Enneagram 6 and 6 Relationship: Thriving on Loyalty

Sixes are champions of stability, so it is reasonable to expect the Enneagram 6 and 6 relationship to be strong and lasting. These two master planners are surely capable of planning their future together in detail, but that doesn’t mean they can avoid all the common relationship challenges.

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at the subtleties that bond Enneagram 6 and 6 in love and explore all the crucial aspects of the Enneagram 6 and 6 relationship.

Let’s dive in!

Enneagram 6 and 6 Compatibility

As with many double-type relationships, two Sixes in a romantic relationship show very high compatibility. It doesn’t take them long to recognize they are kindred spirits, as they intuitively feel each other's needs and feelings.

In some cases, two of the same type in a relationship may become competitive, but that’s not the case with two Sixes. They feel relieved that they have found someone who understands their needs and shares their values, so they easily set up common relationship goals.

Though they generally need time to warm up, paradoxically, the Enneagram 6 and 6 dating stage doesn’t last long because they quickly begin to feel relaxed around each other. Moreover, they often decide to build a life together and create a home full of warmth, support, and love.

Additionally, note that regardless of belonging to the same personality type, they can also have Enneagram wings, which may alter their traits and behaviors.

For example, one Six can have Type 5 as a wing, and the other could have Type 7, meaning they would bring some of the Fives’ and Sevens’ qualities into their connection. We’ll cover this topic in more detail in one of the following sections.

How Enneagram Type 6s Each Contribute to the Relationship

Two Sixes bring similar qualities to the relationship, but the most significant one is the sense of security they feel from having found someone who truly gets them. Sixes will not find each other’s overthinking unnecessary or their anxiety unreasonable.

Right from the start, they agree to take their connection seriously and focus on stability, which reinforces all other aspects of their relationship. The mutual understanding between them subtly but surely strengthens the sense of closeness in their relationship and enables them to unwind a bit.

Similar lifestyles also contribute to a sense of balance in the Enneagram 6 and 6 relationship. Moreover, they enjoy making meticulous plans together, anticipating all the possible outcomes and potential problems even before they arise. Thriving on loyalty, stability, and security, the two Sixes have every chance to achieve relationship bliss.

A Deep Dive Into Enneagram 6 and 6 Relationship

Let’s take a deep dive into Enneagram Type 6 and 6 relationships to reveal how they build emotional intimacy, overcome challenges, and achieve harmony.

#1. Type 6 and Type 6—Communication Styles

Sixes’ communication style is characterized by precision and clarity. They are detail-oriented, rational, pragmatic, and focused on reality. Though they are not particularly emotionally expressive, they show kindness and warmth in a very subtle manner.

Since they are respectful and considerate, they communicate easily with everyone. Their mutual communication also flows effortlessly, and they understand each other well without having to explain themselves too much.

#2. Type 6 and Type 6—Core and Relationship Values

Type 6s’ core and relationship values include security, stability, loyalty, and tradition. Feeling that they belong to the community is also very important to them, as being connected with other people contributes to them feeling safe.

Moreover, Sixes value devotion and meaningful connection. Building a family is high on their list of priorities, so they take their relationship seriously. Since they share the same values, it is easy for them to build a foundation for their relationship.

However, they also often have a need for guidance, which they project on their partner, and this is the only thing that they might not provide to each other.

#3. Type 6 and Type 6—The Trust Bond

Trust is one of the most important aspects of the Enneagram 6 and 6 relationship. Sixes often have paranoid tendencies and find it extremely difficult to trust other people, especially in romantic relationships.

But precisely because they are both terrified of abandonment and betrayal, they watch out for each other and build trust more quickly with each other than with other Enneatypes.

#4. Type 6 and Type 6—Stress Response

Type 6 and Type 6 stress response involves a lot of anxiety. Sixes are one of the most anxiety-prone Enneagram types. They are stressed by uncertainty and ambiguity, a lack of reassurance and support, and conflicts. Enneagram 6 under stress, becomes restless, prone to obsessive worry, and full of doubt. They overthink and question everyone and everything around them.

The good thing about having the same stress management strategy is that they can calm each other down as they find comfort in their shared understanding of anxiety.

#5. Type 6 and Type 6—Sensuality and Passion

Sixes belong to the Enneagram head triad, which means they are intellectually oriented and aren’t known to be particularly passionate and sensual types. However, when they feel safe and protected in a relationship, they can access the sensual side of their personality and enjoy their sensuality freely.

Once they build absolute trust with one another, they realize they have a lot more room for pleasure, joy, and the little things in life than they had imagined in their hearts.

Plus, since they easily learn to trust each other, this aspect of their relationship usually flourishes.

#6. Type 6 and Type 6—Emotional Understanding

Sixes are natural nurturers, and they feel both the need and the responsibility to help and support the people they love. For this reason, they offer each other plenty of emotional reassurance and encouragement and intuitively read each other’s needs.

Though they may seem reserved on the outside, Sixes are very warm and affectionate in intimate relationships. Two Sixes together create a safe haven for each other to express their vulnerabilities.

#7. Type 6 and Type 6—Intellectual Compatibility

Sixes enjoy going into detail about the things that interest them, and their intellectual compatibility is very high. Moreover, they usually have a lot of shared interests, which makes their connection stronger and richer.

Since both communicate in a very respectful and considerate manner, even when they disagree on things, they don’t turn the difference in opinion into a conflict but enjoy exploring their differing views.

#8. Type 6 and Type 6—Mutual Inspiration & Encouragement

Considering how deeply they understand each other and how compassionate and supportive they are in general, the two Sixes provide each other with plenty of motivation and encouragement in all aspects of their connection.

They understand each other’s fears and needs, and they wholeheartedly support each other’s personal and professional pursuits. This results in a reinforced feeling of mutual safety and helps them overcome their shared weaknesses more easily.

4 Potential Issues in Enneagram Type 6 and 6 Relationship

The potential issues in the Enneagram Type 6 and 6 relationship stem from the very things that bring them together. Let’s see what obstacles they have to overcome as a couple:

#1. Codependence

Sixes generally need a lot of reassurance about the reciprocity of feelings in the relationship. Sometimes, when they are under stress, they may rely on their partner too much and become clingy.

Moreover, their codependency tendencies are generally strong, and it doesn’t take them much to become obsessed with their relationship, overthinking every detail of their partner’s behavior.

The fact that they share these tendencies may make them too focused on each other. It is essential for both to cultivate their interests and connections outside of the relationship.

#2. Lack of Initiative

Sixes often look for some kind of guidance and protection from their partner. Since neither is willing to take on the leadership role in their relationship, they may feel lost, always looking for some external factors to provide them with direction.

Therefore, it is essential for both to show more initiative and learn to assert themselves without fearing that expressing their desires would cause conflicts.

#3. Conflict Avoidance

Sixes are afraid of conflicts because they trigger their fear of abandonment. For this reason, they are ready to go above and beyond to avoid conflicts. However, when both stay silent instead of vocalizing their differing attitudes, needs, or opinions, they only make room for miscommunication.

For this reason, it is essential that they learn healthier ways to deal with conflicts in a relationship.

#4. Lack of Spontaneity

Since both tend to plan everything in their lives in detail, they may eventually feel stuck and even trapped in their own plans. While planning for the future instills a much-needed sense of security in them, it also blocks spontaneous expression.

Instead of constantly focusing on what could go wrong, Sixes should make more room for playfulness, creativity, and joy in their relationship.

How Enneagram Type 6’s Wings Impact Their Relationship

Your Enneagram test results may indicate that your core Enneagram type has wings. This means that you have some traits of one of the two neighboring types on the Enneagram circumference.

Wings can modify your core type’s character and behavior as well as your compatibility with other Enneagram types.

So, Sixes can have Types Five and Seven as their wings. When their wings overlap, there’s greater harmony in the relationshipas there are many shared traits. On the other hand, different wings in a relationship between two of the same Enneatypes may spice up their connection by adding a whole new dimension to it.

In general, 6w5s are more introverted and independent versions of Type Six, while 6w7s are more spontaneous, playful, and relaxed than typical Sixes.

3 Tips on How Type 6 & 6 Can Improve Their Relationship

The following tips on how Type 6 & 6 can improve their relationship will help Sixes infuse their relationship with vitality and joy:

#1. Focus on Pleasure

Sixes are generally focused on their responsibilities. Sticking to their plans and doing everything the right way makes them feel safe. However, they often don’t leave a lot of room for pleasure in life. What they fail to understand is that pleasure and joy also provide them with a sense of security and confidence in life.

Therefore, it is essential that they make time and space in their relationship for things that bring them joy. The more pleasure and joy they experience together, the more relaxed they become.

#2. Encourage Healthy Interdependence

Instead of relying on each other for everything, Sixes should make sure they don’t neglect their friends and other connections outside their relationship. Additionally, it is crucial that they strive for personal and professional growth and thus foster their sense of agency and autonomy.

Achieving healthy interdependence will also enhance trust in the Enneagram 6 and 6 relationship.

#3. Handle Conflicts Directly but Gracefully

Sixes need to learn to speak up about what bothers them and confront each other directly and with respect, without fearing they will be rejected or left alone for disagreeing.

One of the most efficient ways to achieve this is to plan a relationship conflict management strategy. They like rules and plans, so they will enjoy using them to foster a healthy exchange of opinions.

Key Takeaways

Both Enneagram 6 and 6 friendships and romantic relationships are based on their shared values and needs. The great thing about two Sixes being together is that they can instill a sense of security in each other, which is a strong foundation both for their individual and relationship growth.

So, let’s round off by highlighting the most positive aspects of Enneagram 6 and 6 relationship:

• Sixes make each other feel safe and, therefore, allow themselves to relax and enjoy life more when they are together.
• They easily build emotional intimacy because they understand each other perfectly.
• Since they have the same values and aspirations in life, they often decide to start a family together and build a home full of love and support.

Learn how Type 6 pairs with different Enneagram types by reading our following articles:

• Enneagram 2 and 6 relationship
• Enneagram 4 and 6 relationship
• Enneagram 6 and 9 relationship