Enneagram 6 Friendship: The Secret of Lasting Connections

Enneagram 6 friendships are built on trust, respect, and empathy, which is why they are so lasting and stable. Enneagram Type Six, also known as the Loyalist, invests a lot of energy into their relationships with others, and friendships are very important to them. For this reason, they choose their friends very carefully.

In this article, we’ll explore the strengths and challenges of Enneagram 6 friendships, analyze what makes Sixes great friends, and how they can become even better. Let’s dive in!

What Are Enneagram Sixes Like as Friends: 4 Key Traits

If you have an Enneagram Six as a friend, you can consider yourself very lucky because they are incredibly dedicated and caring. Here are the four key Type 6 traits that explain what makes Enneagram 6 friendships unique:

#1. Reliability

Sixes are motivated by an intense need for security, so they strive to make others feel safe around them. That is why they are always reliable, and their friends know they can depend on Sixes no matter what. Once you earn Sixes’ trust, you can be sure they will never leave you, regardless of how challenging the situation may be.

In addition, they often have a stabilizing effect on their friends, as their calm and reassuring presence helps their friends get their lives together, too.

#2. Compassion

Though they look very reserved at first sight, Sixes are actually deeply emotional and empathize with everyone, even with people who are not so close or dear to them. So, it doesn’t come as a surprise that they are particularly sensitive to their friends’ feelings. Sixes’ friends know that they can always turn to Sixes for understanding and support without judgment.

In addition, aside from providing their loved ones with care and affection, Sixes also show their compassion by offering practical help. They always have at least one possible and realistic solution to offer when their friends are in trouble.

#3. Devotion

Sixes take their relationships very seriously and invest a lot of energy into their friendships. Earning their trust isn’t easy, but once you earn it, they will commit to the connection fully. They are not the type of friend to disappear when they fall in love or are busy at work; Sixes are always there for those they love, no matter how hectic their lives may be.

That’s because the sense of belonging and community is very important to them, and they are aware of the fact that maintaining friendships requires attention and effort, just like all other relationships do.

#4. Thoughtfulness

The Loyalist is very detail-oriented in general, but in terms of friendships, their attention to detail transforms into exceptional thoughtfulness. Sixes never forget their friends’ birthdays, anniversaries, or important things they shared and often think well in advance about the kind of gifts they’ll prepare for the people they love.

Plus, they don’t even need any special excuse to do something nice for their friends. For example, your Enneagram Six friend will remember that you love cacti and buy you one just because it was on sale while they were buying groceries.

3 Unique Strengths of Enneagram Type 6 as a Friend

The strengths of Enneagram Type 6 as a friend are evident in the way they form meaningful, deep, and close friendships. They are one of the most reliable Enneagram types, and so are their friendships. Here are some of their top strengths:

#1. Honesty

Sixes are honest but never in a way that would be hurtful or overwhelming to their friends. They have a lot of tact and know how to tell the hardest truths in a gentle, caring, and kind manner. Their friends often ask for their opinion because they know that Sixes won’t tell them just what they want to hear but what they need to hear, too.

Thanks to their honesty, Sixes build their friendships on very stable foundations and usually get honesty in return.

#2. Trustworthiness

Sixes offer a strong sense of security in relationships and are the kind of friend that sticks with you through thick and thin. There’s no secret you can’t share with them. They’ll never make you feel ashamed or sorry for exposing yourself. On the contrary, they feel honored that you can be vulnerable with them.

That’s because they intuitively understand the feelings and needs of others and instinctively provide them with comfort.

#3. Support and Protection

Sixes are very protective of the people they love. They are ready to go out of their way to make their friends feel cared for, accepted, and safe. From offering practical help in the form of financial aid or services to giving advice and providing guidance, Sixes will never leave their friends feeling stranded.

Their support is genuine, warm, and powerful, and they know how to create a safe space for their friends in which they can share all their feelings and experiences.

4 Notable Challenges of Being Friends With the Loyalist

Though Sixes are ideal friends in many ways, Enneagram 6 friendships can be challenging. Let’s see the key issues that typically arise in these friendships:

• Trust issues: Sixes are prone to paranoia, especially when under stress, and it takes an exceptionally long time for them to learn to trust and rely on someone. For this reason, their friends may sometimes feel like their loyalty and trustworthiness are being tested without any real reason for that. Their lack of trust may also make them too cautious and anxious, hindering emotional intimacy in Enneagram 6 friendships.
• Reluctance to change: Changes trigger anxiety in Sixes and make them feel deeply insecure, reminding them of how unpredictable life can be. Their entire life strategy is directed toward ensuring stability and permanence, so even positive changes may make them feel uncomfortable. In Enneagram 6 friendships, this can manifest as a too-intense reaction to their friends changing careers, getting married, and going through similar big life changes.
• Smothering: Sixes are very nurturing and caring friends, but sometimes their care can be too much for their friends, who may find them intrusive. That is why it’s important to foster healthy personal boundaries in friendships.
• Lack of spontaneity: Loyalists like to have everything planned to detail and are prone to anxiety whenever something doesn’t go according to their plans. Their structured nature makes them highly reliable, but they may appear too uptight when flexibility and spontaneity are needed. As a result, Enneagram 6 friendships may lack the element of fun.

3 Tips on How to Build a Strong Friendship with the Enneagram Type 6

Building a strong friendship with an Enneagram 6 type requires serious commitment.

Here are some practical tips that can help you reinforce the Enneagram 6 friendship:

#1. Provide a Sense of Stability

It is important for Sixes to see that they can trust you because they struggle with opening up and relying on others. For this reason, you need to be consistent in your words and actions and make Sixes feel safe and protected with you.

So, don’t cancel your plans at the last minute, don’t be late for your friendly gatherings, and show that you are serious and committed to building the foundation of trust in your Enneagram 6 friendship.

#2. Reinforce Their Self-Confidence

Sixes tend to be very insecure about their qualities, skills, and competence, regardless of their success. If you have managed to earn their trust, use it to reinforce their self-confidence by recognizing their unique talents and skills.

Instead of reassuring them that they have nothing to be insecure about, focus on praising their abilities and achievements and don’t mention insecurities. The more confident Sixes feel the more they will be open to having fun and being playful.

#3. Provide Compassion

Just telling a Type Six not to overthink and worry is far from helping them. Instead of pointing out the obvious and giving them standard advice, try to empathize with their worries and show compassion for their fears. The more understanding you give them, the more grounded and connected they will feel.

This feeling of belonging and connection is far more effective in soothing their anxieties than any practical advice you may give them.

Becoming a Better Friend: 3 Important Tips for the Loyalist

Though Enneagram Type Six is an amazing friend, there’s always room for growth. With that in mind, here are the essential tips that can help a Loyalist become a better friend and foster healthy Enneagram 6 friendships:

#1. Embrace Flexibility

Being a friend isn’t a job or duty; it is a connection built on many differences and similarities, time spent together, and spontaneous interactions. You’re missing out on the fun and joy of spontaneous exchanges by insisting too much on structure and predictability in your friendships.

Allow yourself to relax, don’t stress over every detail, stop your anxious thoughts, allow the connection to develop naturally, and enjoy the simple, everyday moments. Your friends will welcome your relaxed attitude and will feel more at ease around you as a result.

#2. Vocalize Your Needs

Similarly to Enneagram Type Two, you also tend to focus too much on others’ needs and neglect your own. This can lead to unnecessary tension and even conflict in friendships because you tend to compromise too much over things that are important to you.

Instead, communicate your values and feel free to insist on them without feeling like you are at risk of abandonment. Those who leave because you didn’t want to compromise your values shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

Sharing your feelings and needs comes with a risk, but remember that it also pays off in the form of honest, meaningful friendships built on trust.

#3. Avoid Playing the Savior

You tend to take on a parental role in friendships, where you constantly try to protect and save your friends even when they don’t ask for that kind of help. It is essential for you to recognize when you fall into this unhealthy behavioral pattern because by behaving this way, you can push people who are close to you away and make them feel like they are charity cases that need your care.

The best way to overcome this pattern is to understand who you actually want to save. Usually, people who tend to play saviors too much crave someone to save them, so, in a way, by saving others, they’re actually saving themselves.

Don’t know your Enneagram type yet?

Take our free Enneagram test now and start your journey of self-discovery!

Key Takeaways

So, it is safe to say that there are many advantages to having an Enneagram 6 friend. Enneagram 6 friendships are exceptionally stable, as Sixes create a strong sense of security in their connections.

With that in mind, let’s wrap up by highlighting some key insights about Enneagram 6 friendships:

• Enneagram 6 seeks stability, reciprocity, honesty, and reliability in all their relationships, and their friendships are built on mutual trust and respect.
• Loyalist friends need to allow themselves to be more spontaneous in their friendships and embrace flexibility to enjoy the natural development of emotional intimacy.
• Being a friend of Sixes requires consistency, honesty, and compassion.