Types of Empathy: Are You As Empathetic as You Think?

Despite the fact that empathy is a universal feeling, many people don’t know that there are three different types of empathy. Understanding all three types allows us to understand others on a much deeper level and connect with them in a more authentic way.

In this article, we’ll explain the different kinds of empathy, explore whether compassion can be learned, and analyze the emotional capacity of Enneagram types in regard to it.

Let’s dive in!

The 3 Types of Empathy: Which One Do You Use the Most?

The three types of empathy can also be considered the three elements of mature, fully developed empathy since all three of them are needed for understanding other people completely. Moreover, neither of the types is more important than the other, but all three have equally important roles in our emotional development and connection with others.

So, let’s analyze the three types of empathy in detail:

#1. Cognitive Empathy

Cognitive empathy is a type of empathy that refers to our ability to rationally understand what someone is experiencing without engaging ourselves emotionally. It is the most basic type of empathy and an integral part of social etiquette.

For example, it is expected of you to act seriously and politely at the funeral of your distant cousin whom you have never met. Obviously, you can’t miss someone who you have never met, so it is very unlikely that you’ll be experiencing deep feelings about this situation.

Still, on a rational, intellectual level, you understand that losing someone who belongs to your family comes with significant emotional turmoil for some of your family members, though you don’t feel much personal involvement about the issue. Nevertheless, you’ll act kindly and considerately, showing (cognitive) empathy for others.

So, cognitive empathy is a sign of being well-raised and adapted to societal expectations. Therefore, it doesn’t come as a surprise that this is the most widespread type of empathy that almost everyone is capable of.

#2. Emotional Empathy

Emotional empathy refers to our subconscious, often automatic, physical, and physiological reactions to other people's emotions and situations. It is an innate human characteristic to intuitively react to other’s distressing emotions, and most people also have this type of empathy naturally.

When you, for example, react with fear and pain just by seeing someone twisting their ankle, regardless of whether the person is familiar to you, you’re experiencing emotional empathy. The same happens when you cry just because of seeing someone else cry before you even know the reasons for their tears.

Emotional empathy is imprinted in our limbic systems and is most often experienced through physical reactions and sensations. It’s when you react like other people’s emotions are contagious, and you get contaminated just by witnessing them.

#3. Compassionate Empathy

Compassionate empathy is a type of empathy that is more than understanding what the other person is going through and more than feeling their emotions. It integrates our intellectual and emotional capacity and propels us to take action and help the other person by offering comfort or practical support.

Moreover, compassionate empathy represents a fine balance between cognitive and emotional empathy and is the fuel of human connections.

3 Benefits of Cultivating Different Types of Empathy

The benefits of cultivating different types of empathy are felt indirectly through improved communication and a more stable sense of inner peace. In addition, it is particularly important to cultivate empathy in relationships that are the most significant for us, as empathy is the key to emotional intimacy.

So, let’s list some of the most prominent benefits of developing empathy:

#1. Deeper Emotional Connections

Empathy is the key remedy to feeling lonely and isolated because it allows connecting with others on an intuitive, basic human level.

The cognitive type of empathy fosters our sense of belonging to a certain community by inspiring us to behave in ways that are accepted and desirable and to respect the social code. Emotional empathy reminds us that we are all equally vulnerable regardless of our experiences.

It plays a particularly important role in the relationship between parents and children as it allows parents to adapt their reactions to the child’s experience of the world. Meanwhile, compassionate empathy leads to cultivating healthy, deep connections.

#2. Improved Emotional Intelligence

By allowing ourselves to feel what others feel, and by examining our reactions and investing an effort to understand others’ needs, we’re actually becoming more aware of our own emotions and needs.

So, the importance of empathy overcomes its role in connecting people—it’s the key to personal growth and psychological maturity.

Being able to understand other’s actions and reactions fosters a sense of inner security as the world becomes a more predictable place when we understand the feelings behind people’s behaviors. Simply put, empathy is the main pillar of emotional intelligence.

In addition, it is a well-known fact how important empathy in leadership is as research has proven that empathetic leaders are more efficient and achieve better outcomes.

#3. Improved Communication Skills

Understanding how other people feel, behave, and react allows us to modify our own reactions and choose the right words to support connection without causing unnecessary conflict. Moreover, the emotional type of empathy allows us to bond even with people who are entirely different from us, while compassionate empathy propels us to foster those bonds and grow from them.

What Are Other Types of Empathy?

While there are three main types of empathy, some authors name more specific types that can be considered subtypes of the three main ones. Let’s review the most common ones:

• Affective empathy—This is just a different name for emotional empathy. Affective empathy refers to the same experience that we have with emotional empathy.
• Somatic empathy—This can be considered a different name for emotional empathy or a form of it that refers to a more unconscious experience of empathy, to automatic reactions that we have when we see highly emotionally triggering events.
• Evaluative empathy—A form of cognitive empathy that refers to our ability to evaluate the situation and emotions of another person adequately.
• Perceptual empathy is also a form of cognitive empathy that refers to our ability to read the situation and understand the context.

How Types of Empathy Relate to Enneagram Types

How types of empathy relate to Enneagram types and the connections between Enneagram and empathy are well described within the Enneagram test and theory.

Moreover, the Enneagram test and theory offer a holistic approach to understanding personality and describe each Enneagram type through their core motivations and typical emotional, thought, and behavior patterns. So, based on how these types are explained, we can have a thorough insight into each of their capacity for empathy.

#1. Enneagram Type Two

For example, Type Two is known for their exceptional intuition, ability to read other people’s needs, and readiness to help others at all times. This indicates they have a highly developed compassionate empathy.

#2. Enneagram Type Nine

Nines take the second spot when it comes to compassionate empathy, and they are closely followed by Fours and Sixes. However, Fours tend to get consumed by their own feelings and may occasionally be too self-centered to empathize fully with others, whereas Sixes may be too preoccupied with their fears.

#3. Enneagram Type One

Ones are also deeply empathetic, but their strong inner critic often limits their ability to show their compassion openly and makes them highly selective of what they identify as worthy of empathy.

Other Enneagram Types

Threes, Sevens, and Eights usually have strong emotional empathy and need to work on developing compassionate empathy. Meanwhile, Fives are a typical example of highly developed cognitive empathy and usually struggle with compassionate empathy since they detach from feelings in general.

In addition, it is important to understand that having a strong Enneagram wing can significantly shape the way an Enneagram personality type feels and expresses empathy. For example, Enneagram Type Eight with a Nine wing (8w9) will be more empathetic than an Eight with a Seven wing (8w7).

Can You Have Too Much Empathy?

Yes, you can have too much empathy, and you can also have too little empathy. In fact, hypersensitive people are often extremely empathetic because they feel things more deeply than other people. For them, it feels impossible not to react when someone is experiencing hardship of any kind, and they are often deeply inspired to help others.

Sometimes, kids who grow up in families where they have to take care of their parents in an emotional sense become highly attuned to other’s emotions and excel at reading others’ needs.

That’s because, for them, heightened empathy is a survival mechanism and the only thing that allows them to keep the connection with their caregivers, as they wouldn’t get care or attention in any other way.

Since constantly empathizing with others can be exhausting, hypersensitive people and empaths often try to become less sensitive. However, the biggest challenge for these people isn’t to feel less but to establish personal boundaries.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the spectrum are the people who lack empathy and who can be inclined to a range of personality disorders, most often sociopathy and narcissism. These people usually have well-developed cognitive empathy, while emotional and compassionate empathy are severely underdeveloped.

In addition, some studies also suggest a link between empathy and autism, indicating that autism might imply a deficit of empathy.

How to Develop Empathy: 3 Practical Tips

Developing empathy skills is the key to happiness in personal relationships and unlocking our full potential for success in life, leadership abilities, and social interconnectedness. With that in mind, here are the three essential practical tips for developing empathy:

#1. Allow Yourself to Feel All Your Emotions

Blocking certain types of emotions not only jeopardizes our mental health but also severely impairs our ability to empathize. When we don’t allow ourselves to feel specific feelings, we lose touch with them and fail to process them adequately.

Since we don’t process them, we begin to struggle to recognize them. Furthermore, the lack of ability to recognize and name emotions can lead to alexithymia, which is closely connected with empathy.

More importantly, we tend to instinctively judge those people who allow themselves to feel these feelings that we block in ourselves. So, the first step in developing empathy is allowing yourself to feel everything, as that’s the only way to be fully self-aware and grow.

From that place of personal acceptance and self-understanding, empathy feels like the most natural thing in the world, as it should be.

#2. Learn Active Listening

Although it may sound easy, active listening is not a simple skill to develop. It requires you to immerse yourself fully in the conversation with the other person without interfering with what they have to say.

It is the ability to focus not only on the other person’s words but also on the way they are telling their story. With that being said, active listening doesn’t mean you need to stay silent the whole time. On the contrary, it is essential that you ask questions to check if you understand the other person well.

#3. Abstain from Judgment and Criticism

How do you feel when someone judges you? Certainly not ready to open up and share your emotions. That is why judgment and criticism are the least useful in building relationships with others and the biggest enemies of empathy.

So, each time you feel the urge to judge someone, hold still and think about what triggered you to react that way and what you could achieve with judgment and criticism apart from distancing from the other person.

How Empathetic Are You?

How deeply can you understand other people?

How well do you know yourself?

Enneagram will help you identify your key strengths and weaknesses, unlock your hidden talents, and connect with others on another level! Start your self-exploration adventure today—take our free Enneagram test and embark on the journey of self-discovery!

Key Takeaways

So, we hope this article improved your understanding of empathy and encouraged you to keep exploring your personality type.

In addition, it is important to know that we are all unique, and we all express empathy in different ways. Some people can have highly developed empathy yet show it only in specific situations, while others may seem very compassionate while lacking the ability to understand others fully.

If we don’t feel comfortable showing feelings in general, chances are we won’t feel comfortable showing empathy either, despite feeling it.

Nevertheless, you can never be wrong by working on developing your capacity for empathy and understanding of others!

Types of Empathy FAQ