27 September 2023
Enneagram Four, also called the Individualist, is known for insisting on their uniqueness and individuality. The most important relationship in their lives—and the one they obsess about—is their relationship with themselves. So, is it possible for them to have a romantic relationship, or should we write off romantic Enneagram 4 compatibility altogether?
Join us as we explore the exciting and dramatic world of Enneagram 4 compatibility. We’ll look at the kinds of relationships they need or don't need and learn how they mesh with other Enneatypes in different spheres of life.
Sensitive, caring, and introspective, Fours approach connections they make throughout their lives in an emotionally rich and profoundly introspective manner. This is because every new connection is an opportunity to grow and show the world a different side of themselves for Individualists.
Four’s relationships are everything but simple and boring—in fact, their love life is so complex and multifaceted.
Their essential relationship needs include:
Now, let’s explore Enneagram 4 compatibility with other Enneagram types. For starters, here’s a concise Enneagram 4 compatibility chart to give you a quick insight into the tone of every combination:
Enneagram Type | Compatibility | Benefits | Challenges |
Type Four & Type One | High | Sense of direction and growth | Lifestyle conflicts |
Moderate | Mutual emotional support | Lack of initiative | |
Low | Creativity and drive | Lack of depth and honesty | |
High | Understanding and emotional exchange | No chemistry | |
High | Introspection and new perspectives | Emotional detachment | |
Type Four & Type Six | Moderate | Security and support | Anxiety and insecurity |
Type Four & Type Seven | Low | Creativity and joy | Disappointment over different expectations |
Type Four & Type Eight | Moderate | Intensity and structure | Power struggles |
Type Four & Type Nine | High | Acceptance and emotional support | Conflict avoidance |
Fours and Ones get along pretty well despite their completely different characters and needs. They share the same desire for authenticity and growth and complement each other well in that respect, which is a great foundation for any kind of relationship.
These two may not click instantly, but their affection grows the more they learn about each other. Both are principled and value honesty and integrity, so their communication usually flows smoothly. Ones provide a sense of direction and purpose to the relationship, while Fours bring emotional depth and intensity. In other words, they inspire each other to grow.
However, when in stress, Ones may find Fours’ moodiness and emotional intensity overwhelming, while Fours may find Ones’ criticism insensitive and judgmental. The way to overcome the crisis is through open communication, which is usually likely in their case, so they have a fair chance of forming lasting relationships.
These two types also easily get along in business and make great friends who always have each other’s back.
Ever wondered about your friends' Enneagram types? Discover them with our Type Guesser Friendship test.
Enneagram 4 compatibility with Type Two is based on their shared fear of abandonment and similar emotional needs. They generously provide each other with support and affection and nurture the unique bond they feel.
But, as time goes by, Twos may begin to feel inadequate, as Four's emotional roller coaster seems never to end, and Fours may feel smothered by Twos' extensive nurture and need for constant affirmation.
Moreover, Twos are extroverted and much more socially engaged, which may trigger Fours' fear of abandonment. Meanwhile, their need for personal space and time alone may cause Twos to feel rejected.
In general, there’s a lot of potential in this couple if they are willing to grow and develop together. They experience much less turbulence as friends and business partners, though, since expectations are different in these types of relationships.
Enneagram 4 compatibility with Type 3 is based on the attraction of the opposites. Fours are introverted, artistic types who couldn’t care less for social norms, while Threes are all about social recognition and status.
Fours' creativity fascinates Threes, who respect their authenticity, while Threes' drive and ambition inspire Fours to be more practical and goal-oriented. There’s often a great deal of passion in their relationship since both are emotionally intense.
But Fours may easily feel left out whenever Threes step into the limelight, and Threes may be afraid of the level of emotional intimacy Fours expect of them. On a more positive note, Fours’ emotional insight may encourage Threes to be more authentic, but that depends on their level of maturity.
In business, these two can accomplish amazing things—when Fours’ creativity combines with Threes' practical spirit, everything is possible.
Enneagram 4 compatibility with its own type is characterized by intense feelings and shared aspirations. However, though their emotional connection can be very strong, it can also be the source of turbulence and drama between them.
These two enjoy exploring their inner depths together and sharing their insights, so they often share a special bond. They perfectly understand each other's need for solitude and creative expression, but at the same time, they can’t tame their mutual mood swings. Therefore, friction is imminent, especially when they are both under pressure.
Another issue in their relationship comes from the inevitable competitiveness that develops between the two Fours, both craving special attention and recognition of their uniqueness. This is especially evident in business partnerships and friendships between Fours.
Yet, if these two manage to overcome these fundamental challenges, they can be a constant source of inspiration, support, and encouragement to each other.
The Enneagram 4 compatibility with Enneagram 5 is characterized by very delicate feelings and shared values. Both are very curious, independent, introverted, and nonconformists, so they easily find a common language and topics for conversation.
The attraction between them builds slowly, as both need time to open up. Fours value Fives for their dependability, loyalty, and honesty, and Fives admire Fours for their willingness to delve deep into themselves and express their emotions in a unique way. Together, they create a nurturing environment that encourages personal growth.
However, they also face a few challenges until they learn to navigate their relationship successfully. Fives may easily get overwhelmed by the intensity of Fours’ emotions, and Fours may feel rejected by Fives’ need for solitude.
Friendships between them are especially beneficial, as they don't bring many challenges but encourage the best in both.
Enneagram 4 compatibility with Enneagram 6 is characterized by a blend of a desire for stability and emotional complexity. Both types value meaningful relationships—Fours need understanding and acceptance, while Sixes crave security and someone they can depend on.
However, Fours are honest and spontaneous in their emotional expression and often unpredictable, which may trigger Sixes' insecurities and fear of abandonment. Fours, on the other hand, may get frustrated by Sixes’ rigid adherence to tradition and social norms.
On top of it, Sixes like to have someone who will provide direction, and Fours aren’t willing to take on such a role. Still, Fours can provide compassion and support to insecure Sixes and help them become more aware of their needs.
For this reason, friendships and business relations have a better chance of success between these two than romantic connections. Still, regardless of the kind of relationship they have, it is essential that Enneagram 4 and 6 practice open communication and talk about their fears.
You can learn more about how these types make friends and handle friendships in our Enneagram friendships post.
Enneagram 4 compatibility with Enneagram 7 is characterized by spontaneity and passion. Fours and Sevens have a lot in common, but these similarities don’t guarantee harmony in a relationship. On the contrary, the traits they share, like impulsivity, curiosity, and a need for adventures, may be the very reason for the instability in their relationship.
Their encounter may be a fascinating experience for both, as they have so many interesting insights to share. However, Sevens are social butterflies, while Fours like to take time alone, so they may trigger each other’s insecurities. Their connection is more like a memorable adventure than a long-term relationship, as they look for entirely different things in life.
The biggest obstacle in this relationship is Seven’s fear of dealing with unpleasant emotions and superficial attitude toward emotional expression. Meanwhile, Fours aren’t interested in fun just for the sake of it but want to grow and learn about themselves.
If Type 4 and Type 7 want to make their relationship succeed, they need to find a balance between their different needs and learn to communicate openly.
Enneagram 4 compatibility with Enneagram 8 is challenging and rewarding at the same time.
Both are strong and captivating characters whose differences may complement their relationship. Fours bring emotional richness and expression into this relationship, while Eights contribute with strength, passion, and a sense of purpose. Fours’ emotional intensity may also counteract Eights’ boldness, allowing both partners to grow and develop.
They also respect each other deeply because they both have such a strong passion for their beliefs and values, and Eights are often fascinated by Fours’ creativity and uniqueness.
However, their different communication styles and love languages may lead to very intense clashes. Fours’ open and dramatic emotional expressions and Eights’ no-nonsense attitude don’t fit well and cause many misunderstandings. Moreover, Eights may see Fours as unreliable due to their unpredictable nature and, therefore, become possessive and jealous.
Still, if they manage to create a safe space for expressing mutual vulnerabilities, Fours and Eights may overcome their character differences and inspire the best in one another.
Nines are great partners for Fours in many ways, especially because they offer unconditional love and support to the vulnerable, hypersensitive Fours.
Calm and stable, Nines are the best at calming Fours’ inner turmoils and inspiring their creativity, as they are not afraid of their emotional intensity. In the relationships between Fours and Nines, Nines see Fours as passionate and unique, and their colorful emotional richness inspires them. Both have highly developed empathy, which allows them to build their relationship on mutual understanding.
These two provide each other with emotional support and easily make everyday arrangements. The biggest challenges they face revolve around Nine’s complacency and Four’s need for constant reassurance. Both types tend to avoid conflicts, which may lead to chronic dissatisfaction and misunderstandings.
However, since both are compassionate and understanding, they usually find a way to communicate effectively and build a harmonious relationship. This goes for all kinds of relationships between them.
Discover the ups and downs of love as experienced by Enneagram 4 on our Enneagram 4 memes page!
Regardless of which Enneatype they choose for a partner, you can be sure that when a Four believes the relationship is real, they will give their best to make it work. And if both partners are mature and willing to grow, every combination can be a match made in heaven.
To finish this guide on a high note, let’s review the key insights about Enneagram 4 compatibility:
Want to know more about the compatibility of other Enneagram types? Check out our related posts:
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