Enneagram 3 Friendship: A Friendly Competition

Enneagram 3 friendships are characterized by friendly rivalry. Threes are naturally competitive and, therefore, either attract followers or rivals. Therefore, those who rise to the Threes' challenge and earn their friendship are usually very similar to them.

However, as they grow and mature, Threes also learn to build close connections with people who are nothing like them.

In this article, we’ll explore what Threes are like as friends, what they look for in friendship, the challenges they face, and how they can improve their relationships.

4 Key Traits of Enneagram Threes as Friends

Enneagram Type 3, also known as the Achiever, is an inspiring friend who always pushes you to outperform yourself. This is true regardless of their Enneagram wing; both Enneagram 3 subtypes (3w2 and 3w4) are equally inspiring and exciting friends.

Here are their four key traits:

#1. Enthusiasm

Threes are full of passion for life, and their enthusiasm inspires their friends to seek more joy in life, too. Their presence has an uplifting effect on others, and their optimism is contagious, which is why everyone likes being around them.

Plus, as they are genuinely motivated to live their lives to the fullest, Threes spontaneously create a positive atmosphere and are often the leading figures in their friends' circles.

#2. Energy

Energetic, driven, and determined, Threes bring a unique intensity into their friendships. They are also very physically active and often show plenty of initiative in terms of organizing engaging activities and social events for their friends. Always on the go, they like the time they spend with their loved ones to be exciting and full of interesting activities.

Besides that, Threes’ energy attracts many different people, so they are often surrounded by large groups of friends who enjoy following their lead.

#3. Playfulness

Threes have a great sense of humor and are very playful, which is why they are often the soul of every party. Moreover, they enjoy being in the limelight and entertaining their friends, so they are usually VIPs on their friends' party lists.

Plus, they often have a talent for performing, so they are the first ones to stand up and sing at karaoke or amuse their friends by playing an instrument. Therefore, their playfulness allows their friends to forget their everyday troubles for a moment and even look at them from a new perspective.

#4. Problem-Solving Skills

Threes are very efficient problem-solvers, and they bring that quality to their friendships, too. They might not always show as much affection as an Enneagram Type Two friend would, but they will always offer helpful, realistic solutions to their friends’ problems and support them in tackling them practically.

Their problem-solving skills also help them overcome the issues they face in their relationships with friends. For this reason, they often experience immense personal growth through their friendships.

3 Amazing Strengths of Enneagram Type 3 as a Friend

The strengths that make Threes stand out as friends stem from their passionate spirit. Here are some of the most admirable ones:

#1. Motivation

Threes are very ambitious and eager to succeed in every aspect of life, and their unwavering commitment to success also has a motivational effect on their friends. But that’s not the only way they inspire their friends to be more successful.

In fact, Threes genuinely enjoy taking over the role of coach to their friends, teaching them how to be more successful and encouraging them to pursue their dreams. Achievers are profoundly invested in their friends’ success and generally like people who are willing to go after their dreams and look forward to building closer bonds with them.

#2. Challenge

Threes aren’t afraid of conflicts and readily confront their friends’ opinions—they enjoy a healthy debate and feel invigorated after such interactions. While this may be challenging for their friends who are more sensitive, most of their close people learn to appreciate Threes' direct and open communication style.

In addition, by challenging their attitudes and inviting them to reexamine their beliefs, Threes actually invite their friends to grow, supporting them with their wit and insights along the way.

Another way Threes challenge their friends is through rivalry. Threes love competitions and will readily compete with their friends, thus propelling them to be the best versions of themselves.

#3. Creativity

Though it may not be as obvious as their other qualities, Threes’ creativity is fascinating and very inspiring for their friends. Stemming from their intense desire to find the quickest and most efficient way to achieve results, Threes' minds are always racing, looking for ideas that would help them achieve their goals.

As a result, they develop innovative ways of thinking and are capable of coming up with unique and creative yet very practical solutions to all kinds of problems.

4 Biggest Challenges of Being Friends With the Achiever

The challenges of being friends with the Achiever mostly stem from their highly competitive nature. Here are the typical ones:

#1. Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Threes struggle with vulnerability and intuitively connect with people who are similar to them. Such connections are smooth as long as neither experiences emotional turmoil. However, when they do, they may distance themselves from their friends, as they are unwilling to share their vulnerability, thus creating distance in friendship and unnecessary conflicts.

#2. Unhealthy Rivalry

Though Threes like their friends to have a good social image, they don’t want them to question their status and position. Therefore, they may sometimes feel threatened by friends who are just as successful or attractive as they are. As a result, they are prone to silent rivalries with even their closest friends, who are often unaware that they are participating in a competition.

#3. Neglect Relationships

Committed to their careers and protecting their social image and status, Threes easily neglect their personal relationships. Due to this, they often forget how much the support of their friends means to them.

When this happens, Threes’ friends may feel that their friendship is one-sided, while Threes typically need some time to notice that they have created a distance in their relationships.

#4. Superficiality

Threes are easily carried away by their need to give off a good impression and may focus too much on superficial, irrelevant things about their friends. As a result, they may fail to build their friendships on real intimacy and prefer shallow exchanges of social influence.

3 Tips on Building a Strong Friendship with Enneagram Type 3

Building a strong, balanced friendship with Threes requires dedication and emotional maturity, but it is definitely worth the effort. With that in mind, here are some essential tips that can help you build a stable and long-lasting Enneagram 3 friendship.

#1. Praise Their Personal Qualities

The core reason for Threes’ insecurity is the fact that they identify with their success and achievement. Because of this, any failure they experience makes them doubt themselves and their worth. So, if their friends also focus on their success and outward image, they may make them feel even more insecure.

So, instead of praising them for their success, Threes’ friends should praise their inherent qualities to remind them that they are worthy of love and respect regardless of how successful they are.

#2. Encourage Them to Be More Emotionally Open

Threes have a tendency to detach from their authentic needs and emotions to be able to focus more efficiently on their goals. This makes them lose connection with their authentic selves and struggle to understand what they feel. For this reason, they often avoid talking about feelings with their friends, which may create an unnecessary distance in their relationships.

So, as a Three’s friend, create a safe space for them to share how they feel by sharing how you feel and showing them you won’t use their vulnerability against them.

#3. Respect Their Ambitions

Threes have a low tolerance for friends who don’t support their ambitions—they connect with people who understand their drive and passion and encourage them to pursue their dreams. Calling them workaholics or criticizing their busy schedules will only signal to your Achiever friend that you are not as motivated to succeed in life as they are.

So, show understanding for their goals and be their cheerleader; they will always come back to you when it’s time to celebrate their success!

How Can the Achievers Become Better Friends?

Achievers can become better friends primarily by making more room for personal relationships in their lives! However, there are also other areas in which they can grow to improve their Enneagram 3 friendships. Here are some essential tips for achieving this:

#1. Focus on Emotional Bonding

As a Three, you have highly developed social and communication skills that allow you to connect easily with all kinds of people. Building social networks comes naturally, but building emotional intimacy is a challenge. Due to your tendency to disconnect from your own emotions, you may find it difficult to connect with others on a deeper emotional level.

So, if you want to improve the quality of your Enneagram 3 friendships, it is essential that you focus on the people with whom you feel you can achieve emotional closeness. Invest in building closeness through self-disclosure in friendship instead of surrounding yourself with those who just go well with your social image.

#2. Spend Quality Time with Friends

Not having time for your friends sends the message that they are not important enough for you to make time for them. So, by investing more effort into planning your social life and allocating more time to those who deserve it the most, you will improve your Enneagram 3 friendships and the overall quality of your life.

That’s because the encouragement, support, understanding, and good times you have with your closest friends will regenerate your energy, thus enabling you to be even more successful.

#3. Control Your Competitive Spirit

There’s generally nothing wrong with friendly competition, but your friends sometimes need more understanding than rivalry from you. No matter how well-intentioned you are or how well your friends know you, constant friendly competition may exhaust them.

So, instead of teasing and challenging your friends to compete with you, show them that you look forward to their success as they look forward to yours. Focus more on what’s important to your friends and on the bond you have with them instead of chronically comparing yourself to them.

Which Enneagram Type Could Your Best Friend Be?

Have them take our Enneagram test and find out!

Key Takeaways

Thanks to the Achiever’s dynamic nature, Enneagram 3 friendships are exciting, inspiring, and fun! Sure, earning their friendship can be challenging, but the reward is well worth it!

Let’s wrap up by focusing on key insights about Enneagram 3 friendships:

• Threes easily make friends because they are very sociable, extroverted, and have great communication skills.
• Building emotional intimacy is a challenge in Enneagram 3 friendships because Threes struggles with vulnerability.
• Threes need friends who will create a safe space for them to be authentic and free to show their feelings and vulnerabilities.