Enneagram and Jealousy: How Possessive Is Each Type?

The connection between Enneagram and jealousy allows us to understand the essential needs of each type as well as the nature of this complex and often uncomfortable emotion.

In this article, we’ll use the Enneagram test and theory as a framework to explore how each Enneagram personality type experiences jealousy and related emotions.

The Link Between Enneagram and Jealousy

The link between Enneagram and jealousy is best explained through analyzing Enneagram personality types. But first, let’s see what jealousy is.

Jealousy is defined as a universal feeling people experience when they fear losing someone or something that matters to them or when they feel some kind of insecurity and doubt about their worth. Another critical aspect of jealousy is comparison. People who often experience jealousy tend to compare themselves to others a lot.

In terms of the purpose of jealousy, this emotion helps us understand what is important to us or what we want for ourselves—it signals our unmet needs.

Naturally, everyone experiences jealousy on different levels, for different reasons, and in different situations. Consequently, each of the nine Enneagram types will react to jealousy in their own unique way, and their reactions will reflect their core fears and motivations. Some types may be better at hiding it, but all are equally prone to it.

The Enneagram test doesn’t aim to label any personality type as more or less jealous than others; it merely highlights the role jealousy plays in the internal psychological mechanisms of each type.

Now that we understand jealousy’s role, let's explore how each Enneagram type uniquely experiences and expresses it:

How Each Enneagram Type Experiences and Handles Jealousy

According to the Enneagram test, the reactions of each Enneagram type are mainly driven by their core motivations. So, let’s see what each type’s jealousy is motivated by and how they express and handle it.

Enneagram 1—The Perfectionist

Perfectionists often seem very ambitious and competitive, but not because they compare themselves to others. Motivated by the desire to act the right way and adhere to their moral principles and ethics, they feel an obligation to excel in all their endeavors.

They strive to live ‘perfect’ lives in the sense that they have a perfect family, perfect job, contribute to the community, and never stop working on becoming the best version of themselves.

Enneagram 1 jealousy trigger: When Type One perceives someone as more virtuous than they are, they get jealous. Essentially, they are afraid that they will lose the respect and love of others unless they are the ones who set the example of virtue for everyone.

How Type 1 manages jealousy: Ones are most likely to repress jealousy, push themselves to work harder, and prove that they deserve the unofficial medal for being the most upright person ever.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: Understand that people love you for many reasons, not only because of your high moral standards, ethics, and altruism. Learn to tame your inner critic and give yourself more credit—you’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough to be loved and respected even when you make mistakes.

Enneagram 2—The Helper

Twos’ deepest desire is just to be loved and needed by others, and their childhood experiences taught them that the best way to ensure they are loved is to take care of others. So, they grew up into deep-feeling empaths who find the greatest fulfillment in helping other people.

Enneagram 2 jealousy trigger: Though they act as though they have no expectations of other people, Twos actually hope that their care and affection will be reciprocated. When that doesn’t happen and someone else gets more attention and appreciation than they do, they become very jealous.

How Enneagram 2 manages jealousy: Twos can get very manipulative and vindictive. They may punish the person they are jealous of in many passive-aggressive ways, by guilt-tripping them, and playing the victim. Sugarcoated but resentful comments also indicate strong jealousy in Twos.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: Ask directly for the recognition and appreciation you crave. The attention you get by asking for it directly is just as valuable as the attention others give you spontaneously. Be assertive about your needs, and jealousy will naturally fade away.

Enneagram 3—The Achiever

The competitive Threes see life as an eternal sports match in which victory is more important than anything else. Energetic and ambitious, they long to be recognized as successful and place a high value on status and public image.

Enneagram 3 jealousy trigger: There’s nothing that makes Threes feel worse than being outperformed and overshadowed by others. They hate being number 2, even in areas they are not genuinely interested in.

How Enneagram 3 manages jealousy: Threes become very envious of others’ achievements and react by being more competitive and pushing themselves to work harder. They may resort to unjust means to achieve success just to ensure their public image of being the best.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: You have to develop an internal validation system and slowly let go of your dependence on external approval. Otherwise, you’ll never feel good enough, as there will always be someone new you have to defeat to feel good about yourself.

Enneagram 4—The Individualist

Fours are deeply driven by a desire to explore their identity and express their uniqueness. They value authenticity, creativity, and emotional depth. The way they learned to earn love is through being perceived as special, one of a kind, exquisitely talented, and different from others in some way.

Jealousy trigger: The Individualist struggles with an inferiority complex and often perceives themself as inherently flawed in some way. For this reason, they quickly get envious and jealous of anyone who seems to lack the same flaws. On top of it, they are mainly triggered when someone gets recognition for being creative and special.

How Enneagram 4 manages jealousy: When jealous, Fours get extremely insecure, moody, and unpredictable. They may act desperately at one point and then lash out at others for no apparent reason.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: Your value isn’t defined by how unique, special, and creative you are or how others perceive you. You are the one who defines your value based on who you are as a person, not on what you achieve. Learn to love yourself unconditionally and avoid comparing yourself to others.

Enneagram 5—The Investigator

The Investigator is motivated by a desire to learn about the world, expand their knowledge, and protect their autonomy. Their biggest concern is to ensure they are competent enough so they don’t ever have to ask for help from anyone. For this reason, they focus on building their expertise in matters they find meaningful.

Jealousy trigger: Fives generally detach from their feelings, and since jealousy is intense, they avoid it as much as possible. However, when they perceive someone is intellectually superior or more competent than they are, they feel envious.

How Enneagram 5 manages jealousy: They might downplay others’ accomplishments, justifying why they aren’t as important. Eventually, they withdraw and avoid contact with people and situations that trigger jealousy in them.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: Reframe your perspective of intellectual superiority. Rather than viewing others as threats, consider them opportunities to gain new insights, broaden your understanding, and learn through engagement instead of steering clear of triggers.

Enneagram 6—The Loyalist

Sixes are focused on feeling safe and protected. They fear the unpredictability of life so they do everything in their power to make the future as certain as possible, and this means making at least one plan for everything they do. They also rely on the connection and support from their community, and a sense of belonging is very important to them.

Enneagram 6 jealousy triggers: The biggest jealousy trigger for Sixes is feeling replaced or excluded in their relationships and important groups.

How Enneagram 6 manages jealousy: They become overwhelmed with anxiety, and their chronic insecurities emerge on the surface. Craving external validation, they become clingy and overly dependent on others.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: Focus on strengthening your sense of self-esteem by fostering self-love and working on your self-confidence. No amount of external validation can replace healthy self-awareness, and the more self-aware you are, the less susceptible to jealousy you get.

Enneagram 7—The Enthusiast

The Enthusiast has an insatiable desire for freedom and new experiences. They see life as a carnival full of new possibilities and want to explore them all. Having fun and joy is their biggest motivation, while they fear being unhappy, lacking stimulation, and being denied their freedom and autonomy.

Enneagram 7 jealousy trigger: Sevens have a chronic fear of missing out (FOMO), and they are jealous of people who seem to have more fun and pleasure in life than they do.

How Enneagram 7 manages jealousy: They may overextend themselves trying to keep up the pace with those they envy. Jealousy motivates them to pursue new stimulating experiences and to make up for what they feel they are missing out on.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: Practice mindfulness to remain grounded in the present moment and learn to appreciate what you have more than what you don’t have.

Enneagram 8—The Challenger

Eights are a bold and domineering personality type, driven by a desire for control and power. They want to be in charge of their own destiny and aspire to positions of authority since the more influence they have, the better they feel about themselves.

Enneagram 8 jealousy triggers: Eights experience intense jealousy whenever they meet someone who has more power, influence, and higher status than they have. They are also very jealous and possessive in romantic relationships.

How Enneagram 8 manages jealousy: Jealous Eights can be very dangerous. They quickly become aggressive, offensive, and vindictive, acting like they are more entitled than anyone else to have exactly what they want in life and dismissing others’ feelings along the way.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: Acknowledge that there will always be someone more powerful than you and that others’ power doesn’t diminish yours or has to threaten you in any way. Recognize the opportunity for learning and growth by collaborating with those more powerful than you.

Enneagram 9—The Peacemaker

Nines’ core motivation revolves around living in comfort and harmony and being at peace with themselves and others. They center their lives around their connections with others, and a sense of belonging to the community is very important to them.

Enneagram 9 jealousy trigger: Jealousy in Nines is mainly triggered by their fear of abandonment, so they envy people who seem to be more included or valued than they are.

How Enneagram 9 manages jealousy: Nines may resort to their people-pleasing patterns, hoping that by catering to others’ needs, they will be more important and feel less invisible.

Enneagram and jealousy tip: The key to overcoming jealousy for you is learning to assert your needs and communicate your fears openly with others.

Discover Your Deepest Desires!

Are you curious about the inner forces that shape your personality? Take our free Enneagram test and explore your inner psychological landscape to discover what makes you truly happy and how to achieve success in every aspect of your life! Level up your emotional awareness with the Enneagram!

Key Takeaways

We hope this exploration of the Enneagram and jealousy inspired you to learn more about your personality type and take a new perspective on jealousy as a universal emotion. That said, let’s conclude with some key insights from the article:

• Understanding how Enneagram affects jealousy allows for a more thorough insight into each type’s core fears and desires.
• By exploring Enneagram types jealousy triggers, you can gain insight into why certain situations or behaviors make you feel threatened or inadequate.
• Recognizing Enneagram jealousy patterns can help you break free from destructive cycles and build more fulfilling relationships.

Enneagram and Jealousy FAQ