25 August 2025
Reverse psychology is a persuasion technique that involves encouraging people to do the opposite of what you actually want them to do. Although this is supposed to compel them to pick your preferred course of action, not all personality types respond to this tactic in the same way. If you attempt to use it on someone who’s naturally compliant, it can even backfire.
In this article, we’ll discuss what reverse psychology is, discover what it looks like in practice, explore its risks and benefits, and more.
Also known as strategic self-anticonformity, reverse psychology is a method of persuading people to do what you want by advocating for the opposite behavior. It works based on a phenomenon known as psychological reactance. According to the reactance theory, people are motivated to reclaim their behavioral freedom when they feel that it is threatened or reduced.
In simple terms, reverse psychology works because people are naturally wired to resist control and defend their autonomy. While it may sound counterintuitive, this persuasion method can encourage others to do or say what you actually desire because most individuals feel uncomfortable and tend to push back when someone threatens their freedom of choice.
What makes reverse psychology particularly compelling is that it taps into certain emotional triggers, such as ego, pride, and competitiveness. In other words, if you tell someone they can’t or shouldn’t do something, it’ll likely urge them to prove you wrong and assert their independence.
In most cases, people aren’t aware when someone uses reverse psychology techniques on them. While this tactic is helpful in certain scenarios, it can be used as a form of psychological manipulation. Additionally, if you use it to manipulate someone and they realize it, it can backfire, causing them to become resentful.
Now that you know what reverse psychology is, let’s explore some practical examples so that you can recognize when someone’s using it on you.
Below are some common examples of reverse psychology in everyday life:
Reverse psychology can be applied in professional settings to boost productivity and motivation. A typical example of this would be a manager suggesting a deadline extension because a project is too challenging to complete within the original timeline.
Naturally, some employees may agree with the extension. However, those who are driven may push themselves to work harder and meet the original deadline just to prove their competence or leave the manager impressed.
Reverse psychology is often used in both romantic and platonic relationships to get the other person to behave in a certain way.
For example, a parent could tell their child, “Don’t even try this vegetable, there’s no way you’ll like it!” to compel them to try new foods. Or, someone could tell their significant other something along the lines of, “It’s alright, we can stay in tonight. You probably wouldn’t enjoy this event anyway,” to persuade their partner into proving them wrong and going out.
Reverse psychology is increasingly applied in marketing to create intrigue, boost demand, and increase sales. This isn’t surprising; a study by Sinha and Foscht suggests that reverse psychology tactics attract and engage customers better than traditional marketing approaches. These innovative tactics are especially effective with the younger generation.
Some examples of reverse psychology in sales and marketing include the following:
At school, both students and teachers may use reverse psychology. For example, a teacher could tell students that they probably wouldn’t like or understand a particular book yet because it’s more advanced, encouraging them to read it and prove the teacher wrong.
By contrast, students may use reverse psychology to get their peers to perform a specific action. For instance, when working on a group assignment, they could tell another student, “You wouldn’t dare to present our findings in front of the class,” which can spark defiance and lead that student to speak up.
Since you now know what reverse psychology is and what it looks like in real life, let’s discuss its advantages and disadvantages.
Depending on how and when it’s used, reverse psychology can be both beneficial and risky. The main benefit of reverse psychology is that it can get people to make decisions that are best for them, even if they’d normally choose a different option.
For instance, if a child doesn’t want to eat vegetables or do their homework, reverse psychology can be an effective way to guide them toward these actions.
Even better, it can make them feel like they’re making their own choices instead of being forced to do something against their will. This can be especially helpful when dealing with teenagers or individuals who are generally rebellious.
This persuasion tactic doesn’t come without risks, and the main one is loss of trust.
Using reverse psychology in relationships can have catastrophic consequences. If your friend, family member, or significant other realizes what you’re doing, they may feel manipulated, disrespected, and hurt. Ultimately, this can lead to them losing trust in you, which can be very difficult (and sometimes even impossible) to repair.
There are also certain ethical concerns you should be aware of. Depending on the circumstances, this tactic can be manipulative and indirectly interfere with people’s free will. While compelling a child to do something good for themselves is harmless, for example, constantly manipulating your partner into acting a certain way can make the relationship toxic.
When it comes to reverse psychology, your intentions also matter; there’s a difference between encouraging people to do what’s in their best interest and subtly controlling their behavior to benefit yourself.
Reverse psychology doesn’t work when you’re using it on highly compliant, agreeable individuals. How susceptible someone is to this tactic largely depends on their character and personality type; the more cooperative a person is, the more likely they are to agree with your suggestion rather than resist it. Direct communication usually works better with such people.
Furthermore, reverse psychology may not work if the person simply lacks motivation or interest in what you’re trying to get them to do. It may also fail if you use it on someone who looks up to you, as they may take your suggestions at face value instead of rebelling against them.
Another scenario in which reverse psychology may not work is if the other person sees through the tactic and realizes what you’re trying to achieve. If someone has used reverse psychology before or has been a target of this persuasion method, they may immediately understand what’s going on.
It also may not work or even backfire on those who have a good understanding of psychology, as such individuals are more likely to detect manipulation.
In short, who you’re using reverse psychology on usually determines whether it works or fails. Therefore, you shouldn’t use this tactic on everyone you meet; at worst, it can ruin your relationships. Most of the time, it’s best to practice open communication and encourage people to weigh their options and make decisions independently.
On this note, let’s discuss how to use reverse psychology wisely.
To use reverse psychology wisely, follow these tips:
Ultimately, if there’s a right way to use reverse psychology, it’s to use it sparingly and subtly on very rare, appropriate occasions.
If someone uses reverse psychology on you, you should pause and evaluate the situation before reacting. By taking a moment before responding, you can avoid being pressured into making a decision that you might not make otherwise.
While reverse psychology can be harmless, it can also be toxic. To identify whether it’s toxic or not, try to gauge the person’s intent. You can even question the reasoning behind their suggestion to see whether they truly believe in what they’re offering you to do.
If you believe they’re trying to manipulate you into making a decision that benefits them (or if they’re regularly using this tactic), you might want to address this issue directly with them. This can help you set healthy boundaries and make them less likely to use reverse psychology on you in the future.
In any case, trust your instincts and evaluate all your options before making a decision. You might even find that there are other, much better courses of action aside from the ones they’re suggesting or trying to get you to take.
Not every personality type responds to reverse psychology in the same manner; some individuals are more influenced by it than others due to their unique personality traits. For this reason, personality frameworks, such as the Enneagram test, can provide deeper insight into how you or someone you know may respond to this persuasion technique.
Generally speaking, high-reactance personalities are more susceptible to reverse psychology than low-reactance ones. In other words, cooperative, agreeable, and rule-oriented individuals are more likely to comply with your suggestion than independent, competitive, stubborn, and argumentative people.
The Enneagram system recognizes nine distinct personality types, each with its own unique core fears, motivations, and desires.
Here’s how each Enneagram type is likely to respond to reverse psychology:
Hopefully, you found this article helpful in learning what reverse psychology is, how to use it wisely, and what to do if someone uses it on you.
Before you leave, let’s go over the key points we covered today:
Reverse psychology can be used in various ways in love, such as pulling away to get someone to chase you. However, to build trust in relationships, it’s best to avoid using this tactic and practice open communication.
Reverse psychology can be harmful if used for the wrong reasons or overused. More specifically, you shouldn’t use it frequently or to manipulate and control others, as this can destroy people’s trust in you and your advice.
Yes, you can use reverse psychology on yourself. For example, you can tell yourself that you shouldn’t or can’t do something, and this may trigger resistance within you, compelling you to do the said thing. However, whether it works or not largely depends on your personality.
26 June 2024