Enneagram 3 and 3 Relationship: The Secret of a Power Couple Revealed

Love between two Enneagram Threes is a success of its kind, and they are sure to celebrate it as loudly as possible. Even though there is genuine affection in an Enneagram 3 and 3 relationship, love can become a weapon for social influence in their hands.

While they discuss whether they should match their outfits to make a more favorable impression or, perhaps, which one of them should run for president, it is clear they can be a perfect match.

In this article, we’ll delve into the complexities of their bond to reveal how these powerhouses navigate the fine line between ambition and love.

Enneagram Type 3 and Compatibility

Threes, also called the Achievers, are energetic goal-getters, driven to succeed at all costs. They have a deep need for social validation, and sometimes, they don’t even care about what they do as long as they are successful.

Their shared expectation of success is a major draw for them, so it is no surprise they are so attracted to one another. An immediate attraction develops between the two Threes as soon as they realize they are playing the same game and chasing the same dream. Interestingly, Threes can sometimes be misidentified as Ones due to their driven, high-achieving nature and focus on perfection, though Threes are more concerned with image and social validation, while Ones focus on ethical standards.

Two Achievers either become rivals or lovers. Actually, in many cases, they become both. Moreover, they often give off the vibe of Barbie and Ken, the Prom Queen and King, and they enjoy all the attention they receive both individually and as a couple.

Their relationship is very dynamic and full of sparks. However, while Enneagram 3 and 3 compatibility is high, the ultimate success of their relationship depends on their maturity level. Namely, immature or unhealthy Threes often prioritize social image over true affection, which comes with a cost.

How Enneagram Type 3 & 3 Contribute to the Relationship?

To figure out how enneagram type 3 & 3 contribute to the relationship, we first need to understand that Threes are social butterflies who enjoy flirting, having fun, and being in the limelight.

Together, they create a very positively charged atmosphere, and people are drawn to them because they are fun to be around. Energetic, charming, and charismatic, they are always open to new adventures, but they never lose sight of their goals. Their shared interests often include Enneagram 3 hobbies like networking, attending social events, and engaging in activities that allow them to showcase their talents.

Two Threes enjoy seducing one another, and they are ready to play many games to win each other’s affection. For this reason, their relationships are exceptionally exciting, particularly during the Enneagram 3 and 3 dating stage.

As their bond develops, they move their attention more toward careers and motivate each other to shoot for the stars.

Although they can be fiercely competitive at times, particularly when pursuing careers in the same industry, they are just as often each other's biggest supporters. Moreover, this rivalry is likely to spice up their relationship, pushing them to become the best or worst versions of themselves.

Detailed Analysis of Enneagram Type 3 and 3 Relationship

There are many facets to the Enneagram 3 and 3 relationship. We’ll analyze all the core aspects of their connection to reveal what makes them strong as a couple, as well as what could set them apart.

#1. Type 3 and Type 3—Communication

Threes’ communication style is characterized by efficiency. Therefore, they are rational, practical, eloquent, and assertive as they move toward their goals as fast as they can. They can also be very charming, seductive, and persuasive, especially when they want to win people over for their goals.

So, communication between two Threes is very playful, particularly during the Enneagram 3 and 3 dating stage, when they are flirting and trying to impress one another.

#2. Type 3 and Type 3—Values

For the Threes, success is the ultimate holy grail of life. There’s nothing that’s more important to them than to succeed and be seen as winners. For this reason, status, money, power, and social image all play important roles in their lives. They also tend to judge other people based on how successful they are.

So, the two Threes get along well in regards to values. Problems may arise if one of them is significantly lower on the social ladder than the other, as such a difference may trigger them to become competitive to an unhealthy extent and become hostile toward each other.

#3. Type 3 and Type 3—Building Trust

Shared values and motivation surely contribute to a sense of trust in an Enneagram 3 and 3 relationship. Mutual recognition and validation are also factors that strongly enhance confidence between two Achievers.

However, the Threes struggle with deep emotional expression and find it extremely hard to open up emotionally to each other completely. It takes a lot of maturity for both to reach that place in a relationship where they feel secure enough to be vulnerable around each other.

This aspect of the relationship can become somewhat easier if two Threes differ in terms of Enneagram wings, as this dimension dials up the emotional intelligence and relationship-orientedness of the partners involved.

But we’ll talk in more detail about this particular topic later on, so keep reading.

#4. Type 3 and Type 3—Stress Management

Failure is the biggest stress trigger for Enneagram Type 3, and for this reason, they will go above and beyond to avoid it. That’s why they easily become workaholics, but they can also resort to unjust means to ensure success.

For this reason, Threes under stress may become dishonest with one another, trying to hide their struggle with failure. Dishonesty makes room for all kinds of misunderstandings, which can eventually lead to strained relationships.

#5. Type 3 and Type 3—Passion & Intimacy

Threes are very sensual and passionate types, and they enjoy exploring this aspect of their relationship. They are strongly physically attracted to each other, and they are delighted to have found someone who can match their energy and enthusiasm for life’s pleasures.

These two know how to enjoy life together, and sensual pleasure plays an important role in their connection.

#6. Type 3 and Type—Emotional Support

Threes have an innate understanding of each other’s need to succeed and of all the challenges that come with it. However, their fear of expressing vulnerability can limit their capacity to provide emotional support to one another.

Since Threes belong to the Enneagram heart triad, they have shame as their core emotion. As long as they feel ashamed in the face of failure, they aren’t capable of honestly supporting one another.

Just like Ones and Nines, they both crave to be loved and accepted regardless of their success, but unless they learn to love themselves unconditionally, they will not be able to provide such acceptance to each other either.

#7. Type 3 and Type 3—Intellectual Exchange

The achiever has a pragmatic mind and can be rational, practical, and creative at the same time. Since they are strongly goal-oriented, their focus is on those topics that contribute to their success. For this reason, they enjoy their discussions, as these help them find better solutions to the things they are dealing with.

In general, their intellectual exchange is very stimulating for both, and they like sharing their insights with one another.

#8. Type 3 and Type 3—Mutual Motivation & Encouragement

Threes are generally great at motivating other people to give their best and pursue their dreams, so they also provide this kind of support and encouragement to one another. A dash of rivalry that’s always present between them can also serve as a motivational factor in their relationship if it is well-balanced.

3 Troubles in Enneagram Type 3 and 3 Relationship

Achievers face many different challenges in their love life in general, but some issues are particularly common in an Enneagram 3 and 3 relationship.

Obsession with Image

As mentioned before, a strong focus on external validation can easily lead Threes to neglect their authentic emotional needs in order to please public expectations. For this reason, their relationship sometimes looks perfect on the outside but feels shallow and fake on the inside.

It is essential that they shift their focus to the bond between them instead of trying to impress other people as a couple.

Perfectionism

Threes often have unrealistically high expectations of themselves and their partners. While placing the bar high isn’t necessarily a bad thing, failing to meet such expectations can lead to mutual criticism and disappointment. Since failure feels deeply unsettling for Threes, this can severely damage their relationship.

Instead of projecting perfectionistic expectations on one another, Threes should focus on their real qualities and build emotional intimacy from there.

Workaholism

Because of their intense focus on establishing successful careers, Threes often let other parts of their lives fall by the wayside. They are prone to workaholism, which leads them to burnout, resulting in stress that affects every aspect of their lives, particularly their relationships.

Trees should learn to recognize when they are entering their typical stress patterns to avoid compromising their emotional connection due to their workaholic tendencies.

How Enneagram Type 3 Wings’ Impact Their Relationship

Enneatype 3 often has wings, which can impact their relationships. This means you display some traits of one of the two Enneagram types that surround your core type on the Enneagram circumference, and the only way to figure this out is by taking the Enneagram test.

Every type can have a wing, and Enneagram wings are particularly important in relationships between two of the same Enneatypes because they reveal personality dimensions that are actually quite different and bring variety to their connection.

So, Threes can have Types Two and Four as their wings. Both Twos and Fours enhance emotional intelligence in Threes, but 3w2s are more relationship-oriented, while 3w4s are a more artistic, introverted version of the Achiever.

Since Twos and Fours are mutually compatible, 3w2s and 3w4s together make for harmonious couples.

3 Tips on How Type 3 and 3 Can Elevate Their Relationship

Nothing is impossible when two Achievers join forces, and they can have an amazing relationship if they decide to work on overcoming their typical weaknesses.

Here are a few key tips to support their mutual growth.

Focus on Emotional Intimacy

When they first meet, Threes often perceive each other as perfect partners, as both are successful, good-looking, passionate, and goal-oriented. However, they are also prone to believe that that’s just enough for a perfect relationship, unaware that emotional intimacy is the pillar of every healthy relationship.

Therefore, it is essential that they focus on opening up to each other on an emotional level and creating a safe space for each other to be vulnerable.

Encourage Authentic Emotional Expression

Focused on success and appearance, Threes’ motto is often ‘fake it till you make it.’ But this motto doesn’t work in a love relationship, which requires honesty and courage to show your true self.

Therefore, it is important for Threes to be honest with each other about their genuine emotional needs and encourage each other to listen to their gut rather than conform to societal norms.

Spend Quality Time Together away from the Crowd

Threes are one of the most extroverted Enneagram types, and they enjoy socializing as a couple. However, while going out and spending time in a crowd can be fun, it can hinder the development of emotional intimacy between them.

For this reason, it is very important for Threes to spend time together, away from social pressure. This allows them to put off their social masks and connect more genuinely, a strategy that Sevens and Nines should also adopt.

Key Takeaways

So, whether they decide to take over the world together or simply buy matching coffee mugs and build a happy family life, Enneagram 3 and 3 in love will not stop until they reach their goal!

Now, let’s round off by reminding you why the second option would be a great choice for both of them:

• Two Threes can understand each other like no one else can. Therefore, they can become each other’s biggest source of support and encouragement.
• Both are passionate and bring a lot of joy and sensual pleasure to their connection, which greatly contributes to building strong relationship foundations.
• Threes know how to inspire the best in each other and encourage one another to pursue their dreams. This is valid both for Enneagram 3 and 3 friendships and romantic relationships.

Learn how Type 3 pairs with different Enneagram types by reading our other articles:

• Enneagram 3 and 4 relationship
• Enneagram 3 and 5 relationship
• Enneagram 3 and 6 relationship