Enneagram and Self-Esteem Development: Insights and Tips

2 January 2025

enneagram and self esteem development

Enneagram and self-esteem development are closely intertwined since the Enneagram is primarily designed as a personal growth tool and, as such, naturally supports self-esteem development. Moreover, the Enneagram framework encourages self-exploration, thus helping you understand yourself better and build a healthy sense of self-worth.

This article will analyze the development of self-esteem for each Enneagram type and provide practical advice for cultivating healthy self-confidence. Let’s jump right into it!

Understanding Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Self-esteem is connected with your inner value system and refers to the way you perceive yourself as a human being. It depends on the values you internalized through upbringing, culture, interactions with your peer groups, and your inner sense of self.

Meanwhile, self-confidence is related to your abilities and performances—not to who you are as a person, but to what you can do. Though they are related, self-esteem and self-confidence are dependent on distinct facets of an individual's character.

While it is relatively easy to build self-confidence through accomplishing goals in various domains, developing self-esteem is trickier. It calls for reflection and awareness of one's own values and the ways in which external factors shape them. As our self-image depends on self-esteem and confidence, we must develop both.

In addition, since a positive self-image is associated with enhanced stress resilience and adaptability, people who possess healthy self-esteem and self-confidence are better prepared to tackle life's obstacles than those who struggle with either.

Enneagram Types and Strategies for Building Confidence

A woman sitting on a concrete wall

Now that you’re properly acquainted with the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence, let’s analyze the Enneagram and self-esteem development strategies for each personality type.

Type 1—The Perfectionist

Ones are generally self-confident, but they struggle to accept and overcome their mistakes because their self-esteem is built around the premise that only by performing perfectly can they deserve respect and love.

Challenges: Silencing their inner critic, embracing imperfection, and moving past their mistakes is the biggest challenge for any Perfectionist. They are not aware of how unfair and damaging their constant self-criticism is.

Growth: Giving up on perfection, focusing on the process instead of results and solutions, and taking mistakes as lessons and not as final verdicts of their worth or competence is essential for One to grow.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Cultivate self-compassion, celebrate small victories, and engage in endeavors that demand creativity, not precision. This will help you loosen up rigid thought patterns and decrease self-criticism. Whenever you catch yourself being critical, take a moment to write a compliment that emphasizes your positive qualities.

Type 2—The Helper

Twos typically do not have the opportunity to cultivate healthy self-confidence in their primary setting and often need to put in extra effort to overcome low self-esteem.

Challenges: Twos’s self-esteem entirely depends on external approval and their ability to meet others’ needs, neglecting their own along the way. They grapple with feeling insufficient and less worthy whenever their efforts go unrecognized, when they don’t feel needed, or fail to make others happy.

Growth: Separating their sense of self-worth from their ability to meet others’ needs is the crucial step to building healthy self-esteem. Recognizing their inherent value as a person, independent of others, and cultivating healthy boundaries will prevent them from losing themselves in people-pleasing.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Focus on your own dreams, pursue your interests, and develop your talents instead of supporting others in their endeavors. Seek support instead of providing it for a change. Notice if you feel guilty when you commit to your own goals and analyze the origins of this guilt to release it.

Type 3—The Achiever

Threes typically seem way more confident than they actually are. In fact, their self-confidence is often strong, but their self-esteem hangs on by a thread.

Challenges: Threes measure worth through their achievements, so each time they fail at something, their sense of self-worth is profoundly shaken, and they feel deeply inadequate. They are entirely dependent on external validation.

Growth: Understanding that achievements don’t define anyone’s worth as a person and that there are plenty of other things that make them valuable and deserving of love and respect is the key to personal growth for Threes.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Reflect on your inner value system. Notice what makes you feel good rather than focusing on pursuing public image and recognition. You’re the only person whose validation you really need.

Type 4—The Individualist

A man celebrating - enneagram and self esteem development

Fours are deeply motivated to explore their inner value systems and establish their self-worth based on their insights. However, since they identify with their emotions, their self-esteem is fluid and unstable.

Challenges: One of Four’s biggest struggles is getting over their belief that they are fundamentally flawed, which causes them to constantly compare themselves to others and feel unworthy. Constant comparisons trigger negative feelings like jealousy and have a devastating effect on their self-esteem.

Growth: Get in touch with people, seek out emotional support, and embrace emotional closeness. This will allow you to understand that you share more than you think with others, thus decreasing the feeling of loneliness and isolation.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Focus on your qualities, notice your negative self-talk, and reframe it. Each time you enter the self-demeaning loop, stop, take a breath, and write down the negative thoughts. Once you get them out of your system, you’ll be able to see how unrealistic and unfair they are.

Type 5—The Investigator

Five’s sense of self-esteem is directly connected to the level of independence they can achieve, while their self-confidence relies on their competence.

Challenge: Fives tend to avoid anything that pulls them out of their comfort zone, missing important opportunities for personal growth.

Growth: Taking calculated risks, trying out new hobbies, and connecting with others over shared interests can catalyze personal growth.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Seek the support of loved ones instead of withdrawing when you feel vulnerable. Confidence and healthy self-esteem can be developed through increasing emotional awareness and fostering stronger relationships with others.

Type 6—The Loyalist

Loyalists are emotionally fragile, and building healthy self-esteem and confidence is one of the most important Enneagram tasks for them. If you wonder which Enneagram is the most insecure, the answer could easily be Sixes. Prone to anxiety, they crave security and reassurance from the outside world since they don’t feel it within.

Challenge: Facing new environments, meeting new people, and dealing with unforeseen events is deeply triggering for Sixes and makes them worried and anxious.

Growth: Learning to rely on themselves instead of seeking security in other people, traditions, and systems is essential for Sixes to grow and mature. Reducing dependency on external approval and strengthening self-awareness is the key to healthy self-esteem for this personality type.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Practice self-reliance through making small independent decisions, become aware of catastrophizing thought patterns, and challenge them by focusing on your inherent capacity and past successes.

Type 7—The Enthusiast

Sevens generally feel good in their own skin and have a positive self-image. However, their lack of emotional regulation skills occasionally makes them feel insecure and may destabilize their sense of self-esteem and self-confidence.

Challenge: Sevens easily feel overwhelmed in emotionally complex situations and tend to avoid them at all costs. However, avoiding discomfort and unpleasant feelings can lead to missed opportunities for personal development and, over time, may result in decreased self-confidence.

Growth: Developing emotional resilience and working on improving emotional intelligence is the path to growth for Sevens. It is crucial for them to gradually expose themselves to different levels of discomfort to increase their frustration tolerance.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Focus on meaningful experiences instead of chasing shallow thrills. Foster close emotional connections and stay committed even when things don’t feel light and easy. Your self-esteem will grow as your emotional competence grows.

Type 8—The Challenger

A woman posing in a car - enneagram and self esteem development

Eights are one of the most self-assured Enneagram types, and they usually have a very strong and healthy sense of self-esteem. Nevertheless, they struggle with vulnerability and may feel insecure when feeling emotionally exposed.

Challenges: The biggest challenge for Eights is to avoid reacting when they feel triggered. They easily become aggressive and defensive when they feel insecure and push others away.

Growth: Learning that vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness but of strength, fostering self-compassion, and connecting with others can profoundly change Eight’s self-perception.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Share your feelings with those you feel you can rely on, practice vulnerability in safe surroundings, and reflect on such emotional exchanges. Accept support and notice how it makes you feel and how it affects your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Type 9—The Peacemaker

Similar to Type Two, Type Nine also struggles with self-esteem because they focus on other people’s needs. As a result, they neglect their own needs, talents, and desires and end up feeling confused and insecure about their role and purpose.

Challenge: Speaking up even when that may cause conflict and staying true to themselves feels terrifying for Nines, yet it is essential for their growth. Although these delicate types find mediating the disputes of others to be easy, dealing with their own conflicts presents a true challenge to their self-assurance.

Growth: Developing self-esteem for Nines comes through developing emotional self-awareness, fostering assertive behavior, and practicing self-care.

Enneagram and self-esteem development tips: Set tangible, realistic goals, track your progress, and stay committed despite occasional lack of motivation. Celebrate every accomplishment and reflect on the qualities and abilities you developed or refined along the way.

The Enneagram as a Tool for Growth

Enneagram is a personality theory based on ancient wisdom, contemporary psychology, and modern philosophy, offering a holistic view of the inner psychological drives that shape an individual's character. It is primarily designed as a tool for self-discovery and, as such, encourages self-exploration and introspection.

Furthermore, it is a very prolific and inspiring personal growth tool because it offers a complete insight into every important aspect of one’s personality.

The descriptions of each personality type, along with their underlying motivations, fears, strengths, weaknesses, and typical patterns of thought and emotion, help you become more self-aware and identify areas for improvement.

The Enneagram also offers insights into your compatibility with other Enneagram types, your communication styles, and your relationship needs, thus helping you build healthier connections and support systems.

So, by determining your Enneagram personality type, you not only get a complete, detailed overview of your psychological profile but also an integrative Enneagram roadmap for personal growth.

Create a Personalized Self-Esteem Development Plan

Use our free Enneagram test to identify your strengths and weaknesses, create a personalized self-esteem and confidence development plan, and unlock your full potential.

Final Thoughts

The most important insight you get from exploring Enneagram and self-esteem development is that you have the power to change and improve every aspect of your life.

With that in mind, let’s round off with the key insights about Enneagram self-esteem:

  • Enneagram empowers you to take control of your reactions, become aware of your psychological blind spots and repeated, trapped cycles of automatic responses, and make more conscious decisions.
  • By helping you recognize your unhealthy thought patterns, the Enneagram enables you to change them, thus enhancing and fostering healthy self-esteem.

By delving into your deepest fears, the Enneagram equips you with the knowledge and skills to conquer them, empowering you to cultivate greater self-assurance.