28 August 2023
Considering how bothered Enneagram Type Ones are by the inevitable messiness of everyday life, it is not hard to picture what happens when stress comes knocking on their doors. From crooked picture frames to social injustice, there are many things that can affect their idealistic souls and put Enneagram Type One in a stressful state.
Carrying the burden of perfectionism is very challenging in normal circumstances, let alone in turmoil. Do Ones have to give up on their commitment to perfection, or does stress only make them more resolute to preserve it? Let’s see what the challenges of Enneagram One in stress and growth are!
Ones are high-minded idealists who feel a strong urge to reform, improve, and fix the world to make it a better place for everyone. They have a strong innate sense of right and wrong and feel personally affected by injustice. For that reason, they often feel they are called to serve a higher purpose of protecting the principles of good.
These people are very hard on themselves, as they strive for perfection in every sense. The voice of their inner critic haunts them, and they find it hard to relax and enjoy life unless they heavily earn it through hard and conscious work.
Organized, detail-oriented, and independent, Ones may seem ambitious, but they are actually more motivated by the fear of making mistakes than the desire to impress others with their achievements, like Threes, for example.
Because of their strong sense of responsibility and commitment to doing things the right way, they usually assume positions of authority and engage in social justice initiatives. They are also deeply motivated to constantly improve, learn, and grow, which is why they so often become experts in their fields of interest.
Enneagram Type One belongs to the Enneagram gut triad, which means their core emotion is the anger they direct toward themselves. So, when they experience stress, they are like timed bombs, just waiting for the next mistake to implode. These implosions usually take the form of the cruel and harsh voice of their already hyperactive inner critic.
That’s how they enter the hyperjudgemental mode, in which they roast themselves for even the slightest mistakes but eventually start judging and criticizing others, too. In such cases, they will feel deep resentment and struggle to silence that harsh inner voice that tells them they are never good enough at the same time.
As the stress rises, they shift toward the traits of an unhealthy Enneagram Four, or as the Enneagram stress arrows point, they move in the direction of disintegration. This means they become highly sensitive, emotionally intense, and dramatic while at the same time isolating themselves from the people who want to help them.
Under stress, Ones are also particularly prone to obsessing about certain issues and excessive worrying. They may feel like everyone betrayed them while they show no effort to explain to others what they are going through.
Ones seem calm and under control, but they are actually pretty anxious because, for them, the world is imperfect and full of mistakes that need to be corrected. However, not all life flaws trigger them in the same way. There are certain issues they are particularly sensitive to, as these activate their deepest fears.
Depending on Enneagram One’s active wing, they may be more sensitive to disharmony (1w9) or to disrespect (1w2) in different forms.
Here are the most common Enneagram Type One stress triggers:
Ones are probably the type of people who invented the rules—they firmly believe that these are made to protect us and that they must be obeyed without exceptions. So, when people around them don’t respect the rules, they take it personally and feel offended and threatened.
For Perfectionists, rules are also one of the ways they stay in control. Therefore, ignoring and skipping rules for them means losing control, and that’s something they can’t afford in this messy world.
Hardworking and diligent, Ones will gladly take the biggest burden in their organization, community, or family. They can’t leave anything unfinished, so they jump in wherever they notice something needs to be done or corrected. What they fail to understand is that people around them quickly get used to them constantly finishing their business.
So, when Ones realize that no one is grateful for the things they do for them, they begin to feel resentment and anger and gradually enter stress mode, as they don’t communicate what bothers them.
Telling Enneagram Type One to relax and go with the flow is like speaking to them in a different language. They need to have everything planned to the thinnest detail to be able to even think about relaxing. Needless to say, moral integrity and discipline are their top priorities.
Therefore, when they come into contact with individuals who lack a sense of responsibility, such relationships feel deeply unsettling for Ones. They put in so much effort to perform perfectly and take care of everything, so when others don’t show the same dedication, they feel utterly frustrated.
When they witness or perceive injustice in their environment, Ones feel obliged to react and confront the cause. They believe everyone deserves justice and equal treatment and always take care not to damage anyone by being biased, irresponsible, or unfair. And when they face injustice, they have no power to confront or prevent, their whole world shakes.
There’s no harsher judge than the One’s inner critic. Exactly because they are already so hard on themselves, Ones find it very challenging to deal with external criticism. So, they try to do everything perfectly to ensure they don’t need to make up for any mistakes.
They unconsciously believe that if they are hard enough on themselves, people around them will leave them in peace without estimating and judging them. So, when Ones face criticism despite all their efforts, it’s the breakdown of their survival strategy that really hurts.
Maintaining order and sticking to their routines provides Ones with a sense of stability and control. Therefore, logically, chaotic environments make them feel like they are losing control. Lack of clarity, inefficiency, and sloppiness make room for mistakes, which an Enneagram Type One can’t tolerate.
That’s why disorganization feels so threatening to them. Ones prefer when things are well-structured, as this gives them a sense of purpose and direction and allows them to minimize the possibility of making a mistake.
Perfectionists are one of the most independent Enneagram types, which doesn’t really make their lives easier. They don’t like to be seen as incompetent or helpless, which is why they never ask for help when they are in stress, making their burden even heavier.
The good news is that their inner critic’s voice can be tamed as soon as Ones realize they are their own worst enemy. So, here are a few healthy strategies for dealing with stress that Ones should use:
Ones are diligent and attentive in everything they do, so there’s no reason to remind them that ‘practice makes it perfect.’ However, they should be reminded that ‘patience makes it perfect,’ too, as they tend to be restless and too eager to get things done immediately, which is often impossible.
Splitting goals into small achievements and noticing everyday progress is a great strategy for Enneagram 1 in stress. That’s how they learn to appreciate the process and not only the results.
Ones have to learn to reach out to their friends and loved ones for support. But to do that, they first have to be aware of the fact that they need support. Since they were usually encouraged to become independent too early in their lives, they often don’t know how it feels to be supported, comforted, and encouraged.
If you are a One, choose one relationship you feel the safest in, talk to the chosen person, and openly seek support the next time you feel overwhelmed.
As mentioned previously, Ones identify strongly with their inner critic. This makes it even more necessary for them to become aware of the depleting influence of such constant self-criticism on their overall wellbeing.
It is crucial for them to acknowledge that this part of their being is just internalized criticism they were exposed to as kids; it is not an integral part of their personalities.
Only when they identify where such criticism actually comes from will they be able to differentiate their authentic selves from the introjected perfectionistic standards. And when they do, they will get rid of all that stress that comes from unrealistic expectations.
To lighten the mood, why not visit the Enneagram 1 Memes page? It's a fun way to reflect on the quirks of being a Type One!
Fake positivity offers nothing good, but learning to find something good in every situation without disregarding its seriousness makes us more resilient. Ones are so intensely focused on finding flaws in everything that they often fail to see the positive aspects of life’s challenges. Therefore, embracing the power of positive thinking can be a life-changing hack for them.
First of all, never criticize an Enneagram Type One in stress. Even well-intentioned and constructive criticism will only drive them away, as they are already burning in their own self-created hell of self-blame and punishment.
Offering ready-made solutions is another bad idea when dealing with Enneagram One in stress. You can be sure they have already seen the situation from every possible angle. The one thing they never do, though, is forgive themselves for being human.
You’ll need a lot of tact, empathy, and understanding to stay with Ones during tough times. This may be difficult because, in such cases, they will do everything they can to distance themselves from other people, especially from those who want to help them.
But where does Enneagram 1 go in stress? The answer is—they go as far away as possible, as they feel ashamed and angry at themselves and the world.
Finally, you should never—under any circumstance—show you pity them, because compassion in that form feels humiliating to them. Instead, be subtly present, available, and patient. They need to know you respect them just the same, regardless of any perceived mistakes they might have made.
So, we hope this article helped you understand Enneagram 1 in stress on a deeper level. Let’s round it off with some key insights:
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