they are. If these two types overcome mutual competitiveness and find common goals, they can make a harmonious couple.

Though there may not be so many sparks between Ones and Nines at first sight, these two can also have a great relationship because Nines help Ones accept themselves and silence the voice of their inner critic. They just need more time to warm up to each other.

The domineering nature of Eights can irritate Ones, who also like to assume leadership roles. The good thing is that these two respect each other, which is a foundation upon which they can concisely build a healthy relationship if they both take care not to step on each other's toes.

There may be a lot of passion between the moody Fours and righteous Ones. Fours can trigger the savior complex in Ones, which is a game they should avoid. Fours already feel deeply flawed, and criticizing Ones may easily hurt them with their sharp remarks once they realize Fours don’t want to be saved but loved for who they are.

Dating Tips

If you are a One, it is essential to tame your inner critic if you want to be happy in love. While your need for continuous self-improvement is a great asset in other areas of your life, it can make you too judgemental in relationships.

Therefore, letting go of the perfectionism and high standards you impose on yourself and others is essential if you want to keep the right people close.

The Helper - Type 2

For the Helper, relationships are the essence of life. They are ready to go above and beyond to make other people feel happy. In fact, they’re like the spring Sun at their best—everyone is instinctively drawn to them as they radiate gentle warmth and understanding.

However, Type Two has trouble vocalizing their needs, so they need an emotionally literate and generous partner since they are so easy to take advantage of.

Enneagram Type 2 Compatibility

Eights are their most compatible Enneagram type for Twos, as they are naturally inclined to stand up for those who are not as assertive as them.

Twos and Threes are also often a great fit. Twos’ emotional fluency and connection with feelings are exactly what Threes need to remember who they really are since they tend to forget their essence on their quest to success. Threes will, on the other hand, help Twos assert their needs more freely and provide them with a sense of direction.

Fives and Twos can have a rather interesting relationship. They are drawn by each other’s differences, which is a challenge at first, but the more they get to know each other, the better they understand. Twos offer warmth and help Fives express what they feel, while Fives make Twos feel safe with their can-do attitude.

Twos and Sixes may need time to feel attraction, but if they allow the relationship to develop slowly, they can build a strong connection. Both of them value stability and loyalty. Twos’ emotional strength alleviates Sixes’ anxiety, and these two enjoy planning their future together.

Sevens’ charm is not something Twos are fascinated with—in fact, Sevens’ unpredictability and impulsiveness terrify them. So, this couple would have to put in a lot of effort to improve their communication and their sensitivity to one another's needs. On the other hand, Nines and Twos have too much in common and might need extra effort to make their relationship exciting.

Dating Tips For Enneagram Type 2

As a Two, you have amazing stamina and a certain magnetic quality, so you attract others with ease. But, you find it hard to end the relationship, even when it is obviously bad for you. Making a list of your needs before showing up in the dating arena could help you raise awareness of your own feelings and thus help you make wiser choices.

The Achiever - Type 3

Success is the keyword for understanding the drive behind the charismatic Threes. The Achiever needs success like water—in case they fail to grow professionally, they tend to feel worthless and unlovable.

Moreover, Threes are charming and very practical individuals, but they care a lot about their reputation. The need to always keep the ideal image in the eyes of others can also push them far away from their authentic selves.

Enneagram Type 3 Compatibility

When a Three feels safe and loved, they become passionate, playful, and very dedicated. They will bask in the warmth of Nines and Twos because these types have the emotional warmth they need to feel safe. The spontaneous, playful Sevens will give them great time and adventures, and they will enjoy smooth communication with the intellectual Fives.

Type One and Type Three are both ambitious, though for completely different reasons. They enjoy working together, and there may be a lot of passion between them. If One tames their inner critic and Three stays true to themselves, they can make it work together.

Fives and Threes enjoy each other’s company but may need someone else to push them into each other’s arms, as they both have trouble expressing romantic emotions.

Achievers are often fascinated by the Fours’ uniqueness, but their non-conformist attitude may scare them away, as they depend so much on social approval. However, if they overcome their different social needs, they can learn a lot from each other.

Threes and Eights may get too competitive. Both want to be leaders, and both have trouble being vulnerable, but when they realize they can rely on one another, they will both flourish. Needless to say, in such cases, they do have the potential to become a real power couple.

Dating Tips for Enneagram Type 3

If you are a Three, your happiness in love directly depends on your ability to stay in touch with your true self. Try not to give in to the urge to sacrifice your authenticity just to keep the image of success.

The Individualist - Type 4

Fours are the “Artists” of the Enneagram, even though not all of them are into art. They are highly emotional, creative, and unique characters who crave understanding and acceptance of all their differences.

The fear that motivates many of their actions is that they will be lost in the mass if they don't show what makes them different. This is because they are full of contradictions, very self-conscious, and often have trouble with low self-esteem—and not everyone is ready to accept that.

Enneagram Type 4 Compatibility

Fours tend to lose touch with reality, so they need a partner to help them keep both feet on the ground. Thanks to their peaceful stamina and ability to accept and understand all emotions, Nines will keep Fours calm and under control.

On the other hand, the attraction between Fives and Fours also creates exciting relationships full of exploration and mutual respect. The reason for this is that Fives are so inquisitive and curious about the outer world, while Fours love exploring their own emotional depths.

With Sevens, Fours can enjoy many adventures. Both types are curious nonconformists, free to express their true selves. However, since Sevens tend to avoid serious conversations, and Fours like to dive deep, they will need a special effort to make the relationship last.

Fours can be intimidated by the Eights’ strength and straightforwardness, but Eights admire the Fours’ creativity. If they overcome the initial bumps in the road, the Fours will enjoy feeling protected by the Eights, who have a soft spot for sensitive souls.

The criticism of Ones is the last thing a Four needs, and Ones are terrified of the Four’s moodiness. Still, if the attraction is strong, Four will take One on a journey of self-exploration, and One will have to learn to silence their inner critic.

Fours can be very anxious, and Sixes are always worried, so this combination may trigger the worst in both types but also be a huge motivation for both to overcome their fears. Sixes will do their best to make Fours feel secure, and Fours will appreciate Sixes’ loyalty.

Enneagram Type 4 Dating Tips

As a Four, you have big emotions and are not afraid to show them. For this reason, you should look for a partner who does not shy away from your emotional depth. You may also easily get attracted to the charismatic Eight and Three, but these realistic, pragmatic, goal-oriented types may trigger your deepest insecurities.

The Investigator - Type 5

Nothing gets a Five going like an honest, intellectual challenge. As an Investigator, they live to learn and explore the world. In fact, how safe this type will feel in the world is directly proportional to how deep their knowledge and understanding of the world are.

However, since Fives are so intellectually focused, relationships don't come easily to them. They often seem cold and aloof—like they don't need a relationship at all. So, having in mind that they usually live in their heads, sensual pleasures and sex may also be an area where they need extra understanding.

Enneagram Type 5 Compatibility

Fives and Twos are perfect examples of how opposites attract. Twos have trouble setting boundaries, and Fives are so good at that, which is why they can positively influence Twos as partners.

Ones and Fives are also brought together by common interests, thoroughness, and love for work, while Threes usually impress Fives with their magnetism and assertiveness.

Fives and Sevens are both insatiably curious and find each other very interesting. Sevens may teach them how to relax and enjoy life more, while Fives can show Sevens the benefits of planning and structure.

Threes respect the expertise of Fives and appreciate their useful advice, while Fives feel more grounded with Threes, who are very aware of social norms and the demands of everyday life. This may not be an instant attraction, but the better they know each other, the more they like each other.

Type Five and Type Eight seem like they wouldn’t have a lot of problems, but since both of them tend to control their emotions a lot and both are fiercely independent, they need someone or something to keep them together. Both need to be very mature to make the relationship work—otherwise, they will easily drift apart.

Dating Tips for Enneagram Type 5

If you are a type Five, the main obstacle in your love life may be your intellectualism. You enjoy debates and mental challenges, but you benefit most from relationships with types who spontaneously express their emotional warmth.

The Loyalist - Type 6

The Loyalists are family types who have had a precise idea of who they want to marry, what their house will look like, and how many kids they will have since their childhood. They crave stability and depend on the support of the people around them.

Sixes can be excellent leaders and parents and do not shy away from serious commitment—they crave it. Also, since they thrive when surrounded by people, they usually excel in structured environments and large systems with ease.

Enneagram Type 6 Compatibility

Sixes and Nines often make a great couple and excellent parents, as Nines' deep inner peace naturally soothes the suspicious and doubtful side of the Six.

Sixes and Eights can also be a very harmonious couple. They are both responsible and hardworking, and Eights can make Sixes feel very safe once they open up and become really close.

Twos also offer stability and peace, which Sixes crave so deeply. There may not be a lot of sparks immediately, but these two grow to love each other.

Sevens’ warmth and optimism are very attractive to Sixes, who need a break from their worries from time to time. But for this relationship to last, Sevens have to overcome their impulsivity, and Sixes need to learn to relax. If they don’t invest conscious effort into nurturing their relationship, the unpredictable nature of Enthusiasts may trigger all of the Sixes’ deepest insecurities.

Finally, Threes and Sixes are very professional and get along great at work. In love, Threes can be very flirtatious, while Sixes value loyalty, so they would have to find a way to overcome these differences.

Dating Tips for Enneagram Type 6

As a Loyalist, your deep need for security pushes you to plan and try to control everything around you. Due to this, telling you to go with the flow often sounds like an insult to you.

However, this needs to change, as even the most caring and nurturing partners may sometimes feel threatened by your need to pull all the strings. You will enjoy love more if you gradually learn to give in and trust.

The Enthusiast - Type 7

Sevens are the children of Enneagram—playful, lively, and always looking for fun. And just like children, they fear pain the most and will do anything to avoid it.

Always thirsty for sensations and excitement, this type is full of enthusiasm and easily attracts others because they bring fun wherever they appear. Moreover, Sevens remind us that the world is, among other things, a place of fun and joy.

Enneagram Type 7 Compatibility

The curious Seven is likely to enjoy sensual adventures on their quest for love. They may assume the role of Peter Pan or Tinkerbell to avoid facing the more serious side of relationships. Due to this, passion will spark between Threes and Sevens, as both types are highly charged. The uniqueness of Fours may also keep Sevens enchanted for a long time, while the calm Nines have the power to soothe their restlessness.

The multitalented Sevens need some guidance and direction to ensure their talents don’t go to waste, and Ones are perfect for them in that sense. They inspire Sevens to be more persistent and work harder, while Sevens teach them how to have more joy in life.

Sevens and Fives are smart and inquisitive. They can have a lot of fun together but may need help when expressing feelings for each other, as both may run away from processing deeper emotions.

Sevens and Twos are often great friends, but for a romantic relationship, Sevens will have to be ready to respect the Twos’ need for stability, and Twos will have to learn to accept the Sevens’ need for thrills and adventures outside the relationship.

Meanwhile, Sevens and Eights get along great when it comes to embarking on exciting adventures, enjoying life, and having fun. But, if they want more than just a fling, Sevens will have to prove to Eights that they deserve their trust, while Eights will have to give up on their need to control the Sevens.

Dating Tips for Enneagram Type 7

Enthusiasts often jump from one relationship into another. If you are a Seven, take a deep breath and try not to rush so hastily into new love experiences. You should realize that your constant fear of missing out makes you miss out on many beautiful dating moments.

The Challenger - Type 8

The passionate Eights are eye-catchers wherever they show up. They radiate unique, strong charisma and attractiveness and often enjoy a very dynamic love life.

Challengers are also strong-willed and domineering, which often makes them come across as intimidating. To the more emotional types, they may come off as insensitive and egocentric. Yet, their big heart hidden behind the tough outside is definitely a part of their charm.

Also, Eights typically have trust issues, and a lot of their macho or ice queen image is actually a defense mechanism to protect them from being manipulated and used.

Enneagram Type 8 Compatibility

The powerful passion of the Eights leaves no one indifferent, but it’s especially seductive for Nines and Twos, who gladfully merge with strong personalities.

Eights and Sixes also make great couples, as they both value security and loyalty. Eights bring passion to this relationship, and Sixes enjoy feeling protected by their strong partner.

Challenges may arise from the fact that Sixes are very traditional, and Eights don’t really care to play it by the book. However, these two types share the fear of being let down, so they both try hard to maintain stability.

Eights and Ones may get a bit competitive, but there’s a lot of passion between them that keeps them together. If they both learn to be easy on themselves, their relationship will have a beautiful future.

As for competitiveness, Threes may challenge Eights even more in that sense. Both Eights and Threes hide their feelings and put on a strong facade, so it may take time for them to open up. Eights will always win in their power struggles, which may make Threes like failures, which is exactly what they are afraid of the most.

Dating Tips for Enneagram Type 8

As an Eight, you tend to control people, and this kind of behavior may not be the best recipe for a happy romance. In love, letting go of control often brings the most precious experiences!

The Peacemaker - Type 9

The Peacemakers are adorable, charming people who are often popular in their surroundings because they sincerely and warmly accept and understand others.

They typically carry an experience of harsh conflict and/or separation from childhood, which propelled them to become so good at restoring peace among conflicted sides. At times, they even invest a lot of energy in harmonizing their environment without ever being aware of that.

On top of that, Nines also have a distinct, artistic trait and enjoy beauty on a deeper level than most other types.

Enneagram Type 9 Compatibility

Peacemakers are typically attracted to strong personalities and enjoy it when their partner is in the spotlight. Sevens are strongly drawn to Nines, who they see as their safe haven. Sixes enjoy their stability, and Eights glow when they support them. Yet, although they share many traits, Twos and Nines are least compatible as lovers.

Sixes and Nines understand each other on an emotional level, though both find it hard to make the first step. But, when they do, their relationship grows slowly and steadily. They both enjoy having a large circle of family and friends and make great parents.

Nines and Fours share an artistic flair, so their relationship can be inspiring for both of them to get creative. Fours finally feel accepted the way they are, and Nines tend to instinctively soothe the inner conflicts of Fours. Still, Nines should only take care that their needs are also met in this relationship.

Dating Tips for Enneagram Type 9

As a Nine, you may feel the urge to shy away from even the slightest difference in opinion when you like someone, which often leads you to neglect your needs in a relationship. Learning that confrontation doesn't have to mean the end of love will profoundly transform your relationships.

Key Takeaways

Knowing yourself is the key to finding happiness in love, and the Enneagram allows you to quickly identify your core needs and define what you need in romantic relationships.

Although we proposed the Enneagram compatibility table, there are no strict rules about which types make the best couples. Still, the understanding and knowledge that Enneagram provides you with can help you make the most of any partnership—be it love or business.