23 May 2023
Is Enneagram 4 really so different from all other Enneagram types, or do they just want to be perceived as such? One thing is for sure—Fours will never conform to common, socially desirable standards at the cost of their authenticity.
This peculiar Enneagram type invites us to explore and cherish our differences. So, just by learning more about Fours, you’ll inevitably discover some interesting things about yourself, even if you don’t belong to this personality type yourself!
Let’s find out more about what makes this type so unique!
Fours have delicate and complex personalities. Their identity is closely tied to their feelings. Since feelings are very prone to change, Fours often struggle to understand who they really are. Their instinctual variants significantly influence how they interact with the world and manage their emotional states. Therefore, they focus on differences, as differences are a replacement for healthy boundaries between other people and them.
Though they seem distant and detached, Enneagram 4 just needs space to discover who they are before they are ready to connect with others. They often feel they are inherently different from others, both in a positive and negative way. For example, they may believe they are geniuses in one area while also believing they are ultimately flawed in another.
When balanced, Fours are exceptionally creative and find a way to communicate that their needs are different through their creations and work. They explore their inner world, work through their emotions, and transform their experiences into something everyone can relate to. It is safe to say they are the archetype of an artist who touches the collective through deeply personal expression.
For all these and many other reasons, Fours usually go through many transformations in life. They often see their lives as a quest for self-discovery. However, while on this quest, they are often more interested in their past than their future. As they mature, they learn to make space for new connections, experiences, and feelings instead of holding on to the past.
For a deeper understanding and a touch of humor on Enneagram 4 behavior, make sure to check out our Enneagram 4 memes page!
The Fours’ usual arrogant and aloof image hides a deep need for connection. They believe they are so different from others that there is no one in the world who could really understand, let alone love them. But, when they meet someone with whom they can share their interests or who can support them unconditionally, they slowly open up.
Enneagram 4 hobbies often include activities that allow them to express their deep emotions and creativity, such as painting, writing, or playing music, which they may enjoy sharing with someone special.
Speaking of this, here’s a brief overview of Enneagram 4 compatibility with their best matches.
Though Fours are made of emotions and Fives are made of intellect, both types are introverted, introspected, and like exploring their depths. These two respect each other and provide exactly what the other lacks the most.
An Enneagram 4 male, for instance, might find a sense of balance with a Type Five partner, where his emotional depth complements the intellectual approach of the Five. Fours learn to employ their logic and put their emotions aside with Fives, while Fives learn to see the world through an emotional prism, too. As they become closer, they develop their own unique and mutual love language, their own jokes, and their views of the world.
Fours and Nines don’t need words to understand each other—their attraction is instant. This is a couple that will share many interests, but what really makes their relationship strong is that they answer each other's deepest needs.
The Nines' acceptance, love, and lack of judgment calm Four's fears of not being good enough. So, in other words, they seem to be the saviors Fours have always hoped for. Moreover, Nines themselves enjoy being there for Fours through all their emotional turbulence.
Wings represent the influence of one of the two types that surround your core Enneagram type. Enneagram 4 can have either a Three or a Five wing, which means that Type Four can have many characteristics of Type Two or Type Five.
In 4w5s, the imagination of a Four meets the rational intellect of a Five, resulting in a highly creative and productive personality. This type is interested in both the outside world and their own inner depths.
Since both Fives and Fours are introverted, Enneagram 4 wing 5 will be a very private person. They are the world's researchers, scientists, inventors, and innovators who constantly present a fresh viewpoint on everything.
The Three wing makes Enneagram 4 more open, goal-oriented, and practical. For this reason, Enneagram 4 wing 3 is often an eccentric striving to set their own unique standards and rules of success. Their ambition is not just to succeed or be perceived as different but to achieve something remarkable and original.
Emotionally delicate and often talented, they are always noticed in their surroundings. Despite their dramatic behavior and usually arrogant attitude, they are just sensitive souls who crave acceptance and recognition.
Fours are generally oriented toward personal growth and development. Many of their strengths come as the result of their eagerness to learn more about their inner world of emotions. However, such a strong focus on emotions has its downsides, too.
Though Enneagram 4 often believes that their hypersensitivity is what makes them vulnerable, it is actually their exaggerated focus on emotions that is the source of their weaknesses.
The Four's curiosity and eagerness to explore their inner depths uncover many of their greatest strengths, including:
Enneagram 4 tends to feel weak and overwhelmed by reality. However, truth be told, they are no weaker than any other Enneagram type. The good thing about Fours is that they are usually aware of their weakest points, which are:
Fours' deepest fears and desires reflect the universal human need to be accepted and loved, despite the eccentric, original, and often unique image they project to the outside world. Since they are very interested in personal development, their fears and desires also evolve over time.
Since emotions play a central part in the Four’s life, it is very important for them to understand their core fears, which are:
Fours’ desires are intense, and they strive hard to fulfill them. They include:
Emotionally fragile and delicate, Enneagram 4 is often very prone to stress. While stress can come from anywhere, it is frequently caused by the mistaken belief that they are more flawed than others. As a result, Fours enter a self-critical mode and frequently experience depression because they focus on their own shortcomings while idealizing the qualities of others.
Lack of emotional intimacy and prolonged loneliness also put a strain on Fours. In such circumstances, they become clingy, moody, and demanding at one moment and then completely disappear from all social platforms at another.
Large teams, strict rules, and a negative atmosphere in their surroundings are also very stressful for Fours. They instinctively pull back and get lost in their inner worlds when they feel threatened by the outside world. Sometimes, they may wander off too deep into their heads when that happens.
Enneagram 4 in stress simply need some alone time and peace to process their feelings. Without it, they feel lost and pressured, and they find it hard to fit in.
Though they want to be seen as someone who doesn't need other people or relationships in general, Fours crave deep connection and romantic love. They are, actually, the biggest romantics of the Enneagram, often believing in concepts like “there’s only one perfect person for everyone,” “there’s only one true love,” and similar.
What Fours are looking for in relationships is to be understood and appreciated for who they are without being judged or criticized. They need to connect with someone through shared views of the world.
Deep, long conversations about the meaning of life, human nature, the logic of emotions, and similar topics are what this type enjoys the most. The concept of platonic love was probably created by an Enneagram type 4 personality.
When this type finds that special person, they cherish the relationship, tend to be very protective and secretive about it, and generally treat it as very special.
Enneagram 4 is not interested in managerial positions or power. In fact, hierarchy, strict rules, corporate politics, and similar issues are boring and often stressful for them. Therefore, they will not be particularly happy in a typical business setting, regardless of whether they are managers or team members.
Roles that require specific, expert knowledge and allow enough freedom are far more suitable for Fours. For this reason, they often choose to work as independent workers, consultants, associates, and freelancers.
Discover more about the work attitude of Enneagram Type 4 in our dedicated Enneagram at work post.
Creativity and imagination are the Fours’ strongest suits, so they are naturally drawn to careers that allow them to express these traits and often become designers, artists, writers, and movie directors. Also, due to their interest in emotions, they may also choose careers of psychologists and counselors.
Because Enneagram 4 believes they are nothing if they are not distinct from others, any career that does not allow them to do so will feel like punishment to them. Therefore, administration, statistics, and red tape work will be sources of stress for a Four, who needs the freedom to create something unique and feel good about themselves.
Every Enneagram type, including Enneagram 4, goes through different challenges in life, through which they change, mature, and develop. Still, depending on their experiences and motivation to grow, all types can function at different developmental levels.
On a healthy level, Enneagram 4 exhibits unique emotional strength. Instead of being overly sensitive and subjective, they transform their emotional energy into original creations.
Allowing themselves to be vulnerable, they readily connect with others and let go of the feeling that they are less worthy. Also, by being positive about their own differences, they encourage other people to talk about theirs.
Thanks to their emotional stability, their intuitive powers also flourish, making them one of the smartest Enneagram types in terms of emotional intelligence. At this level, Fours are capable of unique emotional insights, such as those that have made the greatest revolutions in psychology, for example.
On an average level, Fours are mainly concerned with finding their identity. They pay much attention to their image and find it of utter importance to be seen as one of a kind. Proving their uniqueness equals being worthy of love and acceptance, so they strive hard to establish themselves as such.
For that purpose, they may experiment with different styles, haircuts, and outfits. They may also behave in a dramatic, theatrical manner just to make sure they stand out.
At an unhealthy level of functioning, Fours like to play the victim and feel sorry for themselves. They become needy, hyperemotional, and prone to extreme mood swings. As their attempts to connect with others fail, they withdraw, isolate, and get locked in their heads.
In extreme cases, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, eating disorders, and alcoholism become the worst facets of Four's personality. In some situations, they may also slip into a substance use disorder.
Fours are one of the Enneagram types with the strongest motivation to grow and develop. Here are some tips that are essential for Fours to help them overcome their weaknesses:
It is not rare for Enneagram 4 to rise to fame since they have such a strong need to distinguish themselves from others. Some of the most well-known Enneagram 4 celebrities are:
For more insights into Enneagram 4 and other types, check out our list of must-listen Enneagram podcasts.
Hopefully, this glimpse into the Enneagram 4 personality traits has allowed you to understand these individuals and see them for who they really are! After all, that's exactly what a Four would want from you!
Now, before you go, let’s wrap up with some of this type’s key traits:
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