Understanding Enneagram 6 and 8 Relationship: Full Analysis

19 December 2023

enneagram 6 and 8 relationship

Enneagram 6 and 8 relationship is bursting with potential despite the fact that Eight, the Challenger, and Six, the Loyalist, don’t have a lot in common. However, they can give each other exactly what they need, which is the most important indicator of a harmonious relationship.

But is that enough for the Challenger and the Loyalist to fall in love with each other? Let’s take a closer look at the dynamics of Enneagram 6 and 8 relationships to find out.

Enneagram Type 6 and Type 8 Compatibility

Sixes are prudent, loyal family types who seek stability in life. They are responsible, traditional, and always there for their friends and loved ones. Being connected to the community is important to them, as they dread the mere idea of being cut off from other people.

For Sixes, rules make life more predictable and, therefore, safer, so they tend to follow the rules to avoid unpredictable situations occurring as much as possible.

Eights, on the other hand, are the most self-confident type of the Enneagram. They like to have everything under control and aspire to positions of power. Eights also value tradition and loyalty like Sixes, but they also love adventures and aren’t afraid to take risks.

While Eights can be too bold and domineering for the delicate Sixes, and Sixes can be too indecisive for the ambitious Eights, Enneagram 6 and 8 compatibility is very high because they can fulfill each other’s core needs and agree around their core values.

How Do Enneagram Types 6 and 8 Contribute to the Relationship?

enneagram 6 and 8 relationship

Sixes bring a sense of security and warmth into the relationship, while Eights contribute with their passion and courage. Eights’ strength, leadership, and protective attitude are exactly what Sixes need to feel safe so that they can open up emotionally and show their affection.

As a result of the support that the Sixes provide, the Eights feel empowered, which results in an excellent relationship between them.

They both admire each other’s diligence, hard work, and commitment and easily bond over it. Another thing they have in common is the tendency to be very suspicious of other people's intentions, so they unite around the idea that they have to hold each other’s back, just like two Eights who thrive on mutual trust.

Their initial mistrust makes them bond slowly, but once they do, their relationships are rock solid and last for years. It's important to note that because both types value loyalty and assertiveness, an Enneagram 6 and 8 misidentification can occur, though their approaches to challenges are distinct. Moreover, they often decide to have a family together.

Enneagram Type 6 and 8 Relationship Details & Insights

Enneagram Type 6 and 8 Relationship Details & Insights - enneagram 6 and 8 relationship

Many delicate ties form the intricate web that holds the Sixes and Eights together. We’ll now take a closer look at all the essential aspects of their connection to understand what makes it so strong and how they overcome their challenges.

#1. Type 6 and Type 8—Communication

Enneagram Type 6 communication style is colored by their need to please other people and ensure a secure connection. They are compassionate, attentive listeners who notice and remember details of their interactions with other people. At the same time, they are precise, able to be objective, and never compromise their integrity.

Enneagram Type 8 communicates in a very assertive manner. They are direct, honest, and often a bit bossy. However, their boldness can easily be mistaken for rudeness, especially by more sensitive types.

However, since both are honest and respectful in their communication, they easily find mutual language, and their communication flows smoothly, just like with the 7 and 9 pairing.

#2. Type 6 and Type 8—Values

For Sixes, security and stability are the most important things in life. Their fear of unpredictability drives them. Therefore, they do their best to make life as predictable and safe as possible by creating plans, rules, and strategies and firmly sticking to them.

Eights’ core value is autonomy. They crave power because they believe it ensures their independence and the ability to control their destiny.

Both Eights and Sixes value loyalty, commitment, and stability in relationships, as both deeply fear betrayal. Therefore, in terms of values, they fit perfectly.

#3. Type 6 and Type 8—Building Trust

Type 6 and Type 8—Building Trust - enneagram 6 and 8 relationship

Both Sixes and Eights have trust issues. For this reason, they both test other people in many different ways before they decide they can rely on them. That’s why the Enneagram 6 and 8 dating stage can last longer than usual but, in general, they easily overcome this challenge since both are responsible, respectful, and honest.

Moreover, overcoming their mutual trust issues is crucial for all the other aspects of their relationship. After the period of mutual testing is successfully concluded, they build a powerful alliance and keep deepening their connection.

#4. Type 6 and Type 8—Stress Management

Sixes are one of the most insecure and anxiety-prone Enneagram types. Their whole life strategy is built around overcoming their inherent insecurity.

Therefore, Sixes under stress are particularly sensitive and vulnerable. They crave reassurance, support, and protection from their partner when they hit a rough patch.

Eights, on the other hand, become aggressive, confrontational, and emotionally shut down under stress as they focus on regaining control. They may distance themselves from their partner to avoid feeling vulnerable, which Sixes may interpret as being pushed away.

When they become aware of their defense mechanisms, they have the power to become each other’s biggest support in times of stress. In the same way, two Sixes manage stress together, calming each other due to their mutual approach to anxiety.

#5. Type 6 and Type 8—Passion & Intimacy

Type 6 and Type 8—Passion & Intimacy - enneagram 6 and 8 relationship

For Sixes, it is essential they feel safe and accepted around someone to be able to access their sensual side. Meanwhile, Eights are very intense and hedonistic, so they spontaneously teach Sixes to take more pleasure from life. The passion between them develops slowly, but their flame is not easily distinguished.

#6. Type 6 and Type 8—Emotional Support

Sixes are deeply compassionate, and for the people they love, they will always go the extra mile and provide them with the kind of support they need without asking for anything in return. An Enneagram 6 female might exemplify this trait, always being there for her loved ones with unwavering support.

However, Eights are extremely self-sufficient and find it hard to ask for support of any kind. But, when they let their guard down, they are amazed by the Six’s capacity to understand and support them.

Meanwhile, Sixes often openly ask for emotional support, and Eights are more than willing to provide it, as they feel empowered by Sixes' need to depend on them.

#7. Type 6 and Type 8—Intellectual Exchange

Quality intellectual exchange is important both to Sixes and Eights and they have a lot to offer each other in this area. Sixes’ analytical mind and problem-solving ability amaze Eights, who impress Sixes with their daring ideas and strategic thinking. They enjoy exchanging their insights and have huge respect for one another.

On top of it, Sixes' attention to detail and Eights’ big-picture thinking are a great combo for making meticulous plans and strategies, which they both enjoy.

#8. Type 6 and Type 8—Mutual Motivation & Encouragement

For Sixes, the most important factor when it comes to being motivated is feeling safe and protected and having someone guide them. Eights are natural-born leaders, and Sixes are delighted to rely on their strength and guidance. Therefore, Sixes feel both encouraged and motivated to pursue their goals and grow in every sense when they are in a relationship with Eights.

On the other hand, Eights thrive on Sixes’ loyalty, devotion, and emotional warmth, which empower them to be the best they can be.

3 Potential Troubles in Enneagram Type 6 and 8 Relationship

3 Potential Troubles in Enneagram Type 6 and 8 Relationship

The biggest source of potential troubles for Enneagram 6 and 8 in love lies in their different coping mechanisms. As long as they don’t experience stress at the same time, they find a way to overcome relationship challenges. However, things can get messy when they hit a rough patch simultaneously.

So, let’s take a look at some of the biggest issues they face together:

Confrontation Vs. Conflict Avoidance

Sixes are generally oriented toward preserving harmony in relationships, and conflicts are deeply triggering for them as they perceive them as a threat of abandonment. Eights, on the other hand, like to face issues head-on and hate beating around the bush when it comes to addressing things that bother them.

Therefore, Sixes may find it easier to withdraw and comply while suffering in silence, as they may perceive Eight's assertiveness as aggressiveness. Meanwhile, Eights may get irritated by Six's tendency to avoid dealing with problems.

It is essential that they create a strategy for handling conflicts in their relationship that will suit them both. Since both like to plan and strategize, this shouldn’t be too hard for them.

Autonomy Vs. Dependence

Eights are very independent, and they don’t rely on other people even when they know they can. Although they are deeply committed to the relationship, they will never neglect their interest and connections outside the relationship.

Meanwhile, Sixes tend to have an anxious attachment style and center their lives around their partner and relationship. They may feel insecure due to Eights’ need to preserve their autonomy, and Eights might feel pressured by Sixes' need to spend every moment together.

It is essential they communicate their needs openly and explore ways in which they can understand each other’s fears. They are both afraid of the same thing, which is betrayal and when they become aware of it, they can build a deeper connection.

Vulnerability Vs. Intimacy

When Eight's fear of vulnerability clashes with Six’s fear of abandonment, things can get pretty tense. Sixes' need for harmony may make them too complacent, which Eights may hastily misinterpret as dishonesty.

The key to overcoming these kinds of misunderstandings is compassion. Both need to take a step back to understand where the other is coming from. Then, they can work on creating a safe space for each other to bond emotionally.

Enneagram Type 6 and Type 8 Wings’ Impact Their Relationship

Your Enneagram test may show that your core type has wings, meaning that you have some of the traits of one of the two types adjacent to your core type on the Enneagram diagram. Enneagram wings modify your core type’s behavior to some extent and can influence your compatibility with other Enneatypes.

So, Sixes can have Types Five and Seven, and Eights can have Types Seven and Nine as their wing. Overlapping wings, like in the case of 6w7 and 8w7, usually indicate high compatibility because of the shared traits.

6w5 are more emotionally reserved and detached than typical Sixes, and 8w9 are significantly less aggressive than typical Eights, so these two also make a good match.

How Can Type 6 and Type 8 Take Their Relationship to the Next Level?

enneagram 6 and 8 relationship

Taking a 6 and 8 relationship to the next level primarily requires commitment and honesty on both sides. Luckily, neither Sixes nor Eights take their relationship lightly and are usually interested in mutual growth. Here are some essential tips that can support their connection:

  • Create a safe space for each other. Both types are prone to workaholism and easily neglect their emotional needs. Therefore, it is essential that they plan quality time together and foster emotional intimacy.
  • Cherish joy and pleasure. The sensual side of Sixes’ and Eights' connection has the potential to become a strong source of stability and inspiration in their relationship. The happier Six is, the less anxious they will be, and the less hostile Eight will be as a result.
  • Foster trust. By avoiding criticism and nurturing honesty and tolerance for each other’s differences, Sixes and Eights enhance building trust. Eights should be more attentive to Sixes’ needs, and Sixes should take part in making decisions, especially those that concern their relationship.

Key Takeaways

Thanks to their high compatibility and shared values, Enneagram 6 and 8 friendships are just as common as Enneagram 6 and 8 romantic relationships and business partnerships. Everything these two do together has a great chance for success because both are responsible, diligent, and hardworking. Let’s round off by reminding you of the best things about their connection:

  • Eights have a vision and a strategy, while Sixes have a plan and ability to anticipate all potential obstacles, so when they have a common goal, nothing can stop them, and they often grow into a genuine power couple.
  • Sixes offer compassion, warmth, and loyalty to Eights, who spice things up with their passion, honesty, and devotion.
  • Sixes feel secure and protected with the energetic Eights, who feel empowered by Sixes’ emotional support and understanding.