Enneagram Type 3: Finding Love & Compatibility Insights

For an Enneagram Type Three, everything is a task on a list, a goal they have to achieve to amaze the world and show how great they are. So, what kind of role does love play in their lives?

What are the rules of Enneagram 3 compatibility, which Enneatypes can fit their super busy everyday routine, and is there any room for romance at all? Is love just one more task they have to tick off to earn the social approval they crave?

Join us as we explore the Enneagram 3 compatibility with other Enneagram types and their emotional needs in all kinds of relationships!

Enneagram Type 3 in Love and Relationships

Enneagram Type 3 has high criteria for love and relationships. Their partners and friends have to fit their social standards and aspirations, as public image is very important to them. This usually means they have to look a certain way and be as successful as they imagine themselves to be.

However, this doesn’t mean Threes would accept a relationship with just anyone solely for the purpose of fostering their public image. They need to feel passion, sizzling chemistry, excitement, and all the rush that comes with falling in love. The thing is, though, that they are not very likely to feel these things for anyone who doesn’t match their social agenda.

When they are young, Threes are often more concerned with how their relationship looks than how it feels. As they mature, they learn to appreciate the partners who encourage them to be more authentic and self-accepting.

Enneagram 3 Compatibility with Every Enneagram Type

Enneagram 3 compatibility with other Enneagram types is largely based on Three’s instinctual reactions. For instance, an Enneagram 3 female may find herself navigating relationships by balancing her ambitions and emotional connections. Though Threes belong to the Enneagram heart triad, they are different from other heart types in the sense that they neglect their emotions and prefer to rely on their instincts in choosing a partner.

This tendency can often be observed even in Enneagram 3 children, who might show early signs of focusing on achievement over emotional expression.

Before we jump to exploring Enneagram 3 compatibility with every type, here’s a comprehensive table to get started:

Type 3 and Type 1

Type 3 and Type 1 compatibility is based on the respect they have for each other’s achievements and shared ambitions. However, though they may have a similar drive, their motivation is entirely different, which may be a good or a bad thing, depending on how well they connect emotionally.

They may inspire each other to grow and develop personally and professionally, where Threes would learn more about morals and ethics, and Ones would learn how self-presentation is just as important for achieving their goals. Threes are proud of their successful, perfect One partner, and Ones can enjoy the enthusiasm and initiative of Threes.

But, since neither One nor Three is easily emotionally approachable, it is hard to predict which direction their connection will take. If they start on a competitive note, Three's hypersensitivity to criticism and One’s need to impose their perfectionistic standards on everyone may cause very painful conflicts for both.

Type 3 and Type 2

Type Three and Type Two don’t seem to have a lot in common, but they get along great because they complement each other well. Threes have the passion and initiative needed for the relationship to start, while Twos provide emotional support and warmth. Together, they may become very influential socially since both are very extroverted and great with people.

Threes find it easy to open up to compassionate Twos, who seem to understand their needs so well. Twos help them stay in touch with their true selves and, indeed, inspire the best in them. For that reason, Threes become even more passionate and self-assured, and Twos enjoy the respect and appreciation they get from Threes.

The biggest danger in this relationship stems from the fact that both may become too dependent on one another. Twos may rely too much on Three’s validation, and Threes may depend too much on Twos to handle their intense feelings, especially when they are stressed.

Type 3 and Type 3

Type Three and Type Three together will naturally have a lot in common and, therefore, understand each other easily, but considering how competitive they both are, their similarities don’t guarantee harmony in a relationship.

While healthy competition can be very beneficial for any kind of partnership, it can be the cause of many misunderstandings and pain in a relationship. Even when they do not turn into rivals, two Threes may find it challenging to foster a relationship because they are both very ambitious and dedicated to work.

There will surely be a lot of passion between these two, but a lot will depend on how mature they are or in which phase of their lives their paths cross. If they find each other at the moment when both have already accomplished a lot and are ready to settle, they can be great partners who encourage and inspire each other.

Type 3 and Type 4

Type Three and Type Four are opposites that may attract but also may be completely indifferent to each other. On the one hand, Four’s introspective and highly emotional nature may be a great inspiration for Threes to dive into their own depths, while on the other, they may find it hard to understand the mysterious Fours.

Fours’s creativity surely fascinates Threes, who appreciate their originality and authenticity. However, Four’s don’t have the emotional stamina of the Type Two to protect Threes from their own insecurities. For this reason, the compatibility between Fours and Threes will greatly depend on how mature they are and how willing they are to grow and evolve.

Another potential challenge in this relationship may be the fact that Fours are highly introverted, and Threes are highly extroverted. The busy and dynamic social life of Threes may be too overwhelming for Fours, who like to have their alone time.

Type 3 and Type 5

Type Three and Type Five respect each other, but they usually don’t feel great attraction when they meet. Thanks to Threes’ highly developed communication skills, they will easily get into an exciting and intellectually stimulating conversation, but it will be hard for them to achieve emotional closeness.

These kinds of relationships develop slowly over long periods of time when they are pushed to spend a lot of time together by external circumstances as they don’t naturally seek each other’s company. They can be colleagues who fall in love after years of working together on the same project.

But, if there’s nothing or no one to create circumstances in which they will get to know each other better, Threes and Fives are more likely to stay friends who respect each other. They are both very independent and don’t care to go off their path for anyone. Different communication styles are another big issue that always has the potential to cause major conflicts between them.

Type 3 and Type 6

Type Three and Type Six get along great because there’s a good balance between their differences and similarities. Threes respect Sixes’ hardworking and responsible nature as they are also very dedicated to their work. Sixes feel safe with Threes, who provide leadership and guidance, which is exactly what they need.

Moreover, Threes' enthusiasm, drive, and positive attitude can counterbalance Sixes’ inherent pessimism and fearfulness. The self-assured Threes bring relief to Sixes’ anxieties, while Sixes’ practical spirit and ability to spot potential problems help Threes be even more successful.

They provide each other emotional support, and their shared values are a good foundation for a healthy relationship.

However, since Threes are much more sociable and open than Sixes, their often flirtatious attitude and busy social schedule may trigger insecurity in Sixes. For that reason, it is important for them to practice open communication and express their feelings.

Type 3 and Type 7

Type 3 compatibility with Type 7 is based on the shared need for excitement and adventure. Both of them are energetic and optimistic and inspire each other, creating a dynamic atmosphere in a relationship. They are the couple who’ll decide to spend a weekend in Paris on Saturday morning, pack in 10 minutes, and hit the road.

Passion and chemistry can be felt in the air between them. Both are socially engaged and have huge appetites for new experiences. Threes admire Seven’s versatility and creative abilities, while Sevens admire Three’s ambition and achievements, providing support to each other.

The main challenge in their relationships may come from the fact that neither of them finds it easy to commit or even knows how to foster and maintain a relationship. They may silently drift off from each other due to their active lifestyles and lack of devotion to nurturing mutual connection. Plus, neither of them is comfortable expressing their deepest emotional needs.

Interested in how fulfilled you are in your romantic relationships? Discover more with our Romantic Fulfillment test!

Type 3 and Type 8

Type Three and Type Eight are drawn to each other, and their connection is dynamic and intense. They share the same drive and ambition, have similar communication styles, and, therefore, create a strong emotional bond very quickly. However, while Eights are way more confident than Threes, their powerful presence may trigger competitive attitudes in Threes.

For that reason, it is much more likely these two will be great business partners than develop a romantic relationship. Eigths will not tolerate such competitiveness in intimate relationships as they need warmth and support, and Threes will find it hard to be in the shadow of Type Eight.

Both Eights and Threes are natural leaders, so they may be jealous of each other’s successes in a relationship. Plus, since both refuse to back down in a conflict, it could be very tense when they don’t agree, and neither of them is willing to let go for the sake of harmony in a relationship.

Type 3 and Type 9

Threes and Nines are highly compatible, as they provide each other exactly what the other needs or lacks. Threes' initiative, energy, and enthusiasm inspire Nines, while Nines’ peaceful nature, deep emotional understanding, and acceptance make Threes feel valued.

Nines are happy to follow Threes in their pursuits and cheer for them along the way. They help them see things from different perspectives and find a way to soothe their deepest insecurities. Threes feel comfortable and find it easier to stay in touch with their true selves, with Nines having their back in every situation.

Together, they flourish, inspiring the best in one another. The only real threat to their relationship is Nine's reluctance to confront difficult subjects. This could lead to unnecessary tension, so the Threes should be careful not to ignore the Nines' needs and encourage an open dialogue about their discontent instead.

Want to know more about Enneagram 3? Our Enneagram 3 memes page offers a hilarious glimpse into the life of these ambitious achievers.

Key Takeaways

In the end, bear in mind that every combination of two Enneagram types can be successful and harmonious if both partners are willing to compromise and learn from each other. In some cases, all it takes is one partner who is mature enough to handle mutual differences and inspire the other to grow.

However, the definite answer to questions like who Enneagram 3 should marry is still impossible to give. With that in mind, here’s a brief recap of Enneagram 3 intimacy needs and compatibility with other types:

• Enneagram 3 most compatible Types are Twos, Sevens, and Nines, as they easily achieve intimacy.
• Enneagram 3 least compatible Types are Fours and Fives, as they lack the emotional understanding necessary for a relationship to develop.
• Relationships with Ones, Threes, and Eights are promising but require a bit of effort to overcome differences.

Interested in learning about the compatibility of other Enneagram types? Check out the following posts:

• Enneagram Type 1 Compatibility
• Enneagram Type 2 Compatibility
• Enneagram Type 4 Compatibility
• Enneagram Type 5 Compatibility
• Enneagram Type 6 Compatibility
• Enneagram Type 7 Compatibility
• Enneagram Type 8 Compatibility
• Enneagram Type 9 Compatibility