Enneagram 9 Males: Everything About ‘The Peacemaker’ Men

An Enneagram 9 male, also known as the Peacemaker, has the aura of a protective father bear. He is strong yet kind and considerate of other people’s feelings. Though he is not physically sociable or extroverted, people love him because they feel good around him.

In this article, we’ll explore the strengths and weaknesses of an Enneagram 9 male to understand how he handles his gender role and the social stereotypes associated with it.

Enneagram 9 Male: Main Traits & Characteristics

Enneagram 9 males are driven by the desire for harmony and inner peace. They are calm, balanced, and deeply compassionate individuals who make sure everyone around them feels welcome and accepted.

Their tactful and diplomatic approach to communication makes them exceptional at handling conflicts. They easily make connections, as they are friendly and easygoing. Moreover, they are also very stable and find it natural to provide support and encouragement to others.

While they aren’t particularly prone to tradition, they accept it without any major issues, as they generally tend to go with the flow rather than impose their attitudes and standards.

It is also important to note that the Enneagram theory recognizes two Enneagram 9 male subtypes, which, depending on their Enneagram wing, can have traits of types Eight and One.

An Enneagram 9 male with an Eight wing (9w8) will be more energetic, assertive, and ambitious, whereas an Enneagram 9 male with a One wing (9w1) is a self-sacrificing altruistic idealist.

4 Strengths of Enneagram 9 Males

The strengths of Enneagram 9 males generally stem from their deeply understanding nature. Here are some of the most notable Enneagram 9 male characteristics:

#1. Conflict Management Ability

Enneagram 9 males are very intuitive, and they easily grasp the underlying needs and feelings of other people. This allows them to understand the real reason behind every conflict and address all the underlying issues without jeopardizing anyone’s sense of integrity or making anyone feel small.

Thanks to this ability, people love having them around, as they bring a sense of serenity and calmness, resolving potential disagreements gracefully.

#2. Flexibility

Type 9 males are highly adaptable and easily fit in all kinds of environments. Open-minded and curious, they feel at ease going with the flow and enjoying new experiences despite the fact that they are not actively seeking them.

Their flexibility allows them to get along easily with very different people. This is also the reason why they have so many friends, even though they are not particularly extroverted.

#3. Stability

Stability is very important to Enneagram 9 males, and they do their best to protect and preserve it both within themselves and in their environment. They understand the subtle connection between stability and harmony, so they foster harmony around them in all kinds of subtle and non-intrusive ways.

Their friends know they can rely on them for support and encouragement at all times, considering they are usually the most stable people in their circles.

#4. Understanding

There’s nothing an Enneagram Type 9 male can’t forgive and understand. They are truly open-minded, non-judgmental, and progressive in their view of life and the world. For this reason, people instinctively feel they can relax and be who they are around them.

As a result, they become wise, and their circle of close friends grows constantly.

4 Weaknesses of Enneagram 9 Males

The weaknesses of Enneagram 9 males result from their lack of will to stand up for themselves. Here are some of the most challenging Enneagram 9 male traits:

#1. Lack of Assertiveness

Though they have no problem defending and standing up for other people, vocalizing their own needs is extremely hard for Enneagram 9 males. They often struggle not only to express themselves but also to recognize and identify their own needs, let alone stand up for them.

As a result, they tend to assume a macho attitude and give off an impression of invulnerability, whereas they are actually more sensitive than most men.

#2. Inertia

Since they tend to repress their emotions and struggle with asserting their own needs, Enneagram 9 males easily lose touch with their authentic desires. That is why they become lethargic and inert, feeling like nothing they do makes an actual difference to them.

They are also prone to procrastination for the same reason, and they usually need someone or something to lift them up.

#3. Anger Internalization

While they act like nothing could trigger them to get angry, Enneagram 9 males are more than capable of feeling real rage. However, since their priority is maintaining peace around them, they instinctively react to their anger by redirecting it toward themselves. Therefore, their anger has many faces, and none of them is easy to recognize.

Even their lethargy and inability to move in any direction are often direct consequences of internalized anger.

#4. Conflict Avoidance

Enneagram 9 males are great at resolving conflicts in general, but when it comes to conflicts in which they are personally involved, they would rather withdraw than seek real solutions. In turn, they agree to many things that they don’t really like and are capable of suffering in silence for a very long time.

This often confuses people around them because they usually have an image of an emotionally mature person who handles conflicts easily. However, when Type 9 men are personally involved in a conflict, it triggers their fear of abandonment, and they feel the urge to withdraw and smooth things out at all costs to prevent abandonment.

3 Ways an Enneagram 9 Male Can Grow

Enneagram 9 males can grow primarily by learning to focus more on themselves than on others. Here are a few effective strategies:

#1. Learn Assertive Communication

The key to mastering assertive communication lies in overcoming the core beliefs that hinder it. For Enneagram 9 males, the core belief that prevents them from communicating their needs and desires assertively is that their feelings don’t matter as much as those of other people.

So, Enneagram 9 males need to understand that unless they start valuing their own needs as much as they value others, they can’t live an authentic life. When they start believing that their feelings matter, learning assertive communication techniques will be very easy.

#2. Learn Healthy Anger Management Strategies

It is essential for both the psychological and physical health of the Enneagram 9 male to learn not to repress and internalize their anger. To do that, they need to understand that anger and assertiveness are directly linked.

Moreover, anger isn’t a ‘bad’ emotion but an emotion that pushes us to draw a line, demand change, and assert our rights, needs, and wishes.

When an Enneagram 9 male understands that anger doesn’t have to be destructive but, on the contrary, useful and beneficial for our personal growth, he will be open to learning healthy anger management strategies.

Plus, the more they are in tune with their anger and able to express it constructively, the more they will enjoy their relationships, as they will be more authentic in them.

#3. Pursue Ambitions

Enneagram 9 males have many ideas and passions, but they often lack the perseverance to pursue them because taking care of others takes up a lot of their energy. Therefore, they need to set clear, feasible goals, create a strategy for realizing them, and follow through, regardless of how tempting and easy it might be to simply quit at some moments.

This also means they will have to learn to ‘say no’ to people and things that only waste their energy and give them nothing in return so that they can focus on their pursuits.

Enneagram 9 Men in Relationships

Enneagram 9 male relationships are usually very stable. They value deep emotional connection and find it important to be with someone who won’t pressure them into anything.

They are deeply supportive, thoughtful, and caring partners who provide their loved ones with plenty of affection once they feel safe with them. Moreover, Enneagram 9 male in love is the most devoted partner anyone could ever wish for.

Enneagram 9 Male Compatibility

Enneagram 9 males easily get along with all Enneagram types because they are highly adaptable. However, some combinations are more promising than others, such as:

• Enneagram 9 and Enneagram 1: One's initiative and passion inspire Nines to pursue their goals and be more assertive, while the warmth of Nines soothes One’s anxieties. They are very kind and respectful toward each other and have everything they need to build a firm relationship.
• Enneagram 9 and Enneagram 3: Three’s energy and enthusiasm uplift Nines, who enjoy supporting their ambitious partner. The stability and warmth of Nines makes Threes feel stronger, while the dynamic Threes bring excitement into Nines’ lives.
• Enneagram 9 and Enneagram 8: The tactful Nines know how to approach Eights and win their trust, and Eights values Nine's warmth, understanding, and quiet support. They complement each other well despite many differences.

How to Interact With Enneagram 9 Male

Interacting with an Enneagram 9 male is very smooth because they are very agreeable and friendly. They might not initiate conversations, but they readily accept other’s initiative and can easily talk to people from all walks of life. Moreover, they are exceptional listeners who know exactly what and when to say to soothe and comfort others.

Therefore, the best way to communicate with Nines is to be respectful, honest, and kind. They aren’t used to getting the gentle treatment that they so generously give to others, so just treat them the way they treat you, and you’ll never have a problem with them.

How Can Enneagram 9 Males Build Stronger Relationships?

Enneagram 9 males can build stronger relationships by learning to articulate their needs, adopting a more assertive attitude, and showing more initiative. It is also very important for them not to avoid conflicts and to understand that conflicts actually lead to greater emotional intimacy.

In addition, since they are prone to codependency, they need to ensure that they do not neglect their own interests and pursuits due to the relationship.

Best Careers for Enneagram 9 Males & Working Style

Enneagram 9 males are great team players. They enjoy working with other people and easily adapt to different professional environments. Their compassionate spirit makes them great at helping professions. They are also great in creative fields as they are very open-minded and imaginative.

Bearing this in mind, here are some of the best Enneagram 9 male careers:

• Counselor
• Therapist
• Psychologist
• Physiotherapist
• Occupational Therapist
• Social Worker
• Paramedic
• Talent Manager
• Change Manager
• Teacher
• Artist
• Actor
• Singer
• Painter
• Writer

Discover Your True Self!

Take our free Enneagram test to find out your Enneagram type and create the life you desire!

Key Takeaways

It is safe to say that, even though they do not defy traditional male stereotypes, Enneagram 9 males are still a rare kind of men!

Let’s round off by highlighting some of their key traits:

• Enneagram 9 males are calm, balanced, and compassionate, always ready to listen, support, and comfort the people they care about.
• They are great at handling conflicts and easily find the most efficient ways to restore peace and harmony in their environment.

The strength of the Enneagram 9 man is in his emotional intelligence, which allows him to show firmness and stamina without ever being aggressive.