Enneagram 3 Female: A Portrait of the Golden Girl

5 July 2024

enneagram 3 female

Enneagram 3 female, also known as the Achiever, is a woman every girl once dreamed of becoming, as she seems to have it all figured out. From the most popular girl at school to a successful businesswoman or movie diva, Enneagram 3 female always aims for the stars.

In this article, we’ll explore and analyze how Enneagram 3 female differs from Enneagram 3 male, what her strengths and weaknesses are, and what makes her unique.

What Are Enneagram 3 Females Like?

Enneagram 3 female working

Enneagram 3 female is energetic, determined, and irresistible. She is perfectly aware of her charm and ready to use it to her advantage at any time. No matter what she does, a Type Three woman will always do her best to become number one, and she will often succeed.

As a little girl, she made the rules of every game. As a teenager, she was the golden girl everyone wanted to befriend. As a woman, she is a superb professional who has it all. Her charisma and self-assured attitude, however, conceal her tremendous fear of failure, which also motivates her to always go the extra mile to ensure her success.

In general, an Enneagram 3 female is passionate, creative, goal-oriented, and well-adapted to reality. She is also practical and will not waste time on anything that doesn’t serve her goals.

It is also important to note that the Enneagram theory recognizes two Enneagram 3 subtypes that can have traits of 3’s neighboring types, depending on their Enneagram wing. So, an Enneagram 3 female with a Two wing (3w2) will be more sensitive and empathic, whereas an Enneagram 3 female with a Four wing (3w4) will be more impulsive and moody.

4 Strengths of Enneagram 3 Females

Enneagram 3 female

The strengths of an Enneagram 3 female stem from her determination. Let’s take a closer look at her key positive qualities:

#1. Ambition

Type Three women aren’t the kind of women who will accept invisible gender-conditioned limitations; they are the ones who will break the glass ceiling. Their ambition knows no boundaries, and they follow it relentlessly, ready to work hard to earn what they believe they deserve.

This, however, doesn’t mean a Type Three woman will be any less feminine. On the contrary, she often embodies all the socially desirable female qualities, as her public image is very important to her. Moreover, she knows exactly how to use all her feminine qualities to get ahead.

#2. Charisma

Regardless of their looks, Type Three women have that special X factor that makes them highly attractive. The combination of their energy, enthusiasm, wit, and charm makes them interesting to all kinds of people, which is why they easily make connections and have a large circle of friends.

Their natural charisma is also one of the reasons why many people see them as leaders.

#3. Resourcefulness

Type Three women have the resourcefulness of a cat who always lands on her feet, no matter how hard she falls. That’s because they are fiercely determined to succeed and are open to all the opportunities life offers them.

They live in the moment, aware of reality, well-informed, and adjusted, and they readily embrace all the changes and things that come their way.

Their open minds and innovative thinking allow them to be very efficient and often come up with very pragmatic solutions to all kinds of issues.

#4. Leadership Ability

The Enneagram 3 female has all the key traits of a successful leader. She is full of initiative, has excellent communication skills, thinks on her feet, and learns quickly. Moreover, she has the self-discipline and drive necessary for success, and she is great at motivating others to give their best.

4 Weaknesses of Enneagram 3 Females

A girl holding a sign saying "girl boss"

The weaknesses of Enneagram 3 females are mainly the result of their tendency to identify themselves with their success. Here are some of the most challenging Enneagram 3 female traits:

#1. Obsession with Image and Status

Enneagram 3 females are deeply concerned with how others perceive them. They are very image-conscious, and this extends both to their physical appearance and their social image. Moreover, to them, looking successful is just as important as achieving success.

Status symbols like branded clothes, expensive cars, and similar things mean the world to them, and they tend to judge other people based on how ‘successful’ they look. As a result, they have many shallow connections based on the exchange of social influence.

#2. Disconnection from Their Authentic Needs

Focused on appearance and chasing one success after another, Enneagram 3 females easily lose touch with their authentic needs and emotions. That’s because they were conditioned very early to believe that they matter only when they achieve something, so they feel like they are only as good as their last success.

As a result, they are prone to feeling empty and lonely without being aware of what brought them to that point.

#3. Competitiveness

Type Three females are prone to seeing everyone as their rival, and since they feel they must prove their value constantly by winning, Type 3 women easily become overbearingly competitive.

While this may be useful in a professional context, it can deprive them of close connections in their private life, as other people may feel unsafe around Enneagram Three females due to their need to constantly compete.

#4. Unstable Sense of Self-Worth

Type Three women tie their worth to their achievements because that’s how their caregivers treated them while they were growing up. As a result, the moment they experience even the slightest failure, their whole identity is shaken, and they become consumed by insecurity.

Another reason behind their insecurity is that, by focusing so much on outward achievements, they weren’t given room to get to know themselves and understand their own needs. This is why they often struggle to connect with their feelings.

3 Growth Tips for Enneagram 3 Females

Enneagram 3 female

Growth tips for Enneagram 3 females are mainly focused on stabilizing their sense of self-worth and building healthy self-confidence. Here are some essential tips:

#1. Cultivate Closeness in Relationships

Instead of focusing on the relationships that look good in the public eye, Enneagram 3 females should embrace those connections that offer warmth, closeness, honesty, and support. Through more genuine connections, Type Three women will gradually be able to reconnect with their feelings without fearing vulnerability.

It is crucial for them to experience understanding, acceptance, and warmth in relationships with other people, as that’s what they lacked the most while growing up. By building emotional intimacy in friendships and love relationships, Enneagram 3 females can gradually learn to accept their authentic needs and desires.

#2. Replace Social Expectations with Authentic Passions

Instead of focusing on public image and pleasing expectations, Enneagram 3 females should allow themselves to explore and pursue their authentic passions. The problem is that they are often good at many things, and whatever they do, they easily come out on top due to the energy they invest.

However, that only makes it harder for them to distinguish what it is that they want for themselves from what others want or expect from them. By following their own desires and dismissing the obsession with public approval, Type Three women will find their way back to their authenticity.

#3. Don’t Be Defined by Failure and Success

Enneagram 3 females need to understand that neither failure nor success defines their worth in any way. By taking failures as life lessons, Enneagram 3 females will gradually be able to understand that the process is as important as the results.

Additionally, by focusing more on the process and not just the result, Threes will have the chance to learn many things about themselves, elevating their self-awareness. And the more they understand who they are, the less they will be prone to tying their identity to their achievements.

Enneagram Female 3 in Relationships

A man putting a ring on a woman's hand

Enneagram 3 females are passionate, dynamic, and energetic in relationships. In general, Enneagram 3 relationships are very exciting and fun. Type Three women seek partners who match their ambition and drive and who support their professional aspirations.

Though they like to flirt, they prefer committed relationships, as they don’t want anything to distract them from their professional goals.

These ladies may be prone to choosing partners who fit their desired social image, resulting in a lack of fulfillment. This is especially typical of unhealthy Type Three women who aren’t emotionally mature. However, Enneagram 3, when healthy, seeks supportive partners who boost their self-confidence.

Enneagram 3 Female Compatibility

Though there are no strict rules in terms of Enneagram 3 female compatibility, certain combinations may be more promising than others.

Here are the most common Type 3 female matches:

  • Enneagram 3 and Enneagram 1: Ones are just as driven and energetic as Threes. However, they are not concerned with public image and inspire Threes to depend less on public approval.
  • Enneagram 3 and Enneagram 7: The playful and passionate Sevens teach Threes to make room for more joy in their lives. Their creativity and sense of humor bring a new dimension into Threes’ lives.
  • Enneagram 3 and Enneagram 9: Nines provide Threes with unconditional acceptance and understanding, which is exactly what they need to grow. Meanwhile, Three’s initiative inspires Nines to pursue their dreams.

How to Interact With Enneagram 3 Female

Interacting with Enneagram 3 females requires a focus on efficiency and practical issues. Threes hate wasting time and, therefore, value people who are direct, precise, and concise in communication. However, they don’t respond well to criticism, so tact and patience are necessary in that regard.

Relationship Insights for Enneagram 3 Females

The key to Enneagram 3 female relationship success lies in overcoming the fear of vulnerability and reconnecting with their authentic needs. Type Three women may be very insecure about many things in their lives, though they give off an entirely different impression.

Practicing open communication and learning how to communicate their vulnerabilities will allow them to build emotional intimacy and a healthy foundation for real emotional exchange.

Enneagram 3 Female Careers & Working Style Explained

Enneagram 3 females’ working style reflects their exceptional work ethic, ambition, and commitment. Enneagram 3 women have great organizational skills, sharp minds, and a strong focus on their goals, which allows them to achieve great results in any field they tackle.

They are at their best in careers that allow them to advance, develop, and use their communication and organizational skills. With that in mind, here are some of the best Enneagram 3 female career choices:

  • Marketing manager
  • PR manager
  • Musician
  • Singer
  • Actor
  • TV host
  • Sales manager
  • Communication manager
  • Chief executive officer
  • Investment manager
  • Sports professional
  • Motivational speaker

Unlock Your Maximum Potential

Take our free Enneagram test to find out your Enneagram type and learn how to develop your strengths and talents!

Final Thoughts

Considering Enneagram 3 women’s key traits, it is safe to say that Enneagram 3 females are generally ambivalent toward gender stereotypes.

On the one hand, they can’t accept the traditional role of women as guardians of the home and family. They want to go into the world, climb the ladder, and be on top in every sense.

On the other hand, they long to conform to social expectations, which may be very tricky for them in more traditionally oriented cultures.

Nevertheless, Type Three women adapt smoothly to the demands of their time and environment, always finding a way to get ahead.