Enneagram 8 Friendship: An Irresistible Challenge

Enneagram 8 friendships are as strong as a rock because Eights, also known as the Challengers, carefully pick people whom they decide to let closer in. Due to their trust issues, they find it hard to rely on others, so their friends usually go through a long testing phase before Eights feel ready to open up.

In this article, we’ll explore what makes Enneagram 8 friendship unique, why Challengers are great friends, and how their friendship is earned.

What Are Enneagram 8s Like as Friends: 4 Key Traits

The key traits of Enneagram 8 friends stem from their strong personalities and loyal nature. Here are their most prominent qualities in friendships:

#1. Protective Attitude

Eights are always ready to stand up for those they love. Fiercely protective, they never hesitate to defend their friends and stand by their side through thick and thin. Their friendship circles often give off a specific ‘Godfather’ vibe where they usually play the role of the patriarch, who knows everything about everyone.

Eights generally bring a lot of emotional charge and intensity into their relationships, and friendships are no exception. Moreover, friendships are very important to them, and they see their closest friends as a part of their family.

#2. Honesty

Eights always walk the line between rudeness and honesty, but despite their rough appearance and occasionally tough words, they are genuinely benevolent.

The reason why they speak out their opinions and insights so bluntly isn’t that they aim to insult or hurt their friends’ feelings. They simply believe that honesty is the best policy and that they are doing others a favor by being so direct.

Generally, friends who are close to them learn to appreciate this trait without feeling threatened by it.

#3. Empowerment

Eights are very independent, determined, and aware of what they want from life. They genuinely don’t understand people who are not as ambitious as they are or people who are afraid to go after their dreams. For this reason, they instinctively encourage their friends to pursue their passions and achieve success.

Plus, they are willing to generously extend their resources to support their friends in the pursuit of their goals; their encouragement is real and doesn’t stop at inspiring words.

#4. Loyalty

Though their independence doesn’t make them look promising in terms of loyalty, Eights are deeply loyal to their friends. Moreover, they can’t forgive betrayal, and they expect the same level of loyalty and commitment from their friends, too.

Plus, precisely because they are so independent, they can remain loyal to their friends despite being separated from them for a long time or not being able to stay in contact for some reason. They maintain their autonomy yet never jeopardize their loyalty to their friends.

3 Key Strengths of The Challenger as a Friend

The strengths of the Challenger as a friend are a reflection of their strong-willed and resilient nature.

Here are some of their most admirable friendship qualities:

#1. Guidance

Eights are very realistic, and they have a strong sense of direction and purpose, which, aside from their natural charisma, make them excellent leaders. Their leadership ability also brings clarity into their friendships, especially when their friends need guidance and practical advice.

Eights will generously share their insights, experience, and knowledge to encourage you to find your path and achieve your goals. Plus, they will never allow you to wallow in self-despair in case you experience any kind of bereavement. Eights will lift you up and show you how to keep on fighting for what you want until you get it.

#2. Reliability

There’s not much room for haziness and misunderstandings with Type 8. They are one of the most reliable Enneagram types, and their word is golden. If they decide to accept you as their friend and you have managed to build an emotional bond with them, Eights are ready to go to the ends of the earth to support you, protect you, and be there for you.

Plus, despite their tough image, Challengers are very warm and affectionate friends who enjoy showing their affection using kind words, hugs and embraces.

#3. Courage

Eights have a strong sense of justice, and they are known for their courage in standing up for what’s right, no matter the consequences. Their friends enjoy the same treatment from their side in the sense that Eights are always willing to go the extra mile to defend their friends in crisis.

In addition, Eight’s courage inspires their friends to be bolder, push boundaries, and take risks in life. Whether they have to face the uncomfortable truth or push through other kinds of life challenges, Eights will unflinchingly stick to their friends, never leaving them to battle on their own.

3 Potential Issues of Being Friends With Enneagram Type 8

The potential issues of being friends with Enneagram Type 8 come from their intense, dominating nature.

With that in mind, here are the typical Enneagram 8 friendship challenges:

Aggression

Eights belong to the Enneagram Gut triad, meaning their core emotion is anger, which they express without inhibitions, especially when they are under stress.

As a result, they can be very confrontational and even aggressive in their approach to specific issues of their concern, and their friends may feel threatened and like they have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid pissing them off.

Overbearing attitude

The Challenger has a need to be in control at all times, which can cause tension in Enneagram 8 friendships as their friends may feel frustrated and perceive Eights as overbearing. Though they are generally rational and objective, they may have tunnel vision regarding their friends due to the emotional bond they share.

Trust issues

It is extremely difficult for Eights to be vulnerable even with their closest friends because of their trust issues that usually originate from their early childhood. As a result, they may question their friends’ loyalty even when there’s no apparent, objective reason for any kind of doubt, simply because something triggered their core fear of betrayal.

3 Strategies for Building a Stronger Friendship with the Enneagram Type 8

Building a stronger friendship with the Enneagram Type 8 requires tact and emotional maturity.

Here are some essential tips for fostering Enneagram 8 friendship:

#1. Be Consistent

The first and essential step for building a strong Enneagram 8 friendship is earning the Challenger’s trust. They are not likely to open up emotionally before they are completely assured they can rely on you. So, there’s no other way to earn their trust but to be truthful, honest, and consistent in your words and actions.

This means that you’ll have to stand up to Eights in some moments, but don’t worry; Eights appreciate people who are direct and bold in communication.

#2. Show Kindness and Compassion

Eights seem like they don’t need anyone to give them a pat on the shoulder and praise them, but that’s only because they aren’t used to being praised and nurtured.

However, genuine warmth and kindness are precisely what they need from their friends to encourage them to open up emotionally and show their vulnerability.

Be mindful, though, as the key is to balance an honest and direct approach with kindness and affection. Otherwise, Eights might interpret your behavior as an attempt at manipulation, which is a form of betrayal for them.

#3. Respect Their Independence

Despite their need for loyalty and commitment, Eights also need plenty of space in any relationship, including their friendships. It is very important for Eights not to feel controlled or smothered, so make sure you give them enough room to enjoy their independence.

In addition, you also need to show the Challenger friend that you are not overly dependent on them for any kind of support. By showing them that you can stand on your own, you’ll earn their respect and strengthen your friendship. Eights don’t tolerate codependency in any relationships, including their friendships.

How Can the Challenger Be a Better Friend?

The Challenger can be an amazing friend, as there’s always room for improvement. Plus, by becoming better friends, they are also investing in personal development, which is something that inspires them.

So, here are some of the best ways in which the Challenger can be a better friend:

#1. Show More Compassion in Friendship

Eights tend to expect the same level of toughness that they have from their friends, which is why they don’t show much compassion in friendship. Though they are very loyal, protective, and supportive, they often fail to show genuine empathy in Enneagram 8 friendships.

However, by showing more compassion and willingness to listen and acknowledge friends' feelings before offering instant advice, Eights will develop deeper emotional intimacy with their friends.

#2. Relinquish Control

While it feels perfectly natural for Eights to take charge in any situation, they need to understand that friendships need to be based on collaboration and equality. Practically, this means they need to let their friends make their own choices and take the lead in the relationship from time to time.

#3. Show Vulnerability

The Challenger is known for their bold risk-taking; however, they are exceptionally cautious when it comes to showing their vulnerability.

By applying their boldness and readiness to take risks in their emotional lives, Eights will learn that there is actually strength in vulnerability and open the door to greater emotional closeness with their friends.

#4. Manage Friendship Conflicts with More Tact

While you may see a heated discussion as a healthy and inspiring debate, your friends may perceive it as a stressful and unpredictable conflict. You need to learn to be less confrontational and more tactful in the way you handle differences in opinions with your friends.

Otherwise, conflicts will constantly threaten to hinder the development of an emotional bond between you and your friends.

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Key Takeaways

So, it is safe to say that Enneagram 8 friendships are intense, inspiring, and very challenging at the same time! Nevertheless, it is a great advantage to have such a powerful friend in your life.

With that in mind, let’s round off with some key insights about Enneagram 8 friendships:

• Eights are very protective of their friends and treat them like they are a part of their family, readily standing up for them in crisis.
• Enneagram 8 friendships tend to be stable and lasting because Eights are loyal and value loyalty in return.
• Eights need to show more compassion, flexibility, and tact to reinforce their friendships and build stronger emotional bonds.