25 May 2023
What many wonder about Enneagram 9 is why would someone who has the power of a hurricane behave like a gentle spring breeze. Apart from the quiet stamina the Enneagram Nine personality radiates, there’s also a subtle element of mystery to their characters.
Not many people can understand the strengths hidden behind the Nine’s gentle smile. That’s why this eBook will help you discover what drives the Peacemakers, what they yearn for, and how they became so influential yet agreeable.
Relaxed, easy-going, and open-minded, Nines truly love and accept people with all their flaws and virtues. They have a deep need for harmony, so they usually assume the role of mediator and intuitively soothe conflicts and differences in their surroundings.
They have a strong yet subtle presence and an overall protective attitude. Even though they do not crave any particular attention, they are still usually very popular with people because of their high interpersonal intelligence and deeply supportive nature.
The Nine’s need to uphold peace and harmony at all costs typically originates from their childhood, when they had to intervene in the conflicts between their parents and siblings. For the same reason, they were probably a wise, extraordinarily mature kid who never gave their parents any trouble.
However, despite their deep concern for others, Nines tend to keep their affairs to themselves. This is because they believe others have enough of their own problems and don’t want to burden anyone.
For this reason, they often seem like they don’t have any care in this world. It's just their way of dealing with their personal issues, but other, more perceptive or suspicious people may perceive Nines as mysterious.
Finally, one of the Nines’ most distinguished traits is their appreciation of beauty in every sense. Regardless of their education, they will develop a refined taste and are usually capable of recognizing quality art pieces, literature, music, and performances. Their connection with art is simply deep and innate.
Nines get along well with others, regardless of the situation. Because they can make everyone feel understood and accepted, they usually find partners easily and are attractive to many different types. Moreover, Nines enjoy being in relationships and usually take care everyone’s needs are met, including their own.
The idealism and drive of Ones inspire Nines to live up to their full potential. Both types feel the need to make the world a better place, and both are willing to self-sacrifice and work hard for their goals. While Nines do that through interpersonal relationships, Ones have a more organized approach.
Nines need the clarity and leadership of Ones to become aware of their own talents and put them into action. On the other hand, the Ones' most painful weaknesses can be healed by the unconditional love that the Nines have to offer.
Nines find everything that they usually provide to others in Twos. So, in a relationship with a Two, Nine finally gets to experience what it's like to be truly accepted and loved without conditions.
The warmth and honesty of Twos relieve Nines from the need to prevent or mediate conflicts, so these two have excellent communication. Together, they make great parents and often assume such a role as a couple in their community.
Fives are focused on learning, intellectually hyperactive, and always open for discussion on topics they find inspiring. On the other hand, Nines avoid all kinds of discussions, as they fear they may lead to conflicts. So, the communication between these two types may be very challenging, as they will both find it hard to understand each other, let alone connect emotionally.
Eights are intense, domineering, and very confrontational, all of which are very challenging traits for a Nine, who just wants everyone to get along and be happy. Eights’ drive and ambition are exhausting for them and make them withdraw from this relationship.
Each Enneagram type can display the influences of two other types that surround it on the Enneagram circumference. Those two adjacent types are called Enneagram wings. Having this in mind, we can conclude that the Enneagram 9 personality type can have either a One or an Eight wing.
Enneagram 9 wing 1 is more introverted and serious than a typical Nine. The One wing enhances the idealistic and altruistic tendencies in Nines but also makes them more aware of their purpose. Therefore, 9w1 is more driven and ambitious.
However, they are not interested in social status or recognition. These humble and hardworking people are ready to fight selflessly for the betterment of their community. They readily use their conflict management skills and empathy to inspire others to join them on their mission.
Enneagram 9 personality type with an Eight wing is more assertive, outspoken, and not so ready to relieve every conflict. Thanks to the influence of Eight, Nine becomes more aware of their own needs and opinions. While they still have all the wisdom, empathy, and mediation skills like other Nines, a 9w8 is more selective of how and when they will use them.
These people will also be more active, social, and in tune with reality than core Nines. Since both Nines and Eights belong to the gut or body triad of the Enneagram, 9w8s are often endowed with exceptional physical strength.
The Enneagram 9 personality type has a deep, innate need for harmony. Therefore, they typically develop an array of skills that help them satisfy this need. Yet, striving for harmony at all costs also explains many of their greatest weaknesses.
Since they are more oriented toward satisfying the needs of others than their own, many of the Nines’ most beautiful strengths stay hidden until someone or something causes them to surface.
With that in mind, here’s a brief overview of Nines’ most pronounced virtues:
Most of Nines’ weaknesses are not obvious or known even to people who know Nines really well. With that in mind, here are some of their most important shortcomings:
Peacemakers, or "gentle giants" as some people call them, have a very refined and delicate emotional structure that is hidden by their often simple and strong appearance. Therefore, although they seem relaxed and calm, their core fears rarely leave them. As for their desires, they are very modest, so it is safe to say that Nines are truly unpretentious people.
Nines are usually highly aware of the fears that motivate their behavior, which does not mean they are willing to face them. They are mainly afraid of:
Nines are quiet, but they don't give up and are very determined to get what they really want, which is often harder than it seems at first. Their core desires include:
Nines are generally resilient and highly resistant to stress. That’s because they usually grew up in an atmosphere saturated with conflicts, so they learned to cope with it early on. However, some situations are still very triggering for them and push them into a state of stress.
When they feel they have failed their loved ones, they get depressed and lose all their motivation. Since they tend to judge themselves by how much they do for others, this kind of situation may also cause them to feel self-hatred and despise. For this reason, they may also engage in futile, self-destructive behaviors, becoming indolent and uninterested.
Even though they are great at mediating conflicts, Nines become anxious, worried, and scattered when there are too many disputes around them, and their capacity to resolve them is drained. Conflicts feel deeply threatening for Peacemakers, and if they can’t tackle them, their deepest fears surface and take the best of them.
Another source of stress comes from their tendency to withdraw and avoid asking for help when they face personal issues. Therefore, negative feelings may build up, and since they don’t express themselves in any way, these may surface in the form of depressive reactions.
Enneagram 9 relationships are usually stable and long-term since this type does not like turbulence in any area of their lives. They look for steadiness, tenderness, and stability and usually assume the role of the crown behind the throne in their relationships.
Though soft and even-tempered, Nines hide a volcano of passion underneath and deeply enjoy the sensual aspects of relationships. Imaginative and open-minded, they often acquire many different love experiences in their youth.
When they are young, they may also tend to get absorbed by stronger, more domineering personalities and lose themselves in the relationship. However, as they mature, they learn more about their boundaries and become more selective about who they will be loyal to.
Nines have a hard time saying "no" and have a strong need to solve any conflict. Because of this, it is very important for them to know when their own needs are not being met so they don't get exploited or manipulated in a relationship.
Nines prefer to work in a well-structured, slow-paced environment where they have enough space to bond genuinely with others. They naturally gravitate toward taking on roles as helpers and conflict-solvers because doing so gives them a sense of empowerment.
Working in a highly stressful, profit-oriented atmosphere makes Nines deprived. If they feel they can’t contribute by making the world a bit better, they can’t find the motivation to do the job and tend to detach, procrastinate, and just go through the motions without investing themselves at all.
Enneagram 9 careers are typically those that demand empathy, interpersonal skills, and objectivity. They can easily see a problem from different points of view and often come up with creative solutions because of this.
Since they are often artistically gifted and very creative, they often become talented artists, as well as art curators. Their minds are very reflective, and they can learn a lot about the things that interest them. Because of this, they make very inspiring teachers and professors.
The best career matches for Enneagram type 9 are:
The worst choices for a Nine are typically in the fields of sales, finance, military, marketing, and similar. That's because those kinds of careers are all about profitability or enforcing law and order, and Nines couldn't care less about that.
With that in mind, the worst career matches for Enneagram Type 9 are:
Every Enneagram type evolves and grows through different experiences. When these things don't go beyond the type's ability to deal with them, they naturally grow into their best selves. If the experiences are too challenging, every type will display more of their weaknesses than their strengths in their behavior.
A healthy Enneagram 9 is self-aware, content, and fulfilled and does not feel the compulsive need to pleaseothers. Therefore, they get more enjoyment from their profound and mutually beneficial relationships with others.
Their profound empathy for others and awareness of their own strengths enable them to feel secure in this world and find the bright side of every circumstance. They are alive, present, and agile, always there to lend an ear to others without compromising their personal boundaries.
At an average level, Type Nine feels obliged to conform to the demands of the majority and tends to avoid conflicts. Easygoing and complacent, they use different philosophical theories to justify their lack of attachment and tendency to conform.
In an attempt to lead quiet and undisturbed lives, they become creatures of habit and easily lose their creative spark. They often find themselves saying yes to things when they would rather say no, so they also tend to withdraw and isolate instead of just saying no directly.
Generally, they go with the flow, keep the steady jobs they don’t like, hang out with people they don’t particularly like, lacking the nerve to step out and find out what they really need.
Unhealthy Nines tend to dissociate and distance themselves from other people in order to avoid the harsh reality. They become preoccupied with keeping their illusion and therefore engage in escapist behaviors. Their attitude toward life is passive, and they feel that it is futile to try anything to make the situation better.
Overwhelmed with their fears, they numb themselves, become indolent, and completely lose direction and purpose. Their sense of self becomes shattered and fragmented, and they may, at their worst, develop delusional disorders.
The major lesson for Enneagram 9 personality type is to accept their own anger and learn to use it constructively instead of repressing it. If you are a Peacemaker, here are some tips that will help you grow:
Since Nines offer keen understanding to everyone, we hope this eBook helps more people understand them, too. They surely deserve it! Before you start exploring other Enneagram types, let’s just briefly recap Nine's core traits:
Nines need to learn to acknowledge and constructively express their anger and not suppress it and act as if they never feel it.