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Unhealthy Enneagram 4: All About Their Dysfunctional Patterns

31 October 2023

Since they tend to show their intense feelings openly, Fours are often misunderstood as being unstable and dramatic. But they are actually much more resilient than they seem, and it takes a lot for unhealthy Enneagram 4 patterns to set in.

In this article, we will explore the specific hows and whys of unhealthy Enneagram 4 and learn what Fours require to begin their journey toward healing. So, stay tuned to see if we can dive deeper than Type Four typically does!

How Healthy Enneagram 4 Looks Like

Healthy Enneagram 4 is highly creative, productive, and deeply compassionate. They draw immense energy and inspiration from their emotional self-awareness and are capable of producing truly unique ideas, insights, concepts, or works of art.

Healthy Fours are independent thinkers who live in their own world, fueled by their imagination and creativity but not at odds with established social norms or disconnected from reality. They eagerly—and with childlike curiosity—immerse themselves into the depths of their imagination and then rush back to reality to share their precious insights with other people.

Thanks to a deep understanding of themselves, they connect with other people from an authentic place and foster deep and genuine emotional bonds.

What Does an Unhealthy Enneagram 4 Look Like?

Here’s what happens when Fours resort to unhealthy patterns and engage all their coping mechanisms toward one goal—to hide their perceived flaws:

#1. They Might Be Self-Delusional

Enneagram Type Four’s identity is tied to their feelings. Since feelings are ever-changing, their identity is very fluid and frail, particularly when they feel intense sorrow, pain, fear, and other unpleasant feelings. By making their emotions the most important factor in determining what is real, they end up with a highly nuanced and subjective picture of the world.

Because of this, they may easily fall into a state of delusion due to replacing rational thought with an emotional response, which can be particularly pronounced in an Enneagram 4 female.

#2. They Suffer From Mood Swings

When we compare healthy vs unhealthy Enneagram 4, a healthy Four is capable of distancing themselves from their emotional experience and understanding the source of their emotional reaction. Unhealthy Fours are easily overwhelmed by any feeling that they experience.

They may behave euphorically because they had such an interesting conversation or completely desperate because the waiter at the coffee shop looked down on them, and all this during the course of one day.

#3. They Act Like Martyrs

Unhealthy Enneagram 4 fails to see the link between their thoughts and their emotions and feels deeply incapable of taking care of themselves.

They believe others misunderstand them and undervalue them when, in reality, they are just projecting their own insecurities onto those around them. As a result, they easily provoke conflicts while feeling as if they are attacked at the same time.

Eventually, they resort to fantasizing about someone who will see how special they are, celebrate their uniqueness, and provide them with the love and respect they crave. But, even when someone shows honest admiration toward them, they are quick to judge that person as unworthy of their trust, locking themselves in the position of a martyr.

#4. They Are Self-Destructive

Unhealthy Fours believe that they are not worthy of love and respect unless they are exceptional in some way. And, since they have a hard time identifying what makes them special, they unconsciously punish themselves for falling short of their own made-up standards.

Therefore, substance abuse, reckless driving, self-injury, and other forms of extreme self-destruction are all on the menu of an unhealthy Four’s behavior patterns. They may even engage in petty crimes, unconsciously setting themselves up to be caught and punished by society.

#5. They Are Prone to Codependency

Since their sense of self is so frail and volatile, Fours have a great need to bond with someone in order to provide themselves with some kind of stability. That’s why they get attached to the first suitable person, taking over their values, ready to suffer if necessary, just to avoid being left alone and dealing with their feelings of inadequacy.

In such relationships, Fours completely lose their identity, desperately surrender to the relationship, idealize their partner, and attribute great power to them.

#6. They Have Rage Outbursts

Unhealthy Fours have no emotional regulation skills. They are what they feel, which can be very troubling when they feel intense anger. As a result, they are predisposed to having rage episodes, which can put a significant strain on their relationships with others due to their extreme volatility and irrationality.

When they are overwhelmed with anger, they easily blame others for how they feel, leaving people around them confused and resentful. This only intensifies their feeling that no one understands them and makes them even angrier.

#7. They Obsess Over Their Flaws

When unhealthy, Fours are completely consumed by feeling flawed, inadequate, and undeserving. No matter what they achieve or how many people love and admire their creativity, they will obsess over their perceived flaws, comparing themselves to other people. They typically conclude that everyone else is better than they are and see other people as lucky.

#8. They Isolate Themselves

Due to their perceived flaws, the Fours desperately fear rejection. So, hiding under the mask of a misunderstood artist or scientist, Fours will withdraw to lick their wounds in solitude and prevent anyone from seeing how deeply flawed they are.

For some time, they may find some solace in their fantasy world, but in the long run, lack of communication with other people only provokes more instability, and they end up suffering even more.

Ready to shake off the negativity? Take a break and enjoy some lighthearted insights into Enneagram 4 behavior on our dedicated Enneagram 4 memes page.

What Makes Enneagram 4 Become Unhealthy?

Enneagram 4 Trigger - Lack of inspiration

At their core, Fours fear abandonment. Through childhood, their experiences usually teach them that one of the best ways to ensure their caregivers’ attention is to be different from others. So, somehow, they conclude that only if they manage to be one of a kind would they ensure they are not abandoned.

Therefore, whenever their fear of abandonment gets the best of them, their unhealthy patterns activate. In general, all the things that tackle this deep-seated fear are potential catalysts for them to become unhealthy. Here are some of the most common triggers for their unhealthy patterns:

Criticism. Harsh criticism may also inspire a similar unhealthy scenario in the lives of Fours, pushing them to endlessly analyze their perceived flaws and eventually conclude they are not good enough to deserve love.
Turbulent relationships. A tough breakup or a severe disappointment in a person they are close with is also deeply unsettling for Fours. Due to their codependency tendencies, they may experience a severe identity crisis when a significant relationship ends.
Lack of inspiration. Another important catalyst for their unhealthy traits can also be the experience of a creative block. Given the importance Fours place on being seen as distinct, creativity plays a crucial role in their daily lives. This causes them to panic and act out on their darkest fears whenever they experience a dry spell in their creative process.

Head over to our Enneagram 4 in Stress article to learn more about Fours' behaviors and coping mechanisms during periods of stress.

How Can Enneagram 4 Heal From Their Unhealthy Patterns?

Though it may sound like a commonplace, it is still pretty much true; the path to healing for Enneagram Type Four lies in the power of self-love. However, this is easier said than done, especially for Fours, who don’t really know how it feels to be loved without strings attached. So here are a few tips that can help them to develop in a healthy direction:

Identify the source of self-criticism. For Fours, the first step in learning to love themselves is to realize that all their negative self-talk is the result of messages they internalized.
Introduce healthy routines. Routines are very important in the life of a Four because they provide a sense of stability, which also affects their mood and overall self-confidence.
Foster creativity. Learning to regulate their emotions in a healthy way through creative expression has the power to transform Four’s life and open the door to the greatest fulfillment.

How to Deal With an Unhealthy Enneagram 4

Dealing with an unhealthy Enneagram 4 requires special sensitivity since unhealthy Fours are hyperreactive and can easily misinterpret facial expressions, glares, or even a handshake. They need someone who can offer warmth and acceptance like Type Nine, who’ll understand them intuitively like Type Two, and who will protect them like Type Eight.

It is essential that you create a safe space for them where they can share their deepest doubts with you without fearing you’ll judge them. Validate all their emotions and encourage them to express how they feel through art or some other means of creative work.

Key Takeaways

If there’s an Enneatype that can transform their unhealthy patterns into a work of art, that would surely be Type Four. But there’s a long way to go from despair to creativity, and it takes a lot of energy to turn the unhealthy traits of Enneagram 4 into virtues. So, let’s conclude this guide with some of the major challenges Fours face on this road:

Unhealthy Fours are preoccupied with their flaws, prone to rage outbursts and mood swings, self-destruction, and self-delusion.
The primary catalysts for their unhealthy patterns are fear of abandonment, criticism, breakups, and lack of inspiration.
Dealing with unhealthy Fours requires special sensitivity and deep compassion.

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