26 September 2023
Enneagram Type One—the Perfectionist—has a heart of gold. However, their heart is often well hidden behind piles of color-coded to-do lists and ambitious goals. It is hard to imagine someone who can keep up with their high standards and meticulous plans, but some Enneatypes indeed can—at least according to the Enneagram Type 1 compatibility theory! Enneagram 1 males often face unique challenges in maintaining these high standards, especially in relationships.
Come along as we delve into the relationship needs and preferences of the Perfectionists and discover what Enneagram types make the best matches for them.
Perfectionists aim for serious, structured relationships that fit in well with their plans in life, despite the fact they are often seduced by types who are everything but structured. As children, Type Ones often learned to value order and structure, shaping their high expectations for both themselves and others in adulthood.
So, while they may secretly dream of someone who would teach them to be playful and let go of control, they have their own standards they firmly stick to.
So, here is an overview of the most important expectations Type One has from love and relationships:
For a fun peek into the world of Enneagram 1s, check out our Enneagram 1 memes compilation! It's packed with relatable laughs and insights into their perfectionistic tendencies.
Now, let’s explore Enneagram 1 compatibility with other Enneagram types.
Let’s start with an Enneagram Type 1 Compatibility chart which will summarize everything before we dive into analyzing every possible pairing:
Enneagram Types | Compatibility | Positive Aspects | Challenges |
High | Shared values, mutual support | Severe mutual criticism | |
High | Growth-oriented couple | Conflicts over control | |
Type One & Type Three | Moderate | Shared goals and ambition | Competitiveness |
Type One & Type Four | Moderate | Shared value for authenticity | Misunderstandings |
Type One & Type Five | Moderate | Intellectual compatibility | Lack of warmth |
High | Shared values and lifestyle | Lack of excitement | |
Low | Attraction of opposites, passion | Lifestyle conflicts | |
Type One & Type Eight | High | Mutual respect, integrity | Power struggles |
Type One & Type Nine | High | Emotional support, shared values | Different expectations |
When two Perfectionists meet, everything is possible. Depending on the context, they might be instantly attracted to each other or become passionate rivals. However, in general, since both want the same thing, they understand each other well and can make a great couple.
The major challenge for two Enneagram Ones in a relationship is criticism. Since both have high standards and strong inner critics, the atmosphere could get heated when they are both under stress. That’s because they might blame one another for their mistakes, while both are incapable of forgiving themselves.
Moreover, it is hard for both of them to see how their perfectionism harms their relationship.
However, since they are also very committed to personal growth and development, they usually find a way to overcome such challenges. Mutual goals and shared values can keep them together for a long time in all kinds of relationships, from friendships to business partnerships and everything in between.
Enneagram 1 compatibility with Type Two is very high, despite their many differences. The gentle and kind Twos are just as responsible and competent as Type Ones, but since they rather focus on relationships, that’s the last thing anyone notices about them.
However, Ones notice and respect Twos’ dedication and perseverance and adore the Twos' comforting emotional glow.
Additionally, Twos are one of the rare Enneatypes who have the power to silence the One’s inner critic and help them accept their flaws and mistakes. Moreover, it is safe to say that Twos are perfectly capable of satisfying all Enneagram type 1 intimacy needs.
Ones, who have little to no experience of being unconditionally loved, flourish with Twos, who always find a way to understand and support them. While Ones bring direction, drive, and structure to this relationship, Twos enrich it with their warmth and sense of romance.
In this combination, Twos finally feel safe and respected, and Ones finally feel loved. The only challenge they may occasionally stumble on is when One’s need for control and Two’s possessiveness clash.
Enneagram 1 compatibility with Type Three is moderate. Type One and Type Three are great business partners who inspire each other with their competitive attitudes and ambitious goals.
However, while they may share the same drive and goals, their motivations are completely different. Ones are driven by ethics and morality, while Threes seek personal recognition.
When it comes to emotional bonding, that doesn’t go easily for these two, as both of them are prone to suppressing their emotions. Moreover, Ones usually assume a very critical attitude, and Threes are very sensitive to criticism, so it is hard for them to open up to one another.
Threes and Ones would need a lot of patience and favorable circumstances to become really close, and even then, there would always be a fair amount of competitiveness.
Since they are both workaholics, they would also have trouble finding time for each other. Having this in mind, it is no surprise that business partnerships are more common among them than romantic ones.
Enneagram 1 compatibility with Type Four is characterized by unpredictability. It all depends on the circumstances and life phases in which these two cross each other’s paths.
Ones generally don’t have a lot of patience for the Four’s melodrama, and Fours find Ones' high standards unfair, rigid, and unrealistic. Therefore, they are not commonly attracted to each other.
On the other hand, Ones value the authenticity and honesty of Fours, while Fours might enjoy the direction, structure, and security Ones bring to the table. If they overcome their initial animosity, they could actually get along pretty well.
A mature and healthy Type One could also enjoy and learn from the Four's willingness to delve into the emotional depths of their relationships. Meanwhile, Fours could learn from Ones that structure and rules are essential for feeling secure and reducing anxiety related to the unpredictability of life.
So, when Enneagram 1 and 4 understand that they actually share the same values, as both are deeply principled and authentic, they could form lasting friendships, romantic relationships, and even business collaborations.
Enneagram 1 compatibility with Type Five is based on intellectual exchange and deep respect.
Ones and Fives have a lot in common in terms of character. They are both independent, thorough, and rational, and they both value integrity.
However, while they would easily strike up a curious conversation with each other at a party, they may lack the initial spark—the x spice—that makes romantic relationships magical. Therefore, they much more often become good friends than lovers.
The biggest challenge to their relationship is restrained emotional expression. Both Ones and Fives lack spontaneity and personal warmth, which results in a lack of intimacy in a relationship.
After all, just imagine Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot meeting, and you will have an idea of the kind of bond that forms between Ones and Fives. They would undoubtedly share many common interests but would not put much effort into developing their relationship emotionally.
Enneagram 1 compatibility with Type Six is based on common values and emotional needs. Sixes often perceive Ones as a dream come true. Ones are trustworthy, responsible, morally upright, and protective of their partners, but most importantly, Ones offer leadership, which is what Sixes need most in a life partner.
On the other hand, Ones get a kick out of being the protectors and leaders in their relationships with Sixes because it boosts their own sense of power and self-assurance. They also hold Sixes in high regard for their commitment, loyalty, and attentiveness in romantic partnerships. Plus, both of them are very traditional, so they easily agree on starting a family.
Their compatibility is also excellent when it comes to business. They make great business partners and can accomplish a lot together, as both of them are very organized, realistic, and hardworking.
The most difficult test for their relationship happens when One's criticism collides with Six's anxiety. Sixes feel they already try so hard to please their perfectionist partner and, therefore, find their disappointment devastating. However, since both value honest communication, they have great chances of overcoming all their challenges.
The compatibility of Enneagram Type 1 and Type 7 can be thought of as the magnetic pull of opposites. To say that they have nothing in common would be a euphemism. However, they each have exactly what the other needs to grow and mature as individuals. That is also why there are so many different opinions about how well they go together.
Ones may rationally despise Seven’s carelessness and irresponsibility, but they are magically fascinated by their free spirit, spontaneity, and playfulness. Sevens, on the other hand, may see it as a challenge to loosen up the uptight One but find themselves charmed by One’s qualities along the way.
If they cross paths at a convenient moment, they could have a unique relationship that inspires the best in both of them. However, if they are not mature enough and meet each other in stressful circumstances, their relationship could be very dramatic and painful for both.
One would eventually expect Seven to tone down and settle, while Seven would start to feel restrained and overwhelmed by One’s high standards and expectations. They would surely have a lot to work on if they wanted to stay together.
In business, however, they could get along great as long as One is the boss and Seven is the creative associate.
Enneagram 1 compatibility with Type Eight is defined by their shared values and a strong sense of right and wrong. They respect each other, as both have strong, principled characters.
However, their connection may also be considered a clash of the titans. Both Ones and Eights are full of initiative, and both want to take charge and get things done, which at times may lead to competitiveness.
Ones also tend to insist on their way of doing things as the optimal one, while Eights can’t bear to have someone over their heads, so their relationship can only work if both of them have a lot of space.
Building emotional closeness is also a challenge for Enneagram 1 and 8, as Ones are pretty detached, and Eights are terrified of showing vulnerability. However, if they are both mature and open to change, they may have a productive and exciting relationship full of passion.
Type 1 and Type 9 compatibility is best defined by their shared need for harmony. Both of them want peace and order in their environment, so they easily connect over mutual goals and ideals. Moreover, despite One’s readiness to deal with conflicts head-on, they prefer peaceful solutions, which aligns with Nine's desire to avoid confrontation.
The special value of this connection is that these two complement each other well. Nines’ supportive and compassionate nature is deeply soothing for the self-righteous and critical Ones, while Ones’ drive and initiative are inspiring for the inert Nines.
Nines bring warmth, kindness, and understanding into this relationship, while Ones spice it up with ambition, drive, and passion. The biggest challenge they may face is when Nines become indolent and Ones become too critical. In such circumstances, Nines become incredibly stubborn, and Ones only become even more demanding.
However, these two make great romantic partners, friends, and business associates and easily overcome relationship challenges since both are very fond of peace and harmony.
It is important to keep in mind that despite what the Enneagram 1 compatibility chart says about particular combinations, every relationship can be successful and healthy as long as both parties are willing to grow, develop, and compromise.
And now, let’s summarize this guide with some key insights about Enneagram 1 compatibility with other Enneatypes:
If you're interested in learning more about the compatibility of other Enneagram types, check out our other articles:
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