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Enneagram 8 Compatibility Secrets Revealed: Full Relationship Guide

26 October 2023

When it comes to relationships, Enneagram Type Eight isn’t someone who’ll just dip their toes in the water; they dive in headfirst, eager to see if their soul fire will be ignited! But that doesn’t mean their heart isn’t well guarded—they are very careful to whom they show their soft side.

For that reason, Enneagram 8 compatibility is a science of its own, and we’ll share it with you! We reveal the most tender parts of Eight’s wild soul, learn the Enneagram 8 love language, and explain the laws of attraction in the Challenger’s world.

What Is Enneagram 8 Like in Love and Relationships?

Enneagram Type Eight seeks intensity and passion in love and relationships. There’s nothing mild or subtle about their feelings—they either love or hate other people, so they don’t accept anything less intense in their love life either.

Challengers need to feel a strong emotional bond with someone, and when they do, they are ready to move mountains for that person.

Their partner also needs to have similar sensual appetites since Eights are very physical in expressing their emotions. And when they find a partner who is just as passionate and sensual as they are, Eights become warm, protective, and devoted as one can only wish for.

Though they seem untouchable and fiercely independent, Eights possess a unique emotional depth and need partners who can handle their intense nature without perceiving their vulnerability as a weakness.

Deep down, Eights are afraid that other people will take advantage of them if they show any sign of weakness. That’s why, despite the fact that they are not shy about expressing their big feelings, they do not show their sensitive side as readily.

Enneagram 8 Compatibility With Other Types

Enneagram 8 compatibility is the highest with those Enneatypes that show them respect and loyalty and that can match the intensity of their feelings. Before we explore each relationship, let’s have a look at this comprehensive Enneagram 8 compatibility chart:

Type 8 and Type 1

Eights and Ones share a strong sense of justice and integrity, which is great for business partnerships but doesn’t say much about their romantic compatibility. Since both are strong personalities who like to control and dominate their environments, it may be a challenge for them to open up to each other emotionally.

However, there is usually a lot of passion between them, and they respect each other’s strengths. Eights admire the consistency and ethical purity of Ones, while Ones are impressed by Eights’ charisma.

Still, Eights need to feel a lot more emotional warmth and support to open up to someone, so they find it hard to be vulnerable with Ones. Ones’ criticism is a huge turn-off for the self-assured Eights, who see it as petty nagging.

So, in general, there’s a lot of potential for great relationships between Eights and Ones, but romance doesn’t develop spontaneously. They both need to work on overcoming their weaknesses if they want to give this connection a chance.

Type 8 and Type 2

A relationship between Eight and Two represents an archetypal union of masculine and feminine principles. Therefore, it is no wonder Eights and Twos feel strong and instant attraction to each other. There’s also the feeling that they’ve known each other forever, even though they’ve just met.

Twos’ stability, emotional depth, support, and profound understanding are exactly what Eights need to finally open up and be vulnerable with someone. Meanwhile, Twos enjoy the protection and passion Eights bring to the table and are happy someone can finally reciprocate their feelings with such strength.

The only potential challenge in this relationship can be Eights’ possessiveness and jealousy, as Twos are very extroverted, and many people love them for different reasons. The Challengers may get overprotective, wanting to have Twos only for themselves.

However, their emotional bond is usually stronger than any challenge they face, and they can build a great future together.

Type 8 and Type 3

Eights and Threes have a lot in common—they are both energetic adventurists who go after what they want. Still, even though they can have a lot of fun together, they may get a bit too competitive, which neither of them needs in a romantic relationship.

How well they will get along depends significantly on the time and context. If they meet each other at the moment when both are mature enough to let their guard down, they may create a very dynamic and fruitful relationship together. Think of the famous power couples where both partners are fascinatingly successful and support each other.

As both are extremely career-focused and neither is willing to put family first, it may be difficult for them to maintain a happy home life even if they manage to put aside their rivalry. For that reason, they are perfect for each other as business partners and friends, while romantic relationships need conscious effort from both sides.

Type 8 and Type 4

Eights and Fours may be attracted to each other as they are both intense characters, but they are motivated by completely different things. Eights want power, status, and control, and Fours couldn’t care less about these things. Therefore, they may be fascinated by each other, but this fascination needs a lot of work to survive the test of reality.

In an ideal situation, Eights may feel encouraged by the Fours’ emotional depth to explore their own vulnerability, and Fours may enjoy the protection and stability that come with Type Eight. But, Eights are usually not inspired to cater to Four’s constant mood swings and expect more consistency in a partner.

On the other hand, an Eight's need to exert dominance can make a Four feel trapped. More importantly, Eights do not have much patience for Fours' introspective pursuits, so a Four is likely to feel misunderstood in such a relationship.

Type 8 and Type 5

Enneagram 8 compatibility with Enneagram 5 is based on mutual respect. It may come as a surprise, but Eights and Fives have many things in common. Both are inquisitive, curious, rational, and analytical, and both are very independent. However, though they admire each other deeply, it takes a lot of time for them to develop romantic feelings.

Even though Eights show plenty of initiative in all their relationships, when it comes to being vulnerable, they will never open up first. And since Fives are not even in contact with their feelings, it may be especially hard for Eights and Fives to develop emotional intimacy.

Moreover, Eights are very sensual and physical in romance, and Fives value intellectual exchange, so they are usually not spontaneously attracted to each other. But, a friendship between them usually flourishes without any special effort, and the same goes for business partnerships.

If you're curious about how Eights and other Enneagram types foster friendships, you can explore our Enneagram friendships post for further insights.

Type 8 and Type 6

Eights and Sixes connect with each other through shared values—through their loyalty and love for one another, they form a special bond. They feel as if they are up against the entire world, but at least they are fighting together. That’s because they have the same fear of being betrayed and often see the world as full of potential threats.

Sixes enjoy the stability and protection Eights bring to them, and Eights show deep and genuine appreciation for Sixes’ unwavering loyalty and commitment. However, due to their overlapping concerns about safety and control, Enneagram 6 and 8 misidentification can sometimes occur, particularly when both types are under stress and exhibit similar protective behaviors.

It does not take long for them to become each other's safe haven, and soon, they are talking about having kids and settling down.

However, since Eights are very domineering and direct in communication and Sixes are very sensitive and conflict-avoidant, they may experience misunderstandings when they are both under stress. Because of this, it is essential for Eights to learn to control their temper and for Sixes to communicate more openly about their needs.

Type 8 and Type 7

With Sevens, Eights feel like they have finally found someone who can follow them in their adventures with the same energy and enthusiasm they have. There’s a lot of electricity in the air when these two get together, and they attract a lot of attention. Sevens’ vivacious spirit is irresistibly attractive to Eights, who willingly take charge in such relationships.

However, since Eights value commitment and loyalty and Sevens are free-spirited social butterflies, these two may easily start the “catch me if you can” game. Eights may, therefore, see Sevens as just another challenge they have to overcome, and Sevens may feel trapped by Eights’ need to be in control.

Plus, it may be particularly hard for them to talk about their feelings since Eights neglect their vulnerability and Sevens avoid dealing with the serious side of life. But if Enneagram 7 and 8 are motivated enough, they could grow together and build an amazing, passionate relationship.

Type 8 and Type 8

Eights pair well with other Eights, primarily because they understand each other perfectly. They are like war buddies who enjoy sharing their battle experiences but are careful enough never to start a war with each other. There’s always the risk of becoming too competitive with each other in such a relationship despite the seamless mutual understanding they instantly have.

As long as their roles in a relationship are structured and they know exactly what they can and can’t expect from each other, two Eights can function well. Both are direct, open, and confrontational, so they will either get along or won’t. If they find a way not to step on each other's toes, they can grow to become a power couple with a lot of influence in their community.

However, when they are young or simply not mature enough, they can get into endless power struggles with one another, constantly fearing that the other one is using or manipulating them. And since both are very intense and aggressive, conflicts between Eights are never subtle.

Type 8 and Type 9

Enneagram 8 compatibility with Enneagram 9 is based on emotional understanding and deep respect. Both Eights and Nines belong to the Enneagram gut triad, which means their core emotion is anger. However, while Eights express it directly, Nines suppress it and try their best to maintain harmony.

For this reason, these two have so much to learn from each other. Nines may teach Eights how to avoid reacting impulsively and personally to everything, and Eights can teach Nines to stand up for themselves more often and show directly what they need. Moreover, the emotional depth of the Nines soothes Eights' deepest fears, and they feel at ease in this relationship.

However, no matter how complementary their energies can be, Enneagram 8 and 9 may occasionally stumble due to their different paces. Eights may overwhelm Nines with their energetic approach, while Nines may irritate Eights with their lack of initiative.

Key Takeaways

There are probably many wonderful suggestions for who an Enneagram 8 should marry, but an Eight would not bother asking this question in the first place! Instead, they would simply go out and figure it out for themselves.

Now that we’ve addressed this issue, let’s conclude this guide with some key insights about Enneagram 8 intimacy needs and compatibility with other Enneatypes:

Enneagram 8s are attracted to passionate, loyal, driven, and emotionally deep personalities.
Enneagram 8 most compatible types are Twos, Sixes, Eights, and Nines. With these types, Eights can get harmony with the least amount of work.
Enneagram 8 worst match is Type Five—not because they create conflicts but because there’s no chemistry between them.

Curious to know in more detail about how different Enneagram types get along? Check out these articles: