Enneagram 1 Friendships: Strengths and Challenges

Enneagram 1 friendships are characterized by stability, longevity, and loyalty, as they reflect the moral nature of Type One, who choose their friends carefully. Moreover, Ones have the capacity to build deep and meaningful relationships with others, as they tend to bond over shared values and ideals.

In this article, we’ll analyze what Type Ones are like as friends, what they look for in friendship, and what challenges they face in this aspect of life.

4 Key Traits of Enneagram 1 in Friendships

Like in every other aspect of life, Enneagram Type One, the Perfectionist, has very high standards regarding friendships. They seek people who understand and share their goals and who are just as consistent, responsible, and devoted as they are.

So, let’s take a look at One’s key traits in friendships:

#1. Honesty

Honesty is one of Type One’s core values and the reason they are so direct in friendships. They don’t hold back when it comes to criticizing their friends, led by the desire to improve their lives and inspire them to be the best versions of themselves. Luckily, their friends are usually used to their honesty and don’t hold it against them.

The positive side of being so honest in Enneagram 1 friendships is that it keeps the connection fresh. Ones always have something to share with their friends because they feel free to say what they really mean at all times.

#2. Integrity

Ones are very consistent as friends—they think what they say and do what they think, and you can always hold them by their word. Their integrity drives them to always act in line with their values and morals.

As a result, no matter how much you mean to them as a friend, they will never approve of your actions that go against their sense of integrity. Moreover, they will try to change your mind and convince you to do what they believe is right in the sense of ethics and morals.

#3. Helpfulness

Enneagram Type One is the kind of friend that may judge you when you do something they consider wrong, but they will never leave you in your darkest hour. Ones always want to help their friends, and they are generous in giving you the time, energy, and compassion that you need.

Moreover, they don’t hesitate to offer help in the form of material goods too, from lending you money or a car to inviting you to stay at their place when you need it.

#4. High Standards

Ones hold themselves to very high standards, which they also project onto their friends. The closer someone is to them, the higher standards they will have for their friendship. For this reason, they typically seek connections with people who have qualities similar to theirs and aim to build their relationships on trust, loyalty, and honesty.

Moreover, Ones expect nothing less than what they provide to their friends, and their friendship isn’t easily earned.

3 Must-Know Strengths of Enneagram 1 as a Friend

The morally virtuous Ones have many strengths as friends, and it is a real privilege to be chosen by them and become a part of their closest circle. Independent and resilient, they focus only on those friendships that they believe can last, and while doing so, they typically display the following strengths:

#1. Ability to Inspire

Ones always have an idea of how you can improve yourself and are very enthusiastic about supporting your personal growth and development. They will never let you give up on something you love and will encourage you to pursue your passions relentlessly.

Moreover, they will offer practical advice and encourage you to foster self-discipline; this trait of theirs is a reflection of their commitment to self-improvement.

Their ability to inspire others is particularly evident when you experience some kind of bereavement or defeat, as Ones will always find the right word to get you back on your feet. As a result, Enneagram 1 friendships are a great source of motivation for both this type and their friends.

#2. Thoughtfulness

Though they may seem very demanding, once you earn their trust and respect, Ones are very thoughtful and caring friends. They remember a million tiny things that you like and take all of them into account when inviting you for a trip or preparing a gift for you.

Moreover, Ones are very compassionate, even though they don’t seem so empathetic at first sight. They show their compassion through practical acts of kindness, which also reflect their thoughtful nature.

#3. Dependability

Personal accountability is a huge part of any Enneagram 1 friendship. Motivated by the desire to always do the right thing, Ones will go above and beyond to be there for you when you’re facing the toughest challenges.

While they may also offer a lesson while helping you, they’ll never leave you stranded, for sure. Their help is always selfless, as they never expect anything in return for helping you or being there for you in your darkest hour.

3 Biggest Challenges of Enneagram 1 Friendships

The challenges of Enneagram 1 in friendships mostly come from their intense, perfectionistic nature. So, despite their good intentions, they might appear too demanding and judgmental, which may irritate their friends. Let’s see what the key issues they need to work on are:

#1. Perfectionistic Projections

Though Ones truly want the best for their friends, their criticism, even when constructive, may feel unnecessary and overwhelming. That’s especially true when Ones don’t consider that sometimes people don’t need advice but just a warm hug of support and understanding.

In addition, even people who are close to Ones may sometimes perceive them as too judgmental and feel threatened by their high standards. That’s because Ones are especially prone to friendship perfectionism, which means they project exceptionally high expectations on their friends with whom they are emotionally closest.

#2. Rigidity

Ones struggle with relaxing and find it hard to be spontaneous even with people with whom they achieve a high level of intimacy. For this reason, they may sometimes lack the spirit of fun and joy that is inherent to friendship, and their friends may perceive them as the ‘boring friend’ who is great but not the first choice to invite to a party or some other event.

Due to this, Ones may miss out on opportunities to have a good time with their friends and strengthen their bond through spontaneous and uninhibited interaction. Having this in mind, it’s safe to conclude that Enneagram 1 friendships often need more balance between responsibility and playfulness.

#3. Neglect of Emotional Bonds

In their desire to do everything perfectly and to be morally correct, Ones may focus too much on what they believe an ideal friend and friendship should be, thus neglecting the emotional bond. Used to control their emotions, Ones find it natural to put their feelings aside, which is why they may come off as unsupportive.

On top of it, they tend to intellectualize their emotions, as intellectualization is one of their defense mechanisms. However, they are unaware that by doing this, they create an unnecessary distance between them and their friends.

3 Useful Tips on Building a Strong Friendship with Enneagram 1

Building a strong Enneagram 1 friendship means, before all other things, being honest both to yourself and to them. Perfectionists have zero tolerance for insincerity and are generally complex and sensitive despite their strong outlook.

With that in mind, here are the three things you need to focus on to build a strong friendship with Ones:

#1. Be Respectful

Respect is more important than love for Type One because respect implies so many things for them—honesty, consistency, reliability, and open, direct communication. So, make sure your behavior is a reflection of your words because earning One’s trust isn’t easy.

In addition, one of the best ways to show respect to Enneagram Type One is to show interest in their goals and offer support and understanding for their aspirations.

#2. Share Your Ideals

Ones find great support in people who share their aspirations. They enjoy having someone to exchange their insights with and deeply respect people who pursue their passions and stand up for what they believe in.

So, talk to Ones about your plans for the future, all the ways you invest in self-improvement, your goals and ideals, strategies and tactics. You can also share your mistakes and how you overcame them, as this topic is very important for Ones, who often struggle to move on past their mistakes.

#3. Be Straightforward

Sugarcoating doesn’t work with Type One; you should speak up about important things openly, transparently, and directly.

For example, when a Type One asks you for an opinion on something, tell them honestly what you think; don’t beat around the bush. However, avoid criticizing them too much, as they may feel attacked and withdraw from the connection since their inner critic is already too strong.

How Can Perfectionists Grow and Become Better Friends?

Perfectionists can grow and become better friends primarily by overcoming their perfectionistic tendencies. Here are some key ideas on how Ones can improve their friendships:

• Don’t project your standards on your friends. Despite the fact that you only want the best for your friends, you need to understand that no one can know what they need better than themselves. Allow them some room to grow and come to certain insights on their own without your input and help. Otherwise, you may cause unnecessary conflicts in your Enneagram 1 friendships.
• Share your emotions socially. Emotional connection is at the heart of every friendship, and friends are there to hear you out even when you are not your perfect self. By allowing your friends to see you at your worst, you are making room for more closeness. Plus, your act of opening up encourages them to be open to you, too.
• Foster spontaneity: Personal growth isn’t a linear, perfectly planned process but rather a unique path with many ups and downs. By limiting your spontaneity in relationships with others, you’re unconsciously limiting your growth potential. Therefore, accept your friends’ spontaneous initiatives more often to strengthen your bond with them.

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Key Takeaways

Having a Perfectionist friend means having someone who will always be there to encourage you to be your best self. Let’s round off with some essential points about Enneagram 1 friendship:

• Enneagram 1 friendships are stable, honest, and committed, as Ones seek friends who share their values and ideals.
• The biggest challenge for Enneagram 1 friendships is Ones’ perfectionism, as it may trigger their friends to feel like they are never good enough for One.
• Ones need to embrace spontaneity, decrease perfectionism, and share their feelings more to improve their friendships and strengthen their bonds with others.