28 June 2024
Enneagram 3 male, also known as the Achiever, has all the typical traits of Type Three. That’s because Three’s nature generally matches the traditional male role in society well. Therefore, the Enneagram 3 male is a masculine, ambitious, and energetic type who readily takes charge in every situation.
In this article, we’ll explore Enneagram 3 male characteristics and how they differ from Enneagram 3 females, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and how they deal with gender stereotypes.
Enneagram 3 males are charming, energetic, and ambitious goal-getters who see life as a race in which they plan to win. Though they are very career-oriented, they also have a strong hedonistic streak and generally love adventures and excitement.
Furthermore, the Type Three man is a man of action. Focused on the here and now, he looks for the most practical and efficient solutions, never losing sight of his ultimate goal. He naturally takes charge in all situations, which is why he is often perceived as a leader, even when he doesn’t formally assume such a position.
However, Type Three men struggle to stay in touch with their feelings, so they easily neglect their relationships and personal lives for their careers. They may seem to have a perfect life on the outside since public image is very important to them, but in reality, they may stay in unfulfilling relationships just to maintain their image.
This tendency can often be traced back to childhood, as Enneagram 3 children might start prioritizing external validation over personal fulfillment early in life.
It is also important to understand that the Enneagram test and theory recognize two Enneagram 3 subtypes, which may display some traits of their neighboring types, depending on their Enneagram wing.
So Type Three with a Two wing (3w2) will be more in touch with their feelings, while Type Three with a Four wing (3w4) will be more introspective than a typical Three.
The strengths of Enneagram 3 males are the reason why they are often perceived as leaders. Here are some of their most prominent characteristics:
Type Three men have exceptional problem-solving skills, which is why they are so efficient in finding solutions to all kinds of problems. They are incredibly resourceful, able to think on their feet, and come up with creative yet practical ideas.
That’s because they are so deeply determined not to fail, making their minds race in search of possibilities and ways for them to succeed, no matter what they are doing. They are also very witty, sharp in debates, and excellent at persuading others and winning them over for their goals.
Enneagram 3 males often have charisma similar to that of James Bond and other characters who have that “always a winner” aura surrounding them. They are charming, seductive, and fun to be around. Moreover, they are perfectly aware of their attractiveness and have no problem using it for their own goals.
They also enjoy being in the limelight and usually have a talent for performing, which is why they are often the life of every party. Enneagram 3 hobbies often include activities that allow them to showcase their charisma and competitive spirit, such as public speaking, competitive sports, or engaging in leadership roles within social groups.
These traits allow them to make connections easily, so they typically have a large circle of friends and acquaintances.
One of the most prominent Enneagram 3 male traits is a relentless focus on success. Though they may seem playful and chill, Threes never lose sight of their goals. They are fiercely ambitious and relentlessly focused on results, and there’s nothing that can stand in the way of their success.
They have the willpower and self-discipline needed for success and are ready to work hard for what they believe they deserve.
Type Three men are social chameleons who adapt easily to every situation. They are quick thinkers who think outside the box and often come up with innovative solutions. Moreover, they are flexible and open to different possibilities, which is one of the secrets of their efficiency.
The weaknesses of Enneagram 3 males mainly stem from their tendency to cut their feelings off. Here are some of their most important weak spots:
Type Three men tend to see everyone as their rival. While this can be useful in some situations, it can create problems for them since other people may perceive them as hostile and overbearing. Threes may feel compelled to compete without even realizing why they are doing it, as they are often unaware they are only driven by their insecurities.
That’s because they are motivated by the false belief that they are only worthy if they are number one in everything. Therefore, their competitiveness will vary depending on their maturity and ability to overcome this belief.
Enneagram 3 males value status and image and are willing to sacrifice many things to look perfect in the eyes of the public.
Their strong focus on public image often leads them to make the wrong choices, like investing a lot of money into buying a new car they believe will impress other people when saving would be a better idea.
Outward symbols of success mean a lot to them, and they easily abandon their authentic desires and needs for the sake of their status. As a result, Enneagram 3 male relationships may be shallow and unfulfilling.
However, healthy Enneagram 3 males aren’t as obsessed with status and public image as unhealthy 3s are. Therefore, the extent to which they depend on status symbols indicates their health and maturity level.
Enneagram 3 males’ insecurity stems from disconnection from their authentic needs and feelings. In order to maintain their focus on success, they readily suppress and cut off their emotions, which inevitably leads them to feel lost and disoriented at some point.
Therefore, they may feel empty and insecure even when they achieve success because they have lost touch with their genuine motivation.
Plus, they are conditioned to believe that they are only as good as their last success, and as a result, even the smallest mistakes can make them feel like total failures.
Enneagram 3 males can grow in many ways, but the most important thing for them is to overcome their insecurity and all the false beliefs connected with it. Here are some of the most efficient growth strategies for them:
By focusing on connections that offer real fulfillment instead of those that look good in the public eye, Enneagram 3 males will give themselves a chance to become more in touch with their feelings. For this reason, they need to identify people who make them feel good, who genuinely care for them, and who inspire them and deepen their connections with them.
Type Three men need to understand that success is not everything people see in them, and the fastest way to learn this lesson is to be surrounded by people who accept them for who they are.
For Type Three men, being successful was the only way to get attention, respect, and love from their caregivers. As a result, they believe that no one really cares about who they are and that only what they do and achieve matters.
Therefore, Threes see themselves as winners when they are successful, and when they fail, they immediately lose their confidence and begin to feel like complete failures. It is hard for them to understand that success has nothing to do with their worth as human beings.
They need to stop identifying themselves with their successes and failures and focus more on their authentic needs and desires.
For Enneagram 3 males, the key to health and real success is unlocking their intrinsic motivation. To do that, they have to understand that the fastest way to succeed is to do what you love, not what other people expect or pressure you to do.
Thus, by reconnecting with their needs and feelings, Type Three men will tap into their authentic power and open the door to real fulfillment.
Enneagram 3 male in love is a passionate and exciting partner. Since his image is very important to him, he is often attracted to partners who match his desired image and empower him to succeed. However, opening up emotionally and building emotional intimacy is a huge challenge for an Enneagram 3 male in a relationship since he is terrified of being seen as vulnerable.
So, he either bonds with partners who are similar to him and with whom he doesn’t have to risk being vulnerable, as both are running away from closeness, or with those who offer him warmth and acceptance while staying in his shadow.
Nevertheless, when the Enneagram 3 male really falls in love, he often becomes insecure, as love requires vulnerability, and may become possessive and jealous as a result.
A healthy Enneagram 3 male finds a way to balance his ambitions with his love life and is prone to assuming the traditional male role of the family provider. He may not be as emotionally invested as his partner, but he shows love through his acts.
Enneagram 3 males can build relationships with any other Enneagram type, but certain combinations usually demand fewer adjustments than others.
So, here are some of the Enneagram types most compatible with Type Three:
Interacting with Enneagram 3 males demands a direct approach and efficiency. Their communication style is very straightforward, so they expect the same from others. Moreover, they also have a good sense of humor, so a bit of creativity in communication will be appreciated, too.
It is important not to criticize them directly and harshly, as they are quick to feel defeated and ashamed and may become defensive as a result.
An Enneagram 3 male can build stronger relationships by fostering authenticity, honesty, and emotional intimacy. He needs to learn to express his appreciation and affection without fear of vulnerability.
Focused on their careers and goals, Type Three men easily overlook the importance of simple, kind gestures that show love and enhance relationships. Therefore, it is essential that they find a healthy balance between their professional and personal lives and spend quality time with the people they love.
Enneagram 3 males are natural leaders. They are organized, driven, communicative, persuasive, and charismatic, so people readily follow their lead. Hardworking and committed to success, Type Three men will not always follow the rules but will always find the fastest and most efficient way to succeed.
It is important for them to have the possibility of advancing, regardless of what they do. They are not happy to be just good team players and can get very competitive. However, they also don’t like solitary roles where they have no challenge or competition to beat.
Plus, since they shine in the limelight, they also perform well on stage.
So, with all this in mind, here are some of the best Enneagram 3 male careers:
Take our Enneagram test to find your type and learn how to maximize your strengths and overcome your weaknesses!
So, in general, an Enneagram 3 male easily adapts to gender roles and traditional expectations related to such roles. However, he also deals with challenges typical of gender stereotypes.
Therefore, they have trouble connecting with their feelings, which is a common issue for men due to cultural stereotypes that present them as less emotional than women.
To better understand how Enneagram 3 males adapt to social expectations and how they express their masculinity, you can explore:
These articles will also provide some interesting insight into how popular culture perceives and depicts Type 3 men and how their destinies might roll out in real life.
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