Enneagram 7 in Conflict: Triggers and Resolution Strategies

Enneagram 7 in conflict reacts in different ways because this type is generally impulsive and unpredictable. On the one hand, Sevens enjoy challenging discussions. On the other hand, some topics may feel deeply triggering to them. The more emotionally triggered they are, the more unpredictable their reaction to conflict will be.

What is Enneagram Type 7 Like in Conflict?

Enneagram 7 in conflict feels anxious and seeks the fastest way to resolve it or evade confrontation. The carefree, playful, and vivacious Sevens focus on finding pleasures in life, and anything that spoils their quest for new experiences feels limiting to them.

However, since they are one of the most optimistic Enneagram types, always focusing on the bright side, Sevens tend to seek out the positive aspects in every conflict. Moreover, they enjoy the intellectual stimulation that some conflicts may provide and look forward to exchanging opinions with other people.

In addition, as Sevens, also known as the Enthusiasts, are very creative, conflicts often push them toward finding innovative solutions.

Nevertheless, there’s a huge difference in how Sevens react to conflicts in their intimate relationships and conflicts related to their professional lives. In intimate relationships, they are more likely to run away from conflicts as they prefer to avoid talking about feelings. Meanwhile, at work, they may even be confrontational, as they don’t feel so vulnerable.

What Causes Enneagram 7 to Enter Conflict: 5 Triggers

Enneagram 7 gets triggered into conflict by any experience they perceive as limiting. Let’s explore some of the most typical triggers they react to.

#1. Repetitive Tasks

Repetitive tasks can easily trigger Sevens into conflict. That’s because they are highly creative and feel constrained when they have to focus on tasks that do not inspire their intellect and imagination.

For an Enneagram 7 male, the monotony of repetitive tasks can be particularly frustrating, often leading to feelings of restlessness and agitation.

The frustration they feel when they are required to devote themselves to repetitive tasks slowly builds up and makes them anxious. As a result, they may express their dissatisfaction impulsively and inadequately, provoking people around them to engage in a conflict just to vent their dissatisfaction.

#2. Lack of Excitement

A lack of excitement makes Seven feel bored and trapped. As a result, they may behave in a defensive and provocative manner, unconsciously inviting other people to start a conflict just to create some kind of excitement.

However, since they do this unconsciously, these conflicts easily turn into more than just a form of pastime, and they end up having problems with people for no real reason.

#3. Limited Choice

Limited choice leads to Sevens feeling constricted and restrained. They see life as full of possibilities, so they feel they are missing out on something when they are unable to try out any of the opportunities that they see.

As a result, they may act out and unwillingly cause conflicts around them.

#4. Criticism

Criticism triggers the Sevens deeply, despite their careless and self-assured attitude. That’s because they are not good at handling unpleasant emotions. Therefore, when they feel like someone is judging them or looking down on their ideas, they are prone to react in a defensive and confrontational manner.

#5. Avoidance of Unpleasant Emotions

Avoiding unpleasant emotions is a tactic Sevens perfect early in their lives. However, they can’t avoid dealing with emotions forever. So, when all the things they’ve tried to escape for so long accumulate and become impossible to ignore, Sevens become stressed and may explode in different ways.

With the sole purpose of alleviating the tension that they are experiencing, they may pick fights with people who are close to them, cause chaos at work, or use any excuse to initiate a conflict.

How Enneagram Type 7 Handles Conflict

Enneagram Type 7 handles conflicts in a creative manner. They avoid direct confrontation whenever that’s possible, as they seek to avoid unpleasant feelings and tough conversations. Since they are open-minded and innovative thinkers, Sevens often show a great ability to raise different options for resolving the issue at hand.

In addition, Sevens are very optimistic and genuinely benevolent, so they eagerly seek to resolve the conflict in a way that is least hurtful for everyone involved, including themselves, often demonstrating seven leadership qualities in their approach. However, if their positive self-image is jeopardized by the conflict, they may act in a self-centered manner, protecting only their own interests.

Moreover, while they are great at anticipating possibilities and finding new perspectives, they can be impatient with details. For this reason, they may make exaggerated promises during conflict, as they tend to act on a whim without following through on all the practical details.

In addition, it is important to note that Enneagram 7 reactions to conflict also depend significantly on their subtype, which is defined by their Enneagram wing. Each Enneagram type can have a wing, meaning each can show some traits of one of the two neighboring types. In the case of Seven, those are Types Six and Eight.

Enneagram Seven with a Six wing (7w6) is way more anxious about conflicts and, therefore, more compliant and ready to compromise. Meanwhile, Enneagram Seven with an Eight wing (7w8) is highly confrontational, bold, and direct, and they are more likely to insist on having their way.

How Enneagram Type 7 Resolves Conflict

Enneagram Type 7 resolves conflicts by finding compromise and innovative solutions. Sevens are creative problem solvers, and they often see conflicts as creative challenges. Therefore, they are likely to brainstorm multiple solutions and suggest approaches that no one has envisioned as they aim to find the most efficient way forward.

Furthermore, their optimism inspires them to see conflicts as opportunities for growth and development. That’s why they always seek out silver linings and are open to compromising with other people as long as they don’t feel pressured or constrained.

In addition, though they are known to evade serious conversations and generally tend to avoid everything that feels unpleasant, Enneagram 7 in conflict addresses the issue directly. Nevertheless, if the situation gets too heated, they might resort to using humor to diffuse tension.

What’s particularly interesting about Enneagram 7 in conflict is that they often show a lot of empathy for people involved in it, even though they are not generally recognized as compassionate types.

How to Resolve Conflict With Enneagram 7

Resolving conflict with Enneagram 7 requires you to keep the atmosphere lighthearted, understand Seven’s triggers, and approach conflict resolution calmly.

Here are a few essential tactics that will help you communicate effectively with Enneagram 7 in conflict:

• Don’t give them ultimatums. Enneagram 7 in conflict already feels a bit constrained, and the moment they feel their freedom is jeopardized, they begin to act irrationally. Therefore, don’t pressure them into making choices. Instead, calmly present them with options and possibilities and allow them to come up with their own suggestions, too.
• Use humor. By showing a sense of humor, you’ll not only lighten up the atmosphere but also tickle Seven’s creativity and inspire them to come up with innovative solutions.
• Concentrate on the positive aspects of the conflict. Seven’s tolerance for frustration and negative feelings isn’t high. So, if you try to scare them into making certain decisions by presenting them with the worst possible outcomes, you will only make them run away.

How Enneagram 7 Can Better Deal with Conflict: 4 Tips

Enneagram 7 can better deal with conflict by following a few essential tips that will help them regulate their emotions in a more mature and efficient manner. If you’re an Enneagram 7, here are some key strategies you could use in conflict:

• Set boundaries. Though you are assertive and generally have no trouble communicating with other people, you are prone to burnout as you resort to workaholism to avoid dealing with your feelings. By setting clear boundaries, you will make more room for yourself to process your emotions and, therefore, face conflicts calmly.
• Work on your frustration tolerance. Your low frustration threshold is just a pattern you adopted as a result of your childhood wounds. In reality, you are more than capable of dealing with all kinds of frustrations effectively. Practice sitting with discomfort and allow yourself to go through all the unpleasant emotions related to conflict.
• Practice active listening. You are often so eager to resolve the conflict as quickly as possible, which other people may interpret as a lack of respect for their needs. Use your empathy and listen to what others have to say carefully. You’ll not only improve your relationships this way but also make room for different perspectives and innovative solutions.
• Use your strengths. Your creativity, optimism, and problem-solving skills are great assets in any conflict. Use them to overcome resistance other participants may show, and you’ll turn conflict into an inspiring brainstorming session!

Take our free Enneagram test and learn how to handle any conflict with grace.

Key Takeaways

Enneagram 7 in conflict can show all the strengths of their personality type as long as they are mature enough to control and regulate their emotions in a healthy way. So, while there are many strategies they can implement when facing a conflict, none will be successful unless they have overcome their core weakness, which is low frustration tolerance.

However, considering all the talents, sense of humor, and relentless optimism typical of Type Seven, they are very likely to grow from conflicts.