Enneagram 6 in Conflict: What Triggers a Loyalist?

Enneagram 6 in conflict generally seeks to resolve the conflict as peacefully as possible. However, things are never simple with the emotionally complex, detail-oriented Loyalists, who are known for their tendency to expect the worst. Despite their best intentions, they may feel overwhelmed by the weight of trying to resolve everything in a positive light.

In this article, we’ll explain how Enneagram 6 in conflict behaves, what they need, what triggers them, and how they can overcome disagreements in the best way.

Let’s dive in!

What Is the Enneagram Type 6 Like?

Enneagram Type 6, also known as the Loyalist, is considered to be the most reliable, hardworking, and responsible of the Enneagram types. The need for security is what motivates these individuals most.

Sixes perceive life as unpredictable and, therefore, crave stability and safety, which they try to ensure by making meticulous plans for the future. They are also very fond of rules, procedures, and tradition in general, as these instill a sense of security in them.

Their emotional landscape is very delicate and complex, though they often come across as somewhat reserved and aloof at first sight. Deep inside, they actually enjoy being a part of their community, and a sense of belonging is very important to them.

In general, Sixes are family-oriented, cautious, and responsible individuals who take life seriously and make compassionate and loyal friends and partners. Depending on their subtype, which is defined by their Enneagram wing, they may display some traits of their neighboring types, Five or Seven.

A Six with a Five wing (6w5) will be even more intellectually oriented and emotionally reserved, while a Six with a Seven wing (6w7) may have a counterphobic attitude, which causes them to be easily mistyped.

5 Triggers That Cause Enneagram 6 to Get Into Conflicts

Enneagram 6 conflict triggers all boil down to their fear of uncertainty. However, this fear comes in various forms, and therefore, the triggers can be very diverse.

Here are the most significant ones:

#1. Unpredictable Circumstances

Unpredictable circumstances are deeply triggering for Enneagram 6 in conflict.

Sixes do their best to anticipate every possible worst-case scenario and plan everything in advance. Therefore, when, despite all the odds, they find themselves in unpredicted circumstances, they become overwhelmed with fear and anxiety.

As a consequence, they become highly irritable and, therefore, prone to conflicts. They may also unconsciously seek someone to blame for the situation, which people around them may find very provoking.

#2. Lack of Guidance and Support

Lack of guidance and support is one of the worst things that can happen to an Enneagram 6 in conflict because they are so dependent on it.

Sixes like to rely on external authority for support and guidance. These authorities can be important people in their lives, systems, and organizations. Either way, when they feel betrayed by them, they become angry and resentful.

As a result, they resort to passive-aggressive strategies to provoke conflicts and relieve the anxiety they feel.

#3. Change and Innovations

Change and innovations trigger Enneagram 6 in conflict since they are one of the most traditional and conservative Enneagram types.

They are loyal to tradition because it gives them a sense of control over life. Therefore, when they are forced to accept changes or innovations of any kind, they are likely to react with disapproval, no matter how reasonable and positive they may be.

As a result, they may try to resist changes and behave defensively, causing conflicts around them. On the one hand, they may feel triggered by those who readily and eagerly embrace those changes, and on the other, their resistance to change may provoke conflicts.

#4. Paranoid Projections

Paranoid projections are typical for Enneagram 6 in conflict. Sixes are known for their pessimism and tendency to see the worst in other people and situations. Since they are also hypersensitive, it is not rare for them to misinterpret other people’s words or behaviors as threatening.

However, they do not openly communicate their doubts. Instead, they develop all kinds of plots and conspiracies about those people or events, projecting their anxieties onto them. This causes them to behave in a defensive manner toward those people, which easily leads to conflicts and misunderstandings.

#5. Disregarding the Rules

Disregarding the rules is deeply unsettling for Enneagram 6 in conflict since, for them, everything must be done according to plan—even the most mundane tasks. They get irritated with impulsive and careless people who either do not respect their rules or actively encourage them to break them.

Moreover, they find people who evade, bend, or openly break the rules threatening on many levels. They perceive them as unpredictable and, therefore, dangerous since, for them, rules are the holy grail of their everyday lives.

Enneagram Type 6 During Conflict

Enneagram Type 6 during conflict doesn’t express their feelings directly and openly; their first reaction is to seek reassurance and validation. They will also thoroughly analyze and examine all the facts related to the conflict before they decide how they will act on it.

Moreover, they are prone to questioning and doubting other people’s intentions, which they often show through skeptical remarks and cynicism. Plus, these individuals may also be very critical of other people, as they attempt to decide whether they can trust them.

Defensive reactions are also typical of Enneagram Six in conflict. Using intellectualization and pseudo-rationalization, they may insist on their viewpoints and argue ardently because they feel insecure.

If their efforts to reestablish peace by asserting their viewpoints fail, Sixes will withdraw from the conflict and seek comfort in people they trust or in routines and chores.

So, the bottom line is that Enneagram 6 in conflict tends to become rather anxious and insecure and needs emotional support to get through the situation successfully.

How Enneagram Type 6 Resolves Conflict

Enneagram 6 resolves conflict by finding support and resolving the anxiety around the conflict. Needless to say, such situations are deeply triggering for Sixes in general because they activate their fear of insecurity and abandonment.

On the one hand, they are afraid that if they stand up and voice their concerns directly, other people may abandon them. On the other hand, they fear that the conflict itself may permanently change and damage the life that they are used to, so they feel the need to solve it no matter what.

Therefore, by seeking reassurance and validation from close people and relying on their support, Sixes find the strength to overcome disagreements. Only when they reestablish the feeling of security, which is the first thing they lose in a conflict, can they change their perspective and approach the dispute in a more reasonable and practical manner.

Taking the Big Five test will help you understand your Big Five personality traits and also provide valuable insights into how you handle conflict and stress.

How to Approach Resolving Conflict With Enneagram Type 6

The best way to approach resolving conflict with Enneagram Type 6 is to react calmly. It is essential to create an atmosphere of safety and stability for Sixes so that they can see things from rational and emotional perspectives.

Here are a few efficient strategies you can rely on in such situations:

• Offer reassurance and support. Try to understand their fears and assure them that no matter how the conflict ends, it will not jeopardize your relationship with them. Listen to them attentively and encourage them to voice their concerns before you approach the issue at hand.
• Be precise, practical, and clear. The best way to relieve Six’s fears is to address every critical aspect of the issue directly, name practical solutions, and be transparent about the reasons behind those solutions.
• Define and state your expectations. The better you define and clarify the situation and your expectations, the more secure the Six will feel. And the more secure they feel, the easier it gets to talk with them and overcome the disagreement.
• Collaboratively devise a strategy for the resolution. Presenting Six with well-thought-out plans and strategies is a surefire way to earn their approval. After all, they always feel more confident and at ease when things are planned out.

4 Tips & Strategies for Enneagram 6s Dealing With Conflict

Here are some of the best tips and strategies for Enneagram 6 in conflict, based on the Enneagram test and theory:

#1. Seek Internal Validation Instead of External

You tend to rely too much on external authority, which can never provide the kind of security that you can find within yourself.

It is important for you to recognize your strengths and abilities, foster self-confidence, and learn to rely on yourself instead of seeking security in other people and circumstances. The key to achieving this is to shift from external to internal validation.

#2. Empower Yourself

Instead of analyzing all the things that can go wrong, you should look back and notice all the things that you have done right. You don’t give yourself enough credit for your successes and are quick to doubt yourself, while in reality, you are more than capable of handling challenges and conflicts competently.

#3. Speak Up

You need to let go of the fear that other people will abandon you if you dare to confront them directly. Understanding that conflicts are also an opportunity for growth and development, both in a personal and professional sense, is the road to greater closeness in intimate relationships and improved efficiency in business for you.

Master the Art of Resolving Conflicts

Embark on the road of self-discovery and take our free Enneagram test to gain useful tools for resolving every conflict with confidence!

Key Takeaways

Enneagram 6 in conflict displays a range of behaviors that sometimes escalate and may trigger unhealthy patterns and defense mechanisms. However, thanks to their analytical, rational, and cautious nature, Sixes can learn to resolve conflicts efficiently and avoid all the stress they commonly experience.

In conclusion, it is essential for Sixes to acknowledge that every conflict has the potential to be a wonderful opportunity for growth rather than a threat to safety.